Unrequited

Nervous - December, 1995

Arianna sat in her car in the parking lot of the little diner, nervous as hell. She was supposed to be meeting John for lunch, and for some reason, she was highly anxious. It's just John, you idiot, she scolded herself. But that thought sent her heart racing again. What was going on with her?

She had left the kids with her regular babysitter and had gotten herself all done up, something she rarely did anymore and usually only for special occasions. But she supposed that seeing John qualified as a special occasion. She checked her hair and makeup in the visor mirror one more time, and being satisfied with what she saw, she turned off the car and got out.

She had no idea what kind of car John drove, so she didn't know if he was even there. The thought of seeing him at any minute made her even more nervous. She was digging in her purse and slowly walking towards the diner's door when she heard his voice.

"Hi, Arianna," he said.

She looked up to see him smiling at her. And she noticed something right away. The sparkle in his eyes was back. She hadn't seen it in a very long time.

"Hey, John," she said, stepping over and kissing him on the cheek. "You look well," she added, but he scoffed at her.

"Arianna, it's me. Don't be so formal," he chided and opened the door for her.

She blushed as she stepped inside, him following her. They were soon seated across from one another in a window booth. Arianna just looked down and started nervously fidgeting with her silverware. As glad as she was to see John, she couldn't bring herself to actually look at him. That might be too much to handle. Couldn't they talk without eye contact?

"Arianna, does your husband know you're here?" John asked, trying to figure out why she was being so evasive with him.

"No," she answered quietly and still not looking at him. He sighed, feeling defeated already as he leaned his elbows on the table.

"Arianna," he started, but she finally lifted her eyes to his, making him stop before saying anything more. Her eyes were full of tears.

I haven't even said anything, and she's already crying. This is going to be horrible, John thought as he watched Arianna struggling with her emotions.

"My husband knows nothing. About anything. He's dead," she dropped, and John flinched, stunned. "He was killed about a year and a half ago. Shot to death by robbers in his deli," she explained, and it was John's turn to fidget.

At least she's not crying because of me. Not yet anyway, John selfishly thought as he saw a tear roll down her cheek. He wanted to wipe that tear away, to comfort her, but he wasn't sure she would allow him to touch her.

"I'm so sorry," he told her, and she simply shrugged her shoulders as she dropped her eyes again.

"It's just something I've had to deal with. Being a single mom has been tough, but..." she told him, letting her words trail off.

Just then, the waitress came over to their table, and Arianna was relieved by her presence. She did not like the way the conversation was going, and she was so nervous. She was barely keeping it together. She needed to get herself under control. Now. The waitress quickly finished and walked away. Arianna continued to not look at John, and he finally had enough of her evasiveness.

"Alright, little Miss Nervous over there. What is going on with you?" he asked, smirking at her.

"Nothing," she countered, her eyes remaining on her paper placemat.

"I have never seen you so nervous, Arianna. What is going on?" he pushed.

"I'm sorry, John," she sighed. "I guess I'm just nervous about seeing you."