Unrequited

Spirited - February 2000

John was looking out the window of one of Japan's high-speed trains as it cut through the countryside. Arianna was asleep beside him, her head resting on his shoulder. They had been through a lot in the past few weeks after her miscarriage and subsequent bout with depression, but now things seemed to be getting better.

When he had to go to Japan for a few dates with his Terroristen band, he had asked her to go along, and she had readily agreed. They had left all the kids in Sandy's charge and were enjoying a small working honeymoon of sorts. John had just finished all of the dates, and now they were heading back to Osaka to spend time together, to enjoy the sights and each other.

His mind wandered to another place and time when he was seemingly a different person. Eighteen years earlier, he and the other members of Duran had ridden this same train as they saw Japan for the very first time from its windows. He remembered having someone with him, but who was it? Not Arianna. They had not reconnected yet after her Grandmother's death. Was it Janine? Or was it some random girl he'd been fooling around with the night before? He could not remember who it was.

He closed his eyes and wished that part of his past could disappear. Sure, he had had loads of fun fooling around with all those random girls, but it had cost him loads more in the long run. Starting with losing Arianna over his flings, plus all the therapy that he had to endure to undo the psychological damage. All those indiscretions had left scars that could not be seen. Yet he had the physical scars, too.

He lifted his right hand and looked at the scars on the knuckles and fingers of that hand. He had given himself those scars in a fit of temper after Arianna had caught him cheating with one of those random women. He was such a stupid idiot. Then as vividly as if it had happened yesterday, that whole horrible scene played out in his head again. What hurt and disturbed him the most was remembering Arianna's face. The pain, the confusion, the pure anguish that had poured out of her that night was something that he would never forget.

As the train slowed to pull into the station, he leaned his head towards Arianna's and gently kissed the top of hers. He loved her so much that it sometimes hurt, even when she was right with him. All the years apart, all of the stops and starts, were too much to bear sometimes. At least they had come back together again, and they were really making it that time. In fact, it had already been five years since they had reunited after being married to other people. Plus, they had Luc. Luc was his pride and joy, partly because he was a boy but mostly because he was a part of Arianna.

That was why he loved her children from her previous marriage so much. Because they were a part of her. And while a part of him wished that he had been their biological father, he had become their father anyway, both emotionally and legally. They had called him Daddy practically since the day he had met them, and it was something that he really cherished, especially with Sophia. She was so much like Arianna, in both looks and spirit, that John couldn't help but show her a little bit of favoritism.

The funny thing was that it was Dylan who was already showing some musical ability at the young age of six. He learned song lyrics quickly and had been stealing his mother's pots and pans from the kitchen cabinet to bash away on them with her wooden spoons. He would have to buy the boy a real drum set for his birthday.

The train soon came to a stop, and John gently shook Arianna to wake her. She opened her eyes, and when she saw him, she smiled widely as she stretched. She caressed his cheek and then gently leaned in to kiss him.

"I love you," she whispered, holding his gaze for a moment, and then got to her feet to gather their things.

As she reached to get their bags down from the overhead rack, John couldn't help but take in his private view. He smiled as Arianna's shirt pulled away from the top of her jeans, exposing a small section of her stomach. How he truly enjoyed every inch of her body, and he had every notion of enjoying her as soon as they got to their hotel. In fact, he didn't want to wait.