Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

30 | WRONG

Everyone deals with stress and anxiety a little differently, but when it gets too much the most common reactions are screaming at people for no visible reason, not talking at all or breaking down crying. For Phoenix it was a mix of everything and the one thing causing it was a secret, which seemed to be known to everybody but her.

It was not until a few hours later when she was finally able to leave the room after dinner. She had barely eaten anything or talked. Her brother's gaze on her had made her want to throw up and curl into a corner, crying. Deep down she had always known he would eventually join the Death Eaters but still it came as a shock and she couldn't take it in that very moment.

So she stormed down the long corridor of the residence, not bothering the sound of the door opening behind her.

"Phoenix, wait," her brother yelled after her, which made her stop almost instantly.

Slowly she turned around as he approached her, his dark hair turning into a complete mess as he ran.

"Why?" she asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Regulus ran his hand through his hair, his facial expression filled with frustration. Obviously he was searching his mind for the right words to say. "I didn't know how. It's nothing that comes up in a casual conversation. How would it have been different anyway? You wouldn't approve, even if I told you, and I knew about that."

"No, I wouldn't. Because it's wrong, it's all kinds of wrong. How can you be that oblivious?" She threw her hands up in the air before pointing at him during the last sentence.

Regulus shook his head. "See? That's exactly why I didn't tell you. You're completely overreacting."

"Oh, am I?" Phoenix shouted in disbelief. "How can I be overreacting if I just found out my brother joined a dangerous army and is ready to kill innocent people?"

"I won't kill innocent people."

"Even if you won't kill the innocent ones, you'll have to kill one day. Perhaps you won't even have time to make sure they're guilty. It doesn't matter anyways if they are guilty or not, we are not in the position to decide over somebody's live." Her body nearly trembled from the hot rage burning through her veins. "We can punish them, yes, but we don't have the right to end somebody's live because of something they might not even be able to control. I'm sure you know that; you are not a murderer."

"And you don't get it, Phoenix. Being a Death Eater is not about killing people, it's about doing what's right and Mudbloods aren't meant to have the same powers as we do," Regulus retorted, stepping closer with no more regret showing on his face.

"You are wrong. They were gifted with these powers for a reason."

"No, they are nothing but parasites and deep down you know that, so stop playing the innocent angel. You think you always know what's right and best, but you don't. Finally lay down your pride and do what you're supposed to do," he reasoned.

At his words Phoenix breath got stuck in her throat, chocking her for a second. Her eyes widened in surprise. In all these years Regulus had never said anything like that to her face. Sure, they had had numerous arguments – they were no different than other siblings – but he had never told her of because of her beliefs. She swallowed and nodded.

"Tell mother I wasn't feeling good so I went home early," she managed to say before she turned on her heel and left the Lestrange's residence for good.

She barely felt the cold air and the raindrops falling from the sky as if they wanted to drown the earth. Everything she sensed was hurt and betrayal. Just hours before she had been happy, talking to Rabastan in his room, but now it felt like somebody had opened up her chest and buried their fingers into her heart. She had never believed Sirius when he had told her about their family not caring at all; she had always assured him they were just not good at showing it, but now it felt like everybody had turned their back on her. Her brother had joined Voldemort's army without telling her and it wasn't the only thing he had known about. She had read it in his face, he was alright with his parents claiming that-

The memory hit Phoenix as if somebody had struck her in the stomach. She completely ignored the first part of what Bellatrix had said because of her brother's horrible secret; she was supposed to become a Death Eater as well.

And that was the reason which made the first tear run down her cheek and mix with the raindrops, which had already drenched her hair and her dress soaking wet. One of her greatest fear had become reality. Her body started to tremble, but this time she her legs give in. Shaking from the cold and the empty feeling in her chest, she walked along the rarely used street in the direction of the shadows of London she could make out in the distance. More and more tears escaped her eyes and she ripped the necklace from her neck. She clenched her fist so tightly around it that it hurt, but she didn't care – just like she didn't care about the cold, the rain or the fact that she looked like a mess. It meant nothing compared to feeling of betrayal, which was settled deep in her heart.

★

Even hours later, when Phoenix sat on a bench in Regent's Park the rain hadn't stopped. People walked by the young girl with their umbrellas and jackets, giving her odd looks. She had told her brother she would go home, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, although she couldn't feel most of her body anymore because she felt so cold. She regretted the fact that she hadn't stopped to at least put on her cloak; it would have protected her from the rain at least a little. But now she sat there with her bare arms and legs exposed to the freezing air, her dress, shoes and hair drenched in water and her lips surely having a purple shade.

When the sky got even darker and the lights were turned on, she finally got up. Her body felt numb, as if she had worked hard for a complete day, but she wasn't ready to go home. She couldn't face her brother or her parents.

She knew it would only anger them more but when she walked out of the park she went the opposite way. It was only a few minutes until she stood in front of a terraced house with a lot of plants nicely placed in front of it. She looked at the house for a moment. Her brother had explained her multiple times where to go, there was no way she was at the wrong place. Hesitantly she walked up the few steps and pushed the doorbell.

She heard rumbling behind the door until a woman about in her fifties opened the door. She had dark, shoulder-length curls and a friendly face.

"What-" The woman began before she clapped her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened.

She turned around and yelled: "Sirius, get down here immediately... and bring some dry clothes."

Then she faced Phoenix again and gave her a warm, comforting smile. "Come in, dear, I'll get you a hot chocolate."