Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

40 | DAWN

This chapter is a little different from the others as it is written from a different perspective. However, it chronologically fits the plot of Oceans Deep, which is why I decided to count it as a real chapter rather than a special. I hope you like it.

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There've been outcasts in human society since people started to gather in groups. Usually outcasts are marked as such because of different beliefs or heritage, such as an inability of a man to kill animals among early humans, being a muggleborn witch among Purebloods or even influential people casting somebody out due to jealousy. Not being part of a larger group can be unimportant to some, while it bothers others greatly. The latter constantly see people staring at them or talking about them behind their backs, even if it's not the case in reality. It doesn't have to be real to turn into a fear of being an outcast and huge self-esteem issues.

Dawn Prince, who had tried to feel a little more confident about her body, definitely belonged to the second group. For months people had shot her weird glances or gushed her name whenever she walked past and while people like Rabastan Lestrange would definitely mistake these signs for adoration, Dawn didn't. In fact, she tried to be as invisible as possible. Her family basically kicking her out was more than enough and she didn't need hate from people she had once considered her second family. She had lost every single piece of her life because of something Sirius hadn't even taken seriously. There was every reason to hate the boy with dark, wavy hair and storm grey eyes, but even though Dawn wanted herself to hate him so badly for everything he had done to her, she couldn't get herself to do it. Truth be told, every time she saw him in the castle or he begged her for forgiveness, there was nothing she wanted more than to be close to him again. But she couldn't allow herself such a weakness again.

It was the feeling of her friends only pitying her rather than liking her, which made Dawn head to the Owlery on her own instead of joining Phoenix and Maureen in the courtyard, although Phoenix had insisted she should join them. The Owlery was usually the only place in Hogwarts with hardly any people around, but on that late afternoon in April, there was already somebody there. It was a rather tall boy with blackish hair that Dawn knew all too well - Sirius. She was sure she would know him everywhere, although he had his back facing her.

Hoping he wouldn't realise she has entered the room she walked backwards, but as the door had already closed she crashed against it, which made him spin around. A flash of surprise crossed his features as he eyed her with curiosity. "Dawn? What are you doing here?"

"Oh I thought I might find a flying teacher in here," she told him, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

A smirk spread across Sirius' face as he lifted a hand. "Well, then it is your lucky day."

"You?"

"Me."

Dawn rolled her eyes at him, pushing the door behind him open. "I'm sure with all that pressure of being in love with yourself, and only yourself, you might as well join up with flobberworms and then all of you can burst together if it ever becomes too much."

She turned on her heel and headed down the spiral staircase, hoping her statement had shut him up for at least a moment. Unfortunately, the door was yanked up once more and she heard footsteps rushing after her along with Sirius calling her name. Picking up her pace until she nearly ran she managed to get to the seventh floor until he caught her hand and pulled her back into him. Dawn crashed against his chest and for a second the two teenagers just stared at each other, Dawn's heart beating at a rapid pace, before she pulled away forcefully. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"In my defence, you were the one walking in on me up there." He pointed up at the ceiling where the Owlery had to be.

"You could just have stayed there, Mr. Know-it-all."

Sirius shook his head rapidly. "No, I don't care how many times I need to tell you until you finally believe me. I truly am sorry for what happened. At first it was a bet, yes, but I didn't want to go through with it once I got to you know you."

"Why should I believe you, Black? Every word you said was a lie, wasn't it?" Dawn yelled at him, feeling her heart slowly break all over again in her chest.

"No, I told you the truth when I said I liked you and so did I every time I told you how beautiful you are. Please Dawn."

The brunette girl only snorted at his words.

"I can find a way to make it up to you. Every day I'll make it up to you until you're finally able to forgive me," Sirius pleaded, trying to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

She felt her eyes burn, but she didn't want to cry. Not in front of him. She didn't want him to feel like he deserved her tears. "You will never be able to make it up to me. Your stupid bet cost me everything. I lost my family, my place in Slytherin, my friends, my-" Dawn stopped herself before she could tell him that she had nowhere to live when the holidays came around. "Everything I held dear and it's your fault. I will never be able to forget that."

She turned around and left Sirius standing in the hallway once more. She ran through the corridors her eyes burning, but she didn't allow herself to cry until she reached a bench outside of the castle. Her bag fell into the grass and she sat down, her hands covering her face as the first tears made their way down her cheeks. A sob escaped her, but she tried to dry her cheeks and eyes with her hands as she heard somebody approaching. She looked up to see Lily, a redheaded Gryffindor girl, who was one year older and Sirius' best friend's girlfriend.

"Are you alright?" she asked offering her a kind smile.

Immediately Dawn nodded, still trying to cover that she had been crying before. "Sure."

Lily sat down next to her. "It's okay to cry, you know? It's as much healing as a good night's sleep."

Dawn's burning eyes must have given her away and the Head girl placed her arms around her. The younger one could stop the tears from falling again as she sobbed against Lily's shoulder.

After a few minutes Dawn pulled away with an embarrassed look on her face, running the sleeve of her jumper over her cheeks. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for," Lily answered, offering her a comforting smile. "I don't want to force you to tell me what happened, but I think it was about Sirius' and the situation he got you into." The redhead scanned her face. "I think what the boys and him did was absolutely awful and I screamed at them for even coming up with a plan like that. I'm really sorry."

"I just... I feel so incredibly stupid for believing him. I really want to hate him, but every time I see him I find myself missing him, although he made me lose everything," Dawn confided in her, another tear cascading down her cheek.

Lily stared at her for a long moment. "You didn't lose everything, you know? You should talk to Phoenix some time. From my experience she's a great listener and last time we talked, she told me she was worried about you."

Dawn shook her head. "I don't want to burden her."

"How could you ever think of yourself as a burden?"

"Because I am. See, she's really busy with Rabastan's injury and homework and something she didn't tell me. Also Sirius is her brother. I don't want to put her in a position where she has to choose."

Lily tilted her head a little. "But didn't she go for a run with you last week although she hates sports? You two spend a lot of time together and if you both just talked to each other instead of letting your worries eat you up from the inside, it might be helpful for you both. That's what being friends is all about. Them being siblings doesn't matter. She might help you to look at it from a different angle."

"Do you want to become a healer?" Dawn changed the subject with a weak smile. Although the girl was really kind she felt like talking to her about that subject might only make her feel worse.

Lily laughed. "Is it that obvious?"

"I think you might be really good at helping people," the younger girl told her with a shrug.

Lily opened her mouth to give an answer, but shewas cut off by a crashing sound from the inside of the castle and someoneyelling a jinx.