Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

42 | POWERS

Later that day when everybody had already left to their dorms, Phoenix sat in the empty common room in an armchair, her legs tucked against her chest. She blankly stared at a random spot, her tears already dried and only leaving a salty feeling on her cheeks, while her mind was rushing with thoughts. She was glad the room was empty after the dorms had slowly filled with girls, who bombarded her with questions, causing a terrible headache to form behind her temples. It almost felt as if her thoughts had wanted to jump out of her head. At some point she had slid under the covers of her bed but as hard as she tried sleep wouldn't come to her that evening, so she tiptoed out of the room and sat down by the fire.

She inhaled a shaky breath. She's a psycho. Crystal's and Rabastan's words wouldn't leave her alone and made a rope tighten around her chest. She had tried everything to make sure everybody would like her but apparently she had failed, and they didn't just dislike her but where disgusted. Weren't they able to see how scared she was of her powers herself? With all the trouble among her friends in the last weeks, she had kept her mind occupied but the latest events made her wonder if it wasn't the truth. Monster. Perhaps her initial thoughts had been right and she was putting everybody in jeopardy.

It wasn't until somebody placed a warm hand on her shoulder that she snapped out of her thinking state. Her head jerked up only to see Regulus standing next to her. He offered her a tired smile and sat down on the sofa next to her. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Phoenix shook her head, glancing at her hands. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Regulus gesturing her to come sit with him, just like they used to do whenever one of them had a bad dream when they were little. Following his offer, she nuzzled into his side and he draped an arm around her shoulders.

For a long time neither of them said a word and they just sat there, listening to the sound of the fire and drifting off in their own minds, until Phoenix spoke up in a whisper. "Do you think I'm a monster?"

She felt Regulus stir. "Why would you say that?"

Phoenix simply shrugged, shaking her head slightly. However, she felt her brother looking at her, most likely with curiosity. "I heard what happened with that Mudblood after classes. Did she plant these thoughts into your mind?"

Surprisingly she didn't even flinch at his insult towards Crystal and he kept on talking in a soft voice. "See, that's what our parents tried to tell us all along. Do you remember the stories father told us about Muggles hunting witches and wizards in the middle-ages? Our kind has lived in hiding ever since, but father was so sure Muggle-borns would help them to do the same once again and as I see it, our parents wanted to protect us from people like Crystal Morgan. If anyone is dangerous, it's her – not you."

"She's just a girl, Reg," Phoenix pointed out, shifting slightly in her seat.

"So are you and you didn't attack her."

She turned around to face him. "I was ready to do it, though. I think I'm going crazy and Crystal wasn't the only one saying something like that."

Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. "Rabastan?"

Phoenix nodded and looked down to her hands. She wanted to trust him with everything she had been going through over the past year, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to tell him, in fear of him looking at her differently – with disgust or even fear. Her secrets seemed to be tearing her apart internally.

"Rabastan has a hard time controlling his feelings. I know he told you about his... well I think you might call it his depression. There are two extremes with him, anger and sadness, but while he's fairly honest when saddened, and pretty good at hiding it too, you can't trust anything he says when he's furious."

"But how am I supposed to think it isn't true if there are other people saying the same thing?" Phoenix questioned.

"Because there is an awful lot of people to contradict them. Everyone would like to hurt somebody once in a while, it doesn't make you a monster."

"My powers might," she whispered, not sure if she intended her brother to hear it or not.

"What powers?"

Her eyes widened in realisation about what she had just done. Now there was no way of keeping it from him. She was sure he wouldn't force her to tell him, but in the history of Phoenix keeping secrets from him, she had always spilled it at some point when guilt had overwhelmed her. In fact, it was much of a surprise that she had managed to hide it for that long. Perhaps he wouldn't simply see her as a monster but as a disgusting beast. But wasn't he just as disgusting, as he followed a man who was ready to kill thousands of innocent people? Phoenix inhaled deeply; there was no going back. "I... I don't really understand it yet and I think there's more to it than we know."

"You? As in Rabastan and yourself? Is him knowing about it, what made him call you out?" Regulus interjected and Phoenix wasn't sure if he asked out of jealousy. Perhaps it hurt that his best friend knew more than he did.

"I guess so," she admitted in a low voice. "He found out by accident."

"So what kind of powers are we talking about?" Regulus asked, as she grew silent again.

Phoenix sighed. "Moving things, like telekinesis I guess, and feeling some people's emotions. Also there's something I don't understand yet. Today and back when Damian showed everybody his dark mark, I managed to make people do things I wanted them to do. It's unnatural, isn't it? I'm pretty sure that's what monsters are made of."

"But you haven't hurt anyone, did you?" he inquired.

"No, well, I did... unintentionally. I attacked Crystal by accident and since then she keeps bothering me," she explained with a sigh. "Perhaps that's why she hates me that much."

A grin spread across Regulus' face, surprising Phoenix. How did violence make him grin? "Did you at least kick her ass?"

"What?"

His grin widened. "Well, she doesn't onlybother you, but me and a few other Slytherins. She kind of deserves it."