Marmoris | Rabastan Lestrange [1] ✔︎

41 | WEAKLING

When Phoenix left the Defence classroom along with Maureen's twelve-year-old sister Amanda, whom she had been tutoring in several subjects for a couple of months, she hadn't expected what she walked into as they entered the entrance hall. She heard someone yelling a knock-back jinx just as she spotted Maureen, Will and Rabastan at the other end of the hall. Next thing Rabastan was screaming out in pain as he hit the floor after his legs and crutches had been pulled away from under his body and he collapsed. Phoenix' smile vanished. Rabastan had been doing better in the few weeks prior but there was no doubt that his back still bothered him greatly as he had difficulty walking without crutches.

Without thinking twice, she pushed through the gathering students and found herself in-between the two parties, her wand pointed at no other than Crystal Morgan. The girl hadn't yet lowered her own wand and gave her a pleased grin. "I knew the girlfriend would rush to the rescue."

"I'm not his girlfriend," Phoenix pointed out, coldness lacing her voice. She couldn't deny that she had spent a lot of time with the blonde boy, but the thought of them being more than friends scared her, although she knew it would never happen. But it wasn't the fact that Crystal called her Rabastan's girlfriend that made anger boil in her veins, but what she had done prior to calling Phoenix out. She was good at ignoring her insults since the incident at Hogsmead but when it came to hurting her friends, physically or mentally, her wouldn't play nice.

"What is your bloody problem?" Phoenix just barely managed to stop herself from insulting Crystal with her muggleborn heritage. Although she didn't share her parents' attitude about blood purity it seemed to come natural in her anger as she had grown up around it.

The younger girl gave her a fake laugh. "You are my problem." She made a wide gesture with her hand towards the students standing around them. "Do you see it now? Phoenix Black is a psycho, she's dangerous."

Phoenix felt her hands slowly start to shake although she wasn't sure if it was caused by anger or by how much her words hurt. Her chest felt like somebody was tightening a rope around it as she choked out, "What did I ever do to you to cause you to hate me that much?"

Crystal glared at her, her face full of disgust. "You don't even feel guilty?"

"Guilty about what?"

"For hurting people wherever you go. Look at the weakling behind you, his pain is your fault, but you've caused even worse-"

The youngest Black felt the air change around her as she felt the warm feeling of her powers flood through her veins. The words cut deep and caused an agony worse than any physical injury. Slowly she clenched her fists, ready to knock the girl off of her feet. However, she was flipped into the air by an invisible rope and hung upside down before Phoenix' powers even fully manifested. Stunned she turned around to see Rabastan pushing himself up from the floor, his wand still in his left hand. In that very moment Lily Evans appeared at the scene, shouting at people to go away. Phoenix barely heard her as she removed house points from Gryffindor and Slytherin, and informed them that all of it would have consequences, as her gaze lingered on Rabastan.

To her surprise he gave her a cold glare before gripping his crutches and pushing his way through the crowd. Phoenix stood still for a moment, the rope around her chest getting tighter by the second, before she attempted to follow him. However, Sirius grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "Leave him."

"No, I can't."

"Princess, listen to me. His ego simply needs time to cool down. He's totally fine," her oldest brother assured her, but she shook her head heavily.

"You don't understand. I need to talk to him. Let me go." She watched Sirius' pupils widen and then he let go of her arm as if he had never planned on holding onto it in the first place. However, she didn't waste time thinking about the weird occurrence, rushing down the corridor which Rabastan had walked down moments before.

★

Rabastan Lestrange gripped the sink in the boys' bathroom so tightly that his knuckles started to turn white. He stared at his reflection in the mirror above it and felt his shoulders tremble in anger and agony. He didn't see what he wanted to see. He wanted to be like his brother, Rodolphus, strong, loyal and proud, and always taking whatever he wanted. Despite what people might think if they knew about their family's issues, Rabastan didn't despise his brother. In fact, he looked up to him like he imagined most little brothers would and wanted to be like him in so many ways. But everything he saw in the mirror was a weak boy with more flaws than strengths, a loser. No matter how hard he tried to be like his brother, he was sure that eventually people would catch on that he was hiding his true face and just like the Gryffindor girl they would use his weaknesses to against him.

He heard the door behind him open with a screeching sound but he didn't turn around. His reputation had been shamed enough that day. But when he heard Phoenix' voice calling out his name he turned around, unable to stop himself from taking an aggressive stance.

"What do you want?" he growled.

She flinched at his tone but seemed to ignore it. "I wanted to see if you were alright."

Rabastan snorted, turning back around. "I don't need anyone to look after me or protect me."

Her face showed hurt and it pained him to be the cause of that but his rage at himself prevented him from stopping. He couldn't catch a clear thought and the fact that being around her had made him show weakness, lead him to lash out at her.

"Please, Rabastan, I know you're not alright," Phoenix tried to reason with him in a soothing voice but he hit the sink with his hands.

"How would you possibly know?" he yelled at her. "Because of some information you read up in a book? How does that make you an expert? I'm not some toy you can fix."

He stared at her in the mirror, his blood rushing with emotions he could impossibly show, as he saw her looking at him with a worry written all over her features. Deep down he felt a weight pulling him down but it was easier being angry than dealing with that pain. Phoenix wasn't really the cause of his negative emotions, far from that actually, but she was the only one there to let them out on.

"Rabastan, I-"

"Don't! Stop walking on glass around me. I don't need your protection or your pity. You made me look like even more of a weakling than the situation itself already did down there," he spat at her. "I'm capable of taking care of myself. I have done it for quite some time and you didn't even bother to really acknowledge me. Don't act like you care now."

"But I do."

"Why? Because I make you feel like less of a freak? Now, let me tell you something. You pretty much looked like a mental down there," she watched as her face went pale all of a sudden. "My forearms may be covered in scars but I'm way less of a psycho than a girl using her powers against another student because of a prank."

He watched silent tears streaming down Phoenix' face and suddenly the anger subsided. His thoughts became clearer and he slowly turned around, taking a few steps in her direction although his body hurt with every tiniest movement but she backed away. "Don't you dare touch me."

"I'm sorry, Nix. I-" The anger was gone and with its disappearing the pain and guilt came flooding back.

"I'm so sorry," he said but she had already stormed out of the bathroom and he realised that he had just pushed away the one person who had been able to mend his broken heart.