What's The Point? - NCIS Fan-fiction

Chapter 6

What’s The Point?

Chapter 6

Gibbs and Tony were now talking about ways for Tony to feel his has control.

“Tony, before we start, you have to promise me something.” Gibbs said. Tony nodded slowly.

“What?” he asked.

“Whenever you feel you want to cut, you have to tell me, okay?” Gibbs pleaded softly. Tony nodded again.

“Okay.” He whispered softly. “But what if we’re in the office?” he questioned shyly. Gibbs thought for a moment before saying,

“If you don’t want to say it directly, use a code word.”

“Like what?”

“Taxi.” Gibbs said after a moment. Tony gave him a small smile.

“Okay.” Gibbs smiled at him. “Do we, uh, have to tell the team?” Tony asked worriedly. Gibbs placed his calloused hand on Tony’s.

“Not if you don’t want to.” He promised. Tony let out a relived breath.

“But,” Tony said. “You want me to talk to someone, like a therapist.” Tony said, more of a statement than a question.

“I would like you to, but if you don’t want to, at least talk to me.” Gibbs compromised. Tony thought about this for a long moment.

“You…and maybe Rachael.” He said finally. Gibbs smiled and nodded slightly.

“Okay Tony, whatever you want.” He said supportively. Tony nodded, and looked down nervously at his hands, waiting for Gibbs to start the original conversation at hand.

“Okay,” Gibbs started, sensing to Tony was waiting for this conversation to end. “What type of way do you want to have control?” he asked. Tony shrugged.

“I dunno.” If Tony was perfectly honest, he was quite happy with the way he currently keeps control.

“I want you to live with me for a while; I just don’t think you should have to be alone right now. If you want to.” Gibbs requested. Tony nodded, without hesitation.

“I…I don’t want to be alone.” Tony whispered, still looking at his hands.

“Okay.” Gibbs nodded. An idea pooped into his head. “How about we decorate the guest room to whatever you want? As long as the bed stays.” Gibbs asked. “That way, you can change or add whatever you want to the room when you feel the need for control.” He finished. Tony looked at him as if he was crazy.

“Boss,” he started. “That’s crazy! It’s your guest room!” Tony exclaimed. Gibbs smiled gently, and softly stated,

“It’s your room now Tony.”

“Are you sure?” Tony whispered vulnerability and insecurity clearly evident in his voice.

Had the kid never had his own room before? Gibbs thought.

“Yeah, Tony. I’m sure.” He assured his friend. Tony still looked uncertain. “Have I ever lied to you Tony?” Gibbs asked. Tony shook his head.

“Never boss.”

“And I’m not going to start now.” Gibbs stated, and smiled at Tony. Tony still looked uncertain, but nodded slowly, giving Gibbs a small smile.

“Thanks, Gibbs.” Gibbs placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder, and squeezed gently.

“My pleasure, son.”

NCISNCISNCIS

A week later

Everyone was at the office. The rest of the team were happy to see Tony slowly turning back to his normal self again. Gibbs had kept his word, and had not told anyone about Tony’s secret, even after he had been bombarded with questions about why Tony had disappeared suddenly last week. He had told them to mind their own business and walked away. Tony had now redecorated the guest-room to a black-and-white theme, and Gibbs had carved a name plate with the words Tony’s Room engraved in black, and had nailed it to the door as a surprise when Tony was out for a run. Tony was touched to say the very least.

The team were now writing up their reports on their latest case, which Ducky had ruled a suicide. Gibbs was worried about how Tony would react, but when he asked, Tony had told him he was fine.

“What do you think of the case, Tony?” Ziva asked suddenly.

“What do you mean, Zee-vah?” Tony looked up from his report. Ziva stopped typing.

“I mean, what do you think about suicide?” Gibbs looked up at that question and saw Tony freeze up a little.

“I dunno.” Tony lied. “I guess I never really thought about it. What about you.” He asked.

“I think it is stupid and selfish.” Ziva stated, sounding disgusted.

“Why would you think that?” Tony asked, grinding his teeth together.

“It is for cowards. In my country, when bombs are going off every day, killing hundreds, you know you are lucky to be alive when others are not, so you cannot take life for granted. But then you come over to America, where spoilt children go and shoot themselves because they didn’t get the doll they wanted.” Ziva replied as if it was a fact.

“And what about adults?” Tony wanted to know. Ziva snorted in disgust.

“And it is especially selfish when adults kill themselves, just because their partner dumped them.” Ziva said hotly, using their dead Marine’s reason – well, what the guys in his unit thought. Tony stood up suddenly, slapping his hands on the desk.

“DiNozzo.” Gibbs warned, but Tony ignored him, striding over to Ziva’s desk to stand in front of her.

“Commander Jensen was a damn good Marine and you know it. He had his reasons, and so does everyone else that kills themselves, or tries too. And, did you know, teens are more likely to commit suicide then adults because of bullying or abuse?” Tony raged. “Not everyone was trained as an emotionless freak! Most of people can only deal with so much!” He yelled at a speechless Ziva. Gibbs marched over to Tony.

“Stand down, DiNozzo!” he ordered. Tony turned to face him, red in the face.

“Going to the head.” Tony rasped out, before rushing to the mens bathroom.

“Gibbs, I –” Ziva started, but Gibbs cut her off by holding up his hand.

“No, Ziva. He had every right to act that way, even though he probably shouldn’t have.”

“Gibbs, I do not understand why he acted like that.” Ziva was genuinely confused by Tony outburst. Gibbs sighed.

“What you said, Ziva, it was very insensitive. Yes, maybe in Israel, thing are different, but saying people only kill themselves because they didn’t get what they what, people will find that very offensive.” Gibbs explained. “People use suicide as a last resort, when they feel they can’t handle life anymore.” Gibbs finished, letting Ziva speak.

“I…I did not think of it like that.” She said softly. Gibbs just grunted. He felt his cell vibrate in his pocket, letting him know he had received a text. He opened the message, revealing one word.

“Taxi.”