What's The Point? - NCIS Fan-fiction

Chapter 14

What’s The Point?

Chapter 14

Tony pulled at his tie for what must have been the tenth time in the last 5minutes. Gibbs and him have a meeting with Vance today about when – and if – Tony will be coming back to work, and what will be happening with Ziva and McGee. Gibbs came into the living room from the kitchen after hearing a frustrated sigh. He saw Tony tugging at the blue and grey stripped tie and chuckled to himself. He placed his coffee down and knelt down in front of where the younger man was sat.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Tony stared at him.

“Do I really have to wear this bloody thing?” Tony asked, pulling at the piece of neckwear again. Gibbs smiled gently and went to fix the tie.

“Yeah.” He said.

“But whyyy?” Tony sounded more like a teenager. “I never wore one before, so why do I have to now?” he asked. Gibbs grinned at him, making the tie straight.

“I know you would prefer not to wear it, but Vance said SECNAV might be there. If he’s not, you can take it off. I’m sure Vance will understand.” Ever since his bout with the plague, Tony has avoided wear ties, unless it was absolutely necessary.

“Humph. Fine.” Tony crossed his arms across his chest and pouted. Gibbs tapped under Tony’s chin.

“Come on, I made lunch.” Gibbs rose, smiling when Tony gave him a small smile and a quiet,

“Okay.” Tony still hadn’t Gibbs that over the last few weeks, he had been throwing up on purpose, but, after seeing the hurt in the older man’s eyes when he didn’t eat, he was trying to eat more and not throw it back up. It wasn’t easy, and he found that he had the urge to cut more, but at least he was trying. Tony followed his father into the kitchen, and sat down slowly at the table, where a plate of PB&J sandwiches suddenly appeared in front of him. Tony looked up and offered Gibbs a weak smile. Gibbs noticed that something was bothering his son by his body language. He grabbed a spare chair and pulled it up beside Tony and sat down. When he placed a calloused hand on Tony’s knee, he looked up from the sandwich he was picking at.

“What’s bothering you, Tony?” he asked. Tony dipped his head.

“Nothing.” The young Italian whispered. “It’s stupid.” It was times like this that Gibbs wanted to kill DiNozzo Senior for not caring about the son he was lucky to have. For not giving his son the guidance and attention that every child needed from their parent. For letting Tony’s self-esteem get so low that he didn’t think that anyone could love or care about him.

“Hey!” Gibbs replied, sternly but softly. “Whatever it is, I can promise you that it is not stupid. I can’t help, if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Tony raised his head, and looked at him through vulnerable, large, emerald eyes.

“Promise you won’t get mad?” Tony dipped his head again.

“Promise.” Gibbs squeezed his son’s knee encouragingly.

“It’s just…” Tony started after a moment. “How much do Vance and SECNAV know? How much do Ducky and Abby know? How much does the entire building know?” Tony asked, playing with a loose thread on his shirt, which Gibbs had noticed – over the years – was one of Tony’s nervous habits.

“SECNAV and the rest of the building think our team is on vacation. Vance knows that we are on leave, and the Ziva and McGee situation. Ducky and Abbs know that you are living here and Ducky knows about the cutting.” Gibbs told him soothingly, trying to calm the younger man down. Tony glanced up a Gibbs quickly.

“What about McGee and Ziva?” he asked quietly. “It’s just…what if they told people?”

“Tony, I promise you, if they told people what they know without your permission, they will have me to deal with.” Gibbs told him, hoping to God that they better not have told people, because Tony really didn’t the extra anxiety at the moment.

“I just don’t want people giving me pity.”

“People wouldn’t give you pity, Tony.”

“That, or say that I’m doing it for attention.” Tony told him sadly. Tony heard Gibbs gasp.

“Why would they say that?” he asked. Tony looked up at him, hurt filling his eyes.

“People are mean, dad. When I was twelve, I didn’t know how to hide the cuts. I did it one my wrist, knowing they would be covered by my shirt, but I forgot that we had to wear short-sleeved t-shirts for gym. Kids in my class saw them, and because they knew Senior was loaded, they assumed I had everything I wanted, no reason to cut myself. They said I was doing it for attention. Made fun of me and told everyone in our year, and it eventually spread through every grade in the school. I got bullied from day one, all the way up to my very last day, and all because I didn’t know hide the stupid cuts. Needless to say, after that one time, I cut wear no-one would see.” Tony told him, shivering at the memory from his boarding school days. Gibbs squeezed his knee again.

“Did your teachers not do anything?” Tony shook his head.

“No. They didn’t care. One of the older kids – Daniel Jones – he was about 4years older than me, I think, he took pity on me, after he came into the locker room one day and saw me gagged and tied up. He – like everyone else – knew about the cuts, but, he was different. He tried to make me stop. Every single day, for the next two years, before his time at Rhode Island Military Academy was up. He was my only friend, the only person who gave a crap about me. When he graduated, I was a loner for the next four years. I was bullied even more when Daniel left. I never got a chance to thank him for what he did – or tried to do. I have no clue where he is today.” Tony turned away, embarrassed. He knew that Gibbs thought he was a popular kid, back in the day. “If I was doing it for attention, why would I try so hard to hide it?” Gibbs pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that son.” Gibbs didn’t miss the wetness in his boy’s eyes. “I promise you, you won’t have to go through that again.” Tony returned the hug weakly, resting his head on Gibbs’ broad shoulder.

“I hope you’re right.” Tony mumbled, more to himself than to Gibbs. He pulled him. “Can we just get this over with?” he asked. Gibbs smiled.

“Yeah.” He passed the keys to his truck to Tony. “Go wait in the truck and I’ll be there in a minute.” Tony nodded and made his way outside. When he was out of earshot, Gibbs pulled out his cell and dialled a familiar number.

“Hey, Abbs. I need you to look up a Daniel Jones for me…”