Moments of gladness, moments of sadness & everything in-between.

What do you want?

Spamming my Wattpad because I don't really have anyone to ramble. My ramblings tend to scare.

An actual conversation I had with my Therapist:

I can't kill myself.

Yes, you can, anyone can if they want to enough.

What's stopping you?

My Ma's needs me.

I can't go.

She swears she'd follow me into the darkness. That's why I'm here. I want her to live happily and if this means me living when some days I really don't want to. Then that's what shall be done!

I want to be happy.

How do you intend to do that?

Cardiff.

Alex you can't keep running to Wales.

What do you want out of life?

A family.

A business.

She smiles...

More short-term Alex.

I want more strong coffee.

I want to be independent enough to just randomly decide I'm going to go for coffee.

I want to sit in castle gardens and read poetry with my best friend.

I want to go to more gigs. Live music makes me feel well alive.

I want long, stupid and deep conversations.

I want to go on nights out and enjoy myself.

I want to go on day trips, travel... I need to see the sea again.

I want to make genuine connections with new people.

I want evenings full of Chinese food and video games also pizza!

I want to go to Prom... and enjoy it!

I want to go on dates.

Buy flowers.

Hug and kiss.

I'm good at falling, have you seen my latest graze?

I want my art in galleries.

I want to read my poetry out loud.

Possibly publish it.

I want to shoot with dad on a summer afternoon.

I want to not have to consume Prozac.

I want to make my friends and family proud.

I want to buy Ma a house.

I want to look after people, make them happy.

I don't want much.

-XR