Paintings Of Him

Chapter 3 - Realization

The next morning I walked into the kitchen grimacing, expecting to see the boys eating breakfast at the table together before school, laughing and discussing their next football game. Instead, I found Jordan alone, staring wordlessly into his bowl of cereal.

"J?" I asked nervously. "Everything okay?"

When he looked up and I saw the darkness in his eyes that were the same colour as mine, I frowned slightly. Instead of cracking a joke like he always did, there was emptiness in his eyes and a certain aura that was almost...cold.

"Clara, we need to talk."

"About what?"

He sighed and dragged out a long breath. "Corbin."

I was taken back slightly, leaning back and looking at him with hard eyes. Shrugging carelessly and keeping my voice void of emotion, I walked over to the fridge to avoid his stare. "What about him?"

"That" he spat out which made me look back at him with wide eyes as I got a yoghurt out of the fridge. "That is exactly what I mean."

"What?"

"You treat him like crap! You are so cold to him and never make an effort to get along with him or even have a relationship. He is always going to be a part of my life, Clara! You will just have to deal with it" he ran a hand through his hair stressfully.

I tried to joke around. "I thought you forbid us ever being in a relationship."

"Well maybe anything would be better than you glaring at him constantly and shrugging off his comments like he barely exists! Look, I know you might never be the best of friends but I can't stand to have my best friend come up to me and tell me that my little sister is being a bitch-"

"He said what?" I slammed the yoghurt down on the counter.

"He said that you were treating him like a piece of shit on the side of the road, like he had done something really wrong. He even tried to ask if you had been through something recently-I mean, god, Clara! Just be nice to him!" Jordan persisted.

"I was not treating him like shit!" I snapped. "He was being a nosy little shit asking me questions about college and I just told him that it isn't his business! Which it isn't!"

Jordan laughed but it held no humour, cracking in the middle with anger. "Did it ever occur to you that he might just have an interest in your life? Like..oh I don't know-a normal human being!"

"He has no right to go running to you-"

The three loud knocks on the door had me freezing slightly before jumping into notion, springing forward and ripping it open while Jordan followed me.

Corbin's face fell when he saw the look on my face. "Clara? What's wrong?"

"You!" I snapped. "Telling Jordan that I treat you like shit! Who do you think you are? You are not my friend, I can talk to you however the hell I want."

His eyes widened. "I didn't-"

"Clara" Jordan stood behind me. "Stop overreacting! He didn't say it exactly like that.."

Sucking in a breath I turned around and faced my brother. "What do you mean he didn't say it like that?"

"Listen..he just said that he felt like you hate him, like he has done something wrong. He asked if I could help out..I just exaggerated to make you feel bad" Jordan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You little-" my mouth hung open.

"You still need to be nicer to him! I don't get why you hate him so much, he is totally nice to you..."

I groaned. "I do not hate him. Just, leave me alone."

Rushing upstairs and slamming the door to my room, I locked it when I heard voices outside. Breathing in deeply, I paced back and forth resisting the urge to rip my own hair out. Of course I was horrible to Corbin. But I didn't hate him and that is exactly why I had to be so cruel, if he found out then he would give me his soft sympathy eyes and his furrowed eyebrows that make him look so sweet and tell me that he doesn't feel the same. At least if he never found out, I could go on pretending that there was a shred of hope that one day the feelings would magically go away and I could just be friends with him.

Three soft raps on the door made me gulp and squeeze my eyes shut. "Clara? It's me, uh-Corbin. Jordan went out to blow off some steam, I wanted to make sure you're okay..."

Ignoring him, I grabbed my sketchpad and started doodling something to take my mind off the argument with my stupid brother that thinks he knows best. When I look down minutes later, I smile softly when I see Corbin's soft eyes staring back at me on the paper as if they were real.

The sound of my door opening had me throwing the pad on the floor and yelping.

"What the hell? How did you get in?"

He looked down and frowned. "You keep a spare key above the door."

"How did you-" I shook my head. "You have to get out."

"Come on, please! Just talk to me for once, tell me something. Just stop acting like I am the devil" he looked exhausted.

"Corbin" I sighed and looked away.

"Here" he said and picked up the sketchpad. Before I could panic he smiled, opening up the book. "Hey, I can finally see some of your work! Wow, this is beautiful...who?"

Then it clicked.

His face went as white as a sheet and he gulped loudly, turning the pages slowly as I stood frozen in shock, horror and fear. "Clara...why are these all of me?"