Paintings Of Him

Chapter 16 - Changes

Something in Corbin had changed over the past few days. It was like he was holding back, every longing look that he sent me made my heart beat faster and he had been staying at the house more as if hoping to grab my attention. I had tried to ignore him, needing time to process my feelings and what he had told me out of the blue. It had affected me more than I had let on, each night ever since he told me had been restless, no proper rest as my mind ran through every sentence. It was stitched into my heart, each line memorized automatically in my soul.

The thing that always held me back, was that it all seemed too good to be true. 

When Lois came to visit for the weekend, I had told her everything. She sat there for a good minute in silence, her mouth hung open and her eyes wide with confusion. She scanned my eyes carefully, and instead of squealing with delight like I had expected, she focused on me. 

"Are you okay?" she asked carefully, clutching my hand. 

I frowned slightly. "I-I thought you would be jumping for joy and telling me that you told me so...you don't seem-"

She smiled apologetically. "Page, I am so happy for you. But I can tell by your face that you are confused and torn. I don't care about his feelings, you're my best friend...I had expected this eventually but I just care about how you're dealing with it."

I sent her a grateful look then sighed. "I-I don't know. I guess I'm just cautious, I can't let myself get let down like I always have been. I'm sick of him not knowing how he feels, I need him to be sure before anything happens."

"I understand" she told me. "I don't blame you for being a little cold towards him after everything. You have every right to make sure that he knows how he feels before jumping into anything."

I looked down, squeezing her hand. "I'm not sure how to feel right now. I-I haven't even thought about telling Jordan, I have no idea what I am supposed to say...how's college, your best friend dropped out because he kissed me and now has feelings for me?" I scoffed nervously, running my hands through my hair. 

"I wouldn't put it like that..." she drawled with a slow chuckle. 

I sighed. "I don't know...I need to talk to him soon before he gets on the plane to come see me himself. I will find something to tell him, I'm sure..."

"You need to talk to Corbin" she reminded me with a small wince. "I know you, Page. I bet you have been ignoring him at every opportunity."

I blew out a breath. "Yeah, you know me well. I know I need to face him eventually. I-I just don't know what I'm going to say."

"I'm always here for you" she linked her arm through mine. "You know that, weirdo."

I laughed, ruffling her long blonde hair. "Yes, freak."

...

Corbin was waiting when I got home, pacing by the door nervously. When he saw my reluctant gaze as I shut the door behind me, he sighed and wiped his palms on his sides. There was something in his eyes that had changed over the past few days, and he was quiet as if worried that he would do something wrong. 

"I think we need to talk..." he suggested weakly. 

I sighed slowly, placing my jacket down. "Yeah, you're right. We do need to talk."

I walked into the kitchen, hopping up onto the counter as I ran a hand down my face. We were both silent for a minute as if we didn't know what to say or how to begin something when we were not sure what it would turn into. 

"You've been quiet all week" I mentioned in a small voice, looking up and searching his eyes. "Why?" 

He kept his distance as he spoke up weakly. "I-I guess I'm worried that I'm going to say the wrong thing."