Paintings Of Him

Chapter 15 - Feelings

I had ignored every call from Corbin, walking around town aimlessly to distract myself from the heaviness settled on my chest. I sighed as I walked, thinking about all of the people around me and wondered why I still felt so alone. I had parents who didn't want to know me anymore and a brother who still didn't know that I had dropped out of college. I had a best friend that was busy with school and her new excitements that she barely picked up the phone, swamped with coursework and preparations for exams. 

I felt like although I had people that cared about me, I had nobody to turn to. 

As soon as I put my key in the lock to come home, Corbin had opened the door as if he was waiting for me. Judging by the relief in his eyes and his messy hair, he had been watching the clock for my return as if he was worried about me. 

"You didn't leave a note" he breathed, opening the door to let me in. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't realize I lived with my mother..."

He frowned and shook his head. "No! That isn't what I- Clara, I was just worried. You normally leave a note or tell me when you are leaving so I just didn't know where you were."

"Why do you need to know where I am?" my voice had a sharp edge to it and judging by his furrowed eyebrows, he had noticed it. 

I set my bag down on the table, my keys smacking down against the wood harshly. He scanned me and then blew out a breath. 

"You're angry" he states in a quiet voice. 

I shook my head, sighing deeply as I took off my jacket. "I'm not anything, okay? I've just had a long day, that's all."

"Oh" he looked down nervously, "Well...anything I can help with?"

I shook my head and then shrugged carelessly, busying myself with emptying my bag so that he wouldn't notice how freaked out I was. He watched me carefully as I riffled through my bag longer than necessary, finding my keys and then putting them back again to seem busy. 

"Things went well with Rhea I'm guessing?" my voice was calm but it shook slightly. 

He was quiet for a long time, his eyes falling down to the floor as if he realized how blind he must have been. I walked over to the door, draping my jacket over the back of it before going back to the table, sorting through my bag again for no reason. I could feel his gaze on me and it made me feel stuck, it made me feel like there was a giant spotlight on my head as he stared at me. 

"Clara..." he mumbled. 

"It's none of my business" I told him with a forced smile. "...really, it isn't. I was just wondering because you don't look happy right now and...this should make you happy...right?" my voice was slow and careful but my mind was on high alert as I faced away from him, looking through the fridge slowly. 

"Clara, nothing happened" he spoke up in a determined voice. 

I swallowed the glimmer of hope that rose inside my throat. "You don't owe me any kind of explanation, Corbin."

He leaned forward, his eyes pleading as he placed his hands on the table in front of me. "But I feel like I do, Clara...I just feel like I want...like I need you to know that nothing happened between us."

"Like I said" I opened a can of coke, hoping that it would make me feel less sick, "It isn't my business, you are allowed to do what you want. You aren't anyone's property."

"She came over to talk after our conversation, you were the one who said that we were finished, I-I didn't want you to go-" he pointed out desperately.