Dear Min Yoongi,
Where's the love you promised to cherish?
Where's the smile that makes me happy?
Where are the hugs and kisses you always gave me?
Everything disappeared, because of her.
The pain, sadness, hatred, anger. They were the only things I can feel.
It was not only her fault, you were in this too. 8 years. We've been together for 8 years. Have you forgotten our memories? Do you even love me?
I tried.. tried to make sure you're always happy, so you wouldn't leave me. I cooked for you, made sure you eat healthily. I did everything you asked me to do, just to please you.
You said you hated my cooking. I was hurt. But when I saw you eating them, all my sadness disappeared. Even though they will be discarded into the dustbin, at least you ate something.
I knew since the time you had your new job, something wasn't right. You started to ignore me, as if I never existed. I thought you were just tired from work. I tried to convince myself that everything was fine, but deep down, I knew it wasn't.
I missed you. I missed the old you. You've changed. Everything we built together was ruined. Our love, our shared moments, our precious memories, they're all gone.
Why did you do it? Why her? And why not me? Those are the questions I've been meaning to ask you.
But even if I did, there's no use. You.. you pushed me away. You went with her, your new lover. You said you didn't love me anymore.
I didn't believe you. I thought we could mend our relationship, I thought we could fix it, I thought even if you didn't love me anymore, I would do anything to make you love me again.
It was hopeless, you've fallen into her trap, you willed to be trapped deeper into her world. You left me alone, confused and frustrated. You are so cruel.
That girl.. she finally got you. With only some twisted words. She accused me of something I didn't do, she said I cheated on you. She showed you a picture of me kissing with a guy, and you trusted her. The picture.. it was photoshopped, even kids could tell it was fake. And then I realized, you've fallen out of love.
You slapped me hard, called me names. Whore. That was the name you used to call me. You shouted at me, you asked me to leave and never come back. And I did.
Without you, my life was miserable. I took sleeping pills because I wasn't able to get some sleep, even for a minute. I was sad, I took drugs to make me feel happy.
Do you know the homeless guy that always lingered in front of Starbucks? I didn't know he sells drugs, but he did. They were amazing. I love it, they made me happy, they made me forget about you. But not for long. I want to forget you forever, so I bought many. But I think it was too much.
Yoongi-ah, if you were here, I bet you're laughing at me right now. I looked miserable. Messy hair, eyebags under my eyes, I became thin. But I could care less.
I feel numb. I know, there's no reason to live anymore.
How could I live when my source of light is gone?
How could I live when my source of happiness is gone?
How could I live when my source of smile is gone?
Love, I hope she makes you happy, I hope she makes you show your gummy smile. That smile that I missed...
Please eat well, and don't work too hard. She's going to have a hard time waiting for you to come home every night, like how I felt. Don't drink too much coffee, it's not healthy.
Yoongi, my love, my heart, I missed you so much.
I have something to say to you, love.
I hope you choke on your coffee, you dipshit asshole.
Love,
Kim Ji Eun.
Yoongi laughed bitterly as he read her letter. It was given by her roommate.
She's gone now, he thought.
But he missed her too, it was his fault Kim Ji Eun died.
She died of an overdose. She took those pills. She took too much and Yoongi can't help, but blame himself.
...
I am quite confused how to end so I just end it randomly, this is actually inspired by my moody self and also thanks to the rainy day as an addition🙆.
