How can it go wrong? Everything we've built together, was ruined in just a blink of an eye.
' I love you ' no longer becomes the phrase I love the most, I despised it now, because of myself. What happened to us? No one knows, only me.. and you.
They said don't love someone too hard, or you will end up getting hurt. How foolish am I, not to believe it. How did everything change?
We were so perfect together. Sharing love, hugs and kisses. Those moments will never be forgotten. They were precious and I kept them deep inside my heart.
Do you remember our first kiss? I felt those sweet butterflies and shivers when our faces are near, my face was flushed. That day, I get to taste your lips for the first time, feel their softness. It was a sweet, innocent kiss as I fell deep into it and slowly leaning closer to kiss you back. I could feel my heart beating faster than usual. Is it weird to say that the feeling of your lips still lingered on mine, even when we are not kissing?
When we went on our first date, I was so excited that I had forgotten to bring my purse. You paid for me that night.
When I went to your house, I was so suprised that nothing was in the fridge. You told me you always eat healthily. You told me you were fine. No, you actually weren't fine. You lied to me so I wouldn't get worried. I was so disappointed with myself for burdening you, you used all your savings just for me. I broke into tears, apologising to you as you brought me into your soothing embrace.
You kept on whispering sweet nothings into my ear, calming me down. I asked you to come to my apartment and cooked you your favourite food. You declined it at first, but I insisted, until you gave up. You kept on praising my cooking, saying that you were so full. We both fell asleep on my bed, cuddling with each other.
There was once we had our first fight. I saw you with Jennie, your ex. You ignored me, became distant, you spent more time with her.
You didn't even know I was bullied by Jennie's friends all this time. Getting splashed with water, threats scratched on my desk, insulted everyday. That time, I've had enough. I needed someone to rely on, so I told you. But you didn't believe me, you believed her. You said words that hurt me, you said I overreacted and am childish. We fought and you slapped me, hard. I was hurt but you didn't care.
I packed my things and ran back to Busan. I went to live with my family. I was at peace but I couldn't deny the emptiness I felt in my heart. It was you who I needed, you were the only one who was able to fill the emptiness.
I got thousands of missed calls and messages from you. I ignored them all.
One day, I found you in front of my house, begging me to let you in. I ignored you again and asked you to go home.
It started to rain. I saw you still standing there, soaked and shaking. For once, I let go of my ego, grabbed an umbrella and brought you in the house. You had a fever. I was so worried that I cried.
When you woke up, you hugged me so tight, the word 'sorry' kept on coming out of your mouth.
When I cupped your face, your eyes were teary. I saw it in your eyes, you felt guilty. I kissed you softly, saying that I'm fine. You promised me it won't happen again. You caressed my cheeks softly, the place where you slapped me and kissed my cheek.
It was that time that I realised, you're my home.
But I broke our trust. I went with another guy. And as I walked to the altar, I saw you looking at me sadly. It was my fault. I married him because of my father. But i didn't love him. I should've declined my father's offer but he forced me and I did it just to please him.
When you left the church, I had a bad feeling. I ran, ignoring the calls from others as I searched for you.
But when I found you, you were about to jump off a bridge but I managed to grab your hand. I cried, asking you why did you do it. You said there were no purposes of you living anymore. You were crying, you tried to remove my hand from yours. I shouted, holding tighter, not wanting to let you go. But it slipped.. your hand slipped and you're gone.
Everything felt like a dream, the memories we shared together played back in my mind over and over like a broken tape. I cried hard, I blamed myself. There's nothing I could do anymore.
I lost you and the only thing you left was a letter on your bed. The guilt I felt in my heart was unbearable. I caused your death. And worst, I'm the reason why I lost you.
