It was raining heavily that morning. People were running around the streets, eager to find shelter. Some were walking leisurely, laughing happily with their family or partner, their umbrellas shielding them from the heavy rain.
Somehow, that day, I felt different from all these peopleㅡ I always have though. People were looking at me weirdly as I bumped into them, only following where my feet would take me to.
The truth is, I was confused. Confused about the world. Confused about how it worked. Even though 23 years had passed since I was born, I was still lost.
Is it true that everyone we love will go away? Leaving us with nothing but memories?
If not, then why had it always happened to me? Why do my loved ones always have to be the one who left first?
13 years ago, I lost my parents in a car accident. I was only ten back then, hugging my siblings who were sobbing loudly at my parents' funeral while they were being buried, only trying to console them. I knew it meant nothing because not a thing I said could bring them back... Nothing.
There was no one to comfort me, no one to hug me tightly and tell me that everything was going to be alright.
Luckily, my grandparents decided to take us in. They came a day after the funeral. I saw how they cried, feeling sorry for being late and not able to see my parents earlier.
Then we moved to our hometown, Daegu, the home of our grandparents.
They pampered us with so much love. For the first time in forever, I felt happy. But then, good things just never lasted. Everything started to crumble when my brother was diagnosed with a lung cancer.
We brought him to the hospital after he fainted at his school. My grandparents weren't rich, so we didn't have enough money for the surgery. I was 15 at that time, I tried to find as many jobs as I can for the surgery but I was too young.
Then he died. In my embrace.
He told me he was tired and was going to sleep. I knew the time had come. I made him promise me that he wouldn't leave. But he did, leaving me with nothing but sorrow.
I blamed myself for his death. If only I hadn't given up. I would've been able to save him. For days, I locked myself in my room. I skipped meals, skipped schools, I refused to go out.
My grandparents tried to assure me that it wasn't my fault, but I was too stubborn. I was the closest to my brother after all. I should've noticed the signs.
Days passed as I cried myself to sleep until a week after, I decided to move on. I didn't want to worry them anymore. So I started living my life normally...
Until both my grandparents died. My sister ran away from home when she was 17 and never returned. I had no one. I was broken.
I decided to go back to Seoul to find a job so I could support myself. I managed to make a living by working as a part-time photographer every weekend. It's a relief I learned photography back in high school. The pictures I took has been my source of income though they're not that amazing, it made me glad that many customers liked them.
I stopped by a park. A feeling of saudade washed over me at the familiar place. My childhood park. A moment when I used to come here with my family suddenly flashed before my eyes. I blinked back the tears that were threatening to come out.
I sighed, walking to the bench that was situated at the park and sat on it. I stared into space and smiled sadly. Gosh.. I miss them so much. Suddenly, I felt the rain stopped hitting me and a shadow cast over me. I looked up, seeing a girl holding an umbrella above me, preventing the rain from wetting me again.
"Are you okay?" she asked. I managed to scan her face fully before I was engulfed by the darkness.
When I woke up, I was on someone else's bed. I winced as my head throbbed painfully. I noticed there was a wet towel on my forehead. I glanced around the room in confusion, wondering where I was. Just in time, the door opened and the girl from before walked in with a tray of hot porridge, a glass of water and some medications.
I sat up and leaned against the headboard behind me, staring at her. She put the tray down on the night stand and sat beside me on the bed. She put her hand on my forehead but I flinched at the coldness.
She immediately yanked her hand to her side and bit her lip. "Uhm.. I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable. You fainted just now so I brought you here since I don't know where your house is. You have a very high fever so I took care of you. You are not okay yet though but I guess you want to go home already. Before you leave... eat this porridge I made," she was about to grab the bowl but I stopped her by taking her hand in mine.
"I'm not feeling uncomfortable. It's just that... your hand is so cold. Let me warm it up for you," I grabbed her other hand and sandwiched them both between my bigger hands.
"Thank you for taking care of me. I really appreciate that. It has been a long time since I've been taken care of, " I smiled while staring at our hands. Then I looked up at her, she was puffing through opened mouth and her cheeks were tainted with rose colour.
"I- uhh.. you-you're welcome.." she stuttered. I chuckled. "Cute."
Her cheeks went a darker shade of red and I laughed at her mortified face. We were engulfed by peaceful silence, my hands still wrapped around hers. Then I remembered something.
"What's your name?" I broke the silence.
"I'm Hyejin. Park Hyejin. Nice to meet you," she grinned while moving our hands up and down.
"Hello Hyejin, I'm Kim Taehyung. You can call me Tae. And nice to meet you too," I winked. She blushed again and gave me a shy smile.
"Now, Tae. Do you want to eat or not cause the porridge's getting cold," she glanced at the bowl.
"Right... "
"Can you eat by yourself?" she asked worriedly. I smirked at her question, pretending to pout and shook my head.
"Do you want me to feed you?" I nodded instantly.
"You poor baby." she grabbed the bowl and scooped the porridge, blowing it slowly. I stared at her pink lips and gulped.
"Say aaahhh... " she said and I mimicked her.
Since then, she's been the glue that has pieced my broken heart together, she's my source of happiness and she's everything to me. I am SO glad I met my lover, Hyejin.
...
IM BACK! sorry for the late updates. i hope u guys enjoy this!!!
