Son Ombre

Epilogue

My parents left this afternoon, with kisses and warm hugs they leaved us. I remembered Mother's words and thought of writing them in a special diary that I would devote only to my words and thoughts. I have heard of a lot of princesses and queens who have written in their private diary, and so far I haven't thought of writing a personal diary. I suppose that if I start writing it, it will sound like an endless love story. 

My mother told me that I was important to my people and that she also felt that way in a strange new country at first, and then she kissed my cheek and wished me all the best.

Father looked at me with a serious look without telling me anything more, just wishing me the best, and I bowed to my parents, feeling the shudder spreading all over me as their carriage pulled away into the forest that led out of the palace.

Peter and Harold walked around the yard together as I walked to go back to the palace, and then I met Joong-chan, who was standing with his hands behind his back.

"Peter?" I call him and he turns to me. His eyebrows raised in questioning look, his blue eyes staring into mine.

"I need to talk to you about something." I finally say. I thought he wouldn't have time for me, but this time, without saying anything, He just nodded as comes to me and we turn to the other side.

After we had moved away from where we were, in silence, we approached the cypress trees moving from the pleasant breeze and stopped there.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" Peter makes me look at him from the spectacular beauty of the cypress trees.

I nod.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you a question." I say, and he nods curiously, looking at me the way he did when we met on the balcony when the moon shone on both of us and we talked about our marriage.

"Before you left for Normandy, I met Sebastian, the Priest Sebastian."I watched Peter's unusual reaction. He tries to look normal but I can see the distortion of his face, and then he chuckles.

"I guess you already know what I'm going to ask."

- "I'll let you ask your question." He smiles at me.

How irritating.

"Why did you ask him to pray for me?"

"How is it possible that the answer to this question is not obvious?" His eyes narrow in incomprehension and his hands are on my shoulder, shaking me a little.

"Is it supposed to be obvious?" I ask him and he laughs.

And how much it makes me laugh that he laughs instead of answering me directly.

"Peter." I say in a serious harsh tone.

His face is serious and he looks at me.

"I asked him to pray for you for your health, so that one day you could have healthy, beautiful and happy children."

I cant believe it. again.

- "Well, I'm happy to have Sebastian so that he can pray for you."

"I don't need anyone to pray for me, Peter." I say, nervous enough to say it in the same tough tone, and he laughs.

- "Everyone needs somebody to pray for them, and its ok to pray for yourself too, if you know what I mean." His hand goes up to stroke my cheek but I raise my hand and grab it, pull it down.

He watches me do this, his eyes narrow in confusion and his brows clenched in confusion, he swallows his words.

"You want kids so much?" I ask him, and his blue eyes look at me with a look of hidden pain that has not been exposed to me, until now.