(This is a letter that I needed to get off my chest and share with you guys. Thanks.
Warning!!! THIS LETTER IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND GOES INTO SENSITIVE TOPICS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!)
I don't know how to begin this. I dont even know what I want to say because im so afraid that everything will become a jumble. But I can try my best.
Its 12 in the morning and I'm crying like a fool. I cant get you out of my head. I can't even stop thinking about how we used to laugh and smile. How we used to think everything was okay. As long as we stayed by eachothers side. Now this seems bittersweet. Because now I know this was just another empty, broken promise sculpted by your unbalanced hands. You're ready to destroy whatever isn't perfect, aren't you?
And still I fall for you. Still I'm someone who clutches on too much, because I have feelings too. I miss you still. Because feelings for someone don't simply go away...they fade. And even then, they're still there.
Of course I miss you. I miss you too much. I miss our talks and little ways we would communicate. I miss how we would be friends. Now that's wasted.
I don't understand. How could you forget what we once were? How many battles we fought together? Because you're someone who knows as well as I do that battles aren't easy to win, or fight. But what happened to by eachothers sides? Does it kill you to know you've lied?
Now you pretend that you're alone. Like no one cares - when in reality, you shut out the people who do care and say goodbye to people who wanted to care. And then you say that people leave you...honey, I think you're confused. Because no one left you. You drove them away! You can't blame them for that! Maybe if you had been nicer, kinder, someone who had actually cared about friends, people would care.
I still find myself sucking up to you. But at the same time, what problems have you had? You have a family. You pay 8,000 dollars just to go to a school. What makes you sad? Have you ever had to lose a family member? How about someone you loved? Oh, no, I can't ask you that, now can I?
I didn't even leave. You left. And now you want to say people don't bother to stay? How does that look on your part, hypocrite? How do you explain that?
I don't think you can say these things about yourself. You're an edgy teen, face it. You don't care about anyone but yourself. And maybe that's for the best. Because then people can't get under your skin as much. Oh, are you hurt? Well, so am I.
I was hurt from the moment you decided we couldn't be friends. Why? Was it because I was different? What was it? Because I wasn't as faithful as you? Because I didn't cut myself as much as you did? Because I didn't cry over stupid things like you did?
Were you jealous of Wattpad? Of Ice? Did she make you feel like you were replaced? Well, you were. And you are. Ice is the best sister and friend anyone could ask for. Was it Abby? Or Silv? Or Ashlyn? Or Since? Or Potato? Or Halle? Did they make you jealous? Does it make you sad to see that there's people who care about me and I don't need you anymore? How dare you abuse someones trust.
I see through your walls....Don't lie to me, dear. Because if you give me that sad look, I'll make you feel how I felt.
Now, you tell ME who wouldn't run.
