The pains of hunger consumed me. I struggled with a heavy heart. My stomach pained to be attended to. I rejected the last pleads of desperateness for even the smallest taste of food. My mind churned over and over in a dizzying spiral of distraught.
I had to give in. I just had to. My shaking hands reached for the closest snack I could find, a bag of pretzels. As I lifted one to my lips and let the salty flavor coat my tongue, I almost groaned in relief. My head turned away from the steaming sunlight that gleamed through my open window. The sounds of laughing birds taunting me.
It took effort. Eating took effort for me at this point, and I felt myself becoming a bother. My stomach seemed to bulge as it stupidly thought I was lost in a dry desert with no food to keep me alive. My aching hands held the piece of fat and glared down at it with burning rage.
Go away.
Go away.
Go away.
I'm torturing you to be skinny. Not to die.
I only allowed myself three of the large, crunchy pretzels. That salty flavor I missed so much. It had been such a short amount of time. I was becoming pathetic. I couldn't just sit around and be counterproductive. I was going absolutely nowhere. I would be fat forever. Soon, I would have to roll instead of walk.
Even when I stood from the hot comfort of my bed, I felt my weight weigh me down as if it was an anvil on my quivering legs. Each step I took reminded me of the skinny body I adored and sought after. Giving me enough motivation to put on my shoes and leave.
The birds taunted me louder now that I was outside. The girl in messy sweatpants and an old tee shirt must be pathetic. Covering her fat body with larger clothes to seem skinnier. They knew my every movement. The laughing and the chirping rang in my ears as my heavy feet carried me to a convenience store down the block.
The bell rang, making my body flinch in remembrance of the squawking birds that couldn't follow me past the doorway. I mentally scoffed. How dare they call me weak.
The young lady behind the desk gave me a warm greeting, my head turned in the direction of her high voice, my tired eyes boring holes into her cheerful expression. She coughed, looking away as she took the obvious hint.
It was just us in the small shop. My eyes gazed over the long aisles of refrigerated food over the back wall.
-flashback-
"This one!" My hands grabbed a cold mini cheesecake imported from Japan.
"No no, you'll get fat if you eat too much of those, Rose! Let's get some sandwiches." Nari protested, picking up a pair of two packaged sandwiches as she carefully read each label with a frown. She whined before setting them down. My eyes gave her a puzzling look. "They're 657 calories each!" She exclaimed loudly.
"So what? You're so skinny, you have nothing to lose. Live life a little." I giggled as my hands took another small cheesecake and a set of banana milks. Melon for Nari, strawberry for me. Our favorites. Nari laughed at me and picked back up the sandwiches as she rushed out of my sight. I shifted in my sneakers to try and get a better view of her but before I knew it, she was rushing back with two cups of spicy ramen.
"Let's live life a little more." She winked playfully.
-end of flashback-
YOU ARE READING
Thinspo {j.j.k.}
Fanfiction"He likes thin girls" Rose was a normal and happy girl, but she was always easily influenced. She never had many problems with her weight before she was introduced to a new yet popular student. Word spread across the school that he likes thin girls...
