"It was a total mess." Eunyeong explained, but couldn't hold back her laugh as she explained how her mom reacted to her returning home so late. Nari followed along with the story while scrolling through her phone, providing a few hums to show she was still listening to the giggling girl. Meanwhile, I stared straight at Eunyeong but couldn't make out a thing she was saying. My face blank as I reflected on the situation last night.
I picked up on the stopped sound of giggling, and I snapped back into reality by shifting my eyes slightly to glance into her honey orbs that showed sadness once realizing nobody was paying attention. She didn't have to say anything for me to speak up.
"I'm sorry Eunyeong, I'm not feeling so well today." I whispered my excuse, surprised at my own raspy voice as it's the first time I heard it since that night. My throat felt sore, and my hand reached up to gingerly touch and caress it. I shut my lips and looked down at my bag, removing my hand as the sound of her faint hum filled my ears. I reached into the bag between my folded legs to pull out my phone.
Eunyeong sighed as she felt defeated at the two of us in front of her, both on our phones and not paying any mind to her or each other for that matter. I took a quick glimpse to Nari who sat beside me, scrolling through her phone. I noticed she was on her international chatting app. Nari had been trying to learn English but it was the funniest thing watching her struggle to find a chatting partner. Usually her conversations only went as far as a 'hello'.
I glanced back to my own phone and sighed as I slowly gathered up my stuff, slipping my water bottle into my bag. As I stood, the girls finally glanced up at me in confusion. I answered their unspoken question.
"I forgot to feed my dog." I whispered again, my voice still involuntarily quiet. I caressed my throat one more time and furrowed my brows before shifting quickly to walk away, hitting the grass below me with each step. The three of us always hung out in the park under the same cherry blossom tree since we were younger, it became our safe space. I usually arrived before them since my home was just a short walk away from the park, so I had some time to sit alone. Recently, I've been really wanting some alone time to think. The fact that I forgot to feed my dog was like a blessing.
As I walked away, their chatting faded, my feet finally hitting the solid sidewalk below. I adjusted the bag on my shoulder as I walked slowly. I glanced around the empty road before deciding to walk slower and think.
Was all of this even worth it? I couldn't even imagine what it would be like if my eating habits became 'normal' again. I feared to gain back the weight I lost, even if it was a very small amount. I mean, the other girls at school must have eating disorders as well, they're all so skinny and I barely see them eat. At least not nearly as much as I do. But I wouldn't even call what I have a disorder. The word seemed off to me. Like it didn't belong. Surely, I was still healthy. Just dieting.
A smile played at my lips as I finally relaxed and looked up at the birds that flew in the hazy sky. I was going to be okay, as long as I did my research. I knew what I had to do. I began to sprint home now, my breathing loud and the pain in my side evident as my feet hit the hard pavement. I turned down the next street and straight up the stairs to my small home. I jerked open the door roughly, slamming it behind me and practically throwing my shoes.
I walked briskly to the kitchen and past my confused dog who only cared about the food that was about to be placed in her bowl. I poured out the food until it reached the top, rolling the bag shut, and slamming it into it's cupboard. I listened to the food being scarfed down and laughed to myself as I ran to my room cheerfully.
I practically pried my laptop open as I watched the screen light up with the Windows logo. I took a seat down in the spinning chair, whirling it once before stopping. Even though my stomach was completely empty, I still felt insanely nauseous. My hand gripped at my stomach shakily as the other one typed up:
"pro-ana forum"
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A/N: I know I haven't updated in a while but I hit MAJOR writing block. I have a ton of plans for this story, even though this chapter ultimately sucked... stay tuned !!
YOU ARE READING
Thinspo {j.j.k.}
Fanfiction"He likes thin girls" Rose was a normal and happy girl, but she was always easily influenced. She never had many problems with her weight before she was introduced to a new yet popular student. Word spread across the school that he likes thin girls...
