WORLD GONE MAD ➳ FTWD

v. HEADSPACE

(LATER ON IN THE NIGHTIME...)

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A woman came from behind Troy and laid out a plate in front of him that had a quesadilla on it and a plastic cup filled with an oddly colored liquid. "What is this?" He went to look up at the woman but she was already walking away from the table. Nick joined him and had a suspicious grin on his face. "Look, I don't drink." He told Nick. "What do you mean you don't drink?" Nick never really thought about the person Troy was before the apocalypse but he never thought he was shy to alcohol. "I mean I don't drink." Troy looked nervous. "I got a head start, so you got some catching up to do," Nick glanced around to see if anyone was watching them. He then lightly pounded his fist on the table and unclenched it, revealing about 3 or more pills. Troy looked at them. "Really?" Troy was starting to get on edge. "I don't— I'm not gonna need this." He shoved the plastic cup towards Nick. "Come on, Troy. This is our last day here you said it yourself." Troy had no comeback, he was starting to feel a little bit pressured. "It's not a good idea." Troy bit down on his quesadilla. "Well, I saved your life. You owe me." Nick stared at Troy and swallowed down a pill. He had a cunning look on his face. "Drink your milk." He exhaled and smiled. Troy looked around nervously for people eyeing them. "Okay, okay, okay." He said quietly. He picked up a pill and showed it to Nick. "Here you go." and then threw it in his mouth, picked up the cup and downed the liquid in seconds.
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Nick and Troy were trying to steady themselves as they roamed the trade center for whatever the hell Nick was looking for. Troy was anxious and felt like everyone was watching him like a hawk. His eyes kept twitching and his palms were sweaty. "Come along, Troy." Nick continued to lead Troy into the entrance of a bar. "Buenas Noches," Nick said to a man behind the bar counter. "Welcome to El Matadero, my fellow Americans." The man had a serious yet playful undertone. "How can I be of assistance?" He asked the boys. Nick took his time. "Well, I was told you're the man with the things." The man nodded his head and smiled. "You were told correct. What sort of things are you looking for?" The man asked. Meanwhile, Troy was still feeling anxious and queasy. He just wanted to get the hell out of there already. "All the things." Nick's voice fell soft and giddy. "Hey, easy, easy." Nick ignored Troy and he started to wonder if Nick was just doing this out of spite or if he actually wanted to have some "fun" before they were to head off tomorrow in search of Madison and the others. Laughter was echoing around Troy. The man sighed and bent down behind the counter and pulled out a tray of drugs. "We have heroina, morfina, cocaina, anfetamina..." Nick leaned over the counter and interrupted the man. "Nah..." But the man stayed persistent. "...codeina." Nick spoke firmly. "Can't go down, we need to go up." He pointed towards the ceiling. "Do you really want up?" The man was taken back. Nick formed a devilish smile on his face and said nothing. The man returned a smile, put the tray back and grabbed a jar from atop the shelf. "Let's just get what you need and let's get out of here." Troy urged. Nick, once again, ignored him and was too interested in what the man was grabbing on top of the shelf. The man returned to the counter and set 2 shot glasses in front of the boys, along with one spoon. "Okay." Nick began to get angsty. "This is locus coeruleus." "What the hell is that?" Troy already looked disgusted. "It's the nucleus from the brain stem. Pure adrenaline. As up as up gets. Enough to wake the dead." The man cackled as he picked 2 from the jar with the spoon. "How much does a hunk of brain cost these days?" Nick asked, fidgeting his fingers. "For you, my friend, it's free." Nick smirked and gazed up at him. "Nada es gratis." "Whose glands are these?" Troy asked. "Shall we say pigs?" The man shrugged. Nick was having a blast but Troy thought this was no laughing matter. "Okay, come on, let's go, let's go." He was trying to get Nick to follow him but he wouldn't give in. "Let's eat pigs." Nick told Troy and ate the gland without hesitation-- or any look of disgust. Laugher and chatter were echoing and when Nick thudded the shot glass back on the counter it rang through Troy's ears. Troy looked around the room and could feel people's eyes on him. He felt heavy, hot, and pressured. He didn't want to look like a coward of all things so he bottled up his emotions the best he could and ate the damned thing.
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Nick clasped his hands onto the bars connected to the wall. He was panting and his heart was beating rapidly. He lifted himself up and climbed over. He felt like he had superhuman strength. Apart from Nick, Troy was terrified and felt fear like he never had before. He tried to pull himself up over the bars just as Nick did but something in him was holding back. He aggressively whispered. "Nick! Wait up!" He pulled himself together and climbed over the bars to join Nick. That bastard is still ignoring me. He thought to himself. "Nick, Nick, you're gonna--" Troy ran to Nick. "What?" Nick asked with no care in the world. "I'm gonna have a heart attack." Troy clung to Nick tight. They both began laughing as Troy bent over, trying to catch his breath. "I'm gonna have a heart attack." "No, you don't fight it, man. It makes it worse. Just ride with it." Nick laughed and held onto Troy. Troy felt like his entire body was blazing up inside. Nick had his arm over Troy and helped him steady himself. "What do you- what do you mean "Ride with it."? This is just like another... Tuesday for you, huh?" Troy said. "You know, the sad thing, Troy, is you will never feel freer or more yourself than when it's 5:00 in the morning and the sun's about to rise and you're out of your mind." He motioned his hands over his head and couldn't contain his laughter. "Oh, God... Yo, N-Nick? Nick?" Nick was mumbling gibberish and walking ahead of Troy. "Nick, wait up, wait up." He heard snarls coming from a truck beside them. That's when they spotted a horde about to come up in front of them. "Wanna try something?" He jerked Troy towards the truck. He saw this as a golden opportunity. Right place, right time. Nick opened the truck door, grabbed the walker's head and bashed it in the door with force and malice. The noise was too loud and Troy was terrified. "Whoa, Nick! Nick, what are you doing?" Nick let go of the door and sank his hands into the blood of the walker. He went over to Troy and wiped the blood on his face. Troy lightly pushed Nick away and became intrigued with what he was doing. "Wipe it on thick, as much as you can." Nick covered his face and shirt in blood. "You gotta walk quiet. Stare at the space between atoms." He whispered. Nick ran towards the horde and glared literal death in the eye. He embraced the moment and took it all in. The odor, the sight, his and the walker's movements. He walked slow and loose with a menacing look on his face. Troy was reluctant to join him but he wasn't just going to leave Nick in peril. "Nick, Nick!" Troy was sloppily covered in blood and tried his best to blend in as well as he could. Nick was frozen in place, but not in fear. Their hearts were jolting and they felt different emotions. Troy caught up with Nick very slowly. "I can't go back." Nick wasn't whispering anymore. The horde was walking past them and Troy moved closer to Nick in an attempt to make him keep his voice down. "I can't go back with her." Nick's voice got louder as a walker nearly touched elbows with Troy. "Shh, okay. Shh." He gently tugged Nick closer and hugged him. "I can't go back with her." Nick kept repeating. "Shh, Shh." Troy noticed that Nick kept looking around, unable to keep still. He placed his hands on Nick's face and lightly stroked Nick's cheek with his thumb. Troy kept shushing him, but Nick didn't acknowledge it until he felt Troy's lips brush against his. Nick's eyes were fixed on Troy's so hard that it began to take his mind off of the nonsense he'd been saying and make him feel other pushed back emotions.  They were so close that their noses were touching. On the verge of possible death, submerged in a horde of walkers and invisible but also more exposed than ever... Troy never felt so alive or more anxious and nervous in his life.  All he knew was that he needed to get Nick to shut the hell up so he could save both of their asses. And it worked, too. The horde passed but they held their position on the road. "I've got you." Troy whispered softly. Their lips almost collided with each other because of Nick's stumbling. They were both focused on each other, astounded and enraptured. Nick was drowning without being in water. Troy inhaled and exhaled slowly, loosening his grip on Nick. He stepped away and looked at him with drowsy eyes. They stood in silence for a few moments, taking in what happened. Troy's lips were protruding, he was trying to think of something to say but it was impossible. He turned his head precariously away from Nick and walked away. Nick wanted so badly to race towards him and say something to ease both of their minds, but Nick could feel his cheeks burning up. His chest felt heavy and he was breathing unevenly. He wouldn't have been able to say anything that made sense.
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" The connection between them made all the sense in the world, but there was something more to them than a blissful bond. It was much more significant than that. They push back everything, they hide their feelings, and they wait for the other to take action. This is what doesn't make sense, is their love for each other. "

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SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS CHAPTER:

i. headspace - thomston | ii. frzzn - ozzie | iii. friends - chase atlantic | iv. bad together - dua lipa | v. closer - majik | vi. stoned on you - jaymes young

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Hey guys! Writing this chapter wasn't hard at first because I was following a scene that took place in FTWD, in the middle it got a little bit frustrating because I lacked motivation, but when I took a step back and gave myself a well-deserved break... it was worth it. I had so much fun writing the last few paragraphs of this chapter and I even gave myself butterflies at the thought of Troy & Nick's interactions. I hope it gave you some too! Let me know your reactions/thoughts in the comments below! Every vote, comment, & recommendation means the WORLD to me.

Thank you.