WORLD GONE MAD ➳ FTWD

xi. DEATH OF ME

pre-apocalypse

amara mayer

Amara's mother passed away in her sleep from terminally ill cancer. It was devastating for the Mayer family and Amara couldn't cope like an average person should. She was extremely close to her mother and cared for her when she was on her deathbed. The morning that their mother passed, Amara was the first to wake. Her morning routine was checking on her mother and bringing her breakfast in bed. When Amara was finished preparing her mother's breakfast she walked into her mother's room and suddenly felt a drop in temperature. She could feel it in her gut that something was not right.

"Mother?" She asked. But Evony gave no response.

Amara fixed her eyes on her mother's stomach to see if she was breathing, and then slowly bent down to check her mother's pulse. The house was so silent that Amara could hear her own heart rapidly beating as she placed her fingers on Evony's neck. "Oh, no..." Amara's lips were quivering and she began to shake. "Elias!" She implored her big brother's name repeatedly, and when Elias woke to his sister's painful screams, he knew what had happened. She was sobbing and on the edge of having a panic attack when he found her. She kept repeating over and over again "It's going to be okay." To the dead body where her mother's soul used to live. "Mara, it's going to be okay. Shh." Elias grabbed her and held her in his arms and she held onto him tight. Amara tried to speak to him but the words couldn't leave her mouth, it was too hard to talk and it pained her so much. "I didn't get t-to say goodbye." She looked up at Elias and he felt her sorrow. It was unendurable. "Shh. Mother knew how much you loved her, Amara. Believe me, she knew." She buried her face in his shoulder and he stroked her head.

The days after Evony Mayer's death were agonizing. It was time for the funeral that Amara helped her father plan. She'd been a mess ever since she found her mother dead. She began to have insomnia and when she did sleep she would have night terrors. Elias would wake up to find Amara screaming in anguish. Something about crows eating at her and watching her mother rise from the ground and drag her down to hell. They were horribly detailed and Elias felt nothing but pain for his beloved little sister. He wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her from the cruelty and sadness of the world.

Amara tried her best to keep herself put together for the funeral. She would look over and over again at the list of duties she had to make sure the floral arrangements were perfect, that they ordered the right casket, and that her eulogy was perfected to its very core. She kept herself busy and intact. The reception was stunning and just the way she wanted it to be. There were bluebonnet flower arrangements and keepsakes of Evony's that laid next to a picture of her near the casket. When it was time for Amara to speak at the altar, she held back tears and stayed strong for her mother. The room was quiet but she could hear faint sniffles from distant relatives. She stood in place for a few minutes before collecting her thoughts and softly clearing her throat. "My mother was a brave and intelligent woman. She inspired me to work hard and to never give up. When she taught me Archery, I remember we had been practicing for days and my arms would always get tired of aiming at the target over and over again. I'd get upset because I thought I wasn't good enough to accomplish my goal. That's when my mother said to me 'Amara, you must take it one day at a time. You underestimate yourself, my little raven. Du bist ein Mayer. We do not give up," Amara's voice started to crack as she continued. "And then we went home and watched my favorite film with my brother and father. It was the best and most memorable day of my life." Tears were rolling down her eyes and she was gripping the stand. She tried to continue but she just couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry." She placed her hand over her mouth and walked out of the building. Elias quickly mended the situation by declaring that it was time for his family to take the casket to the cemetery and put their mother to rest.

Amara, Elias and their father buried Evony by themselves. They didn't want to share this very intimate and meaningful moment with anyone else. The family members and friends who attended were very distant nonetheless, they respected their decision and gave them their condolences. Amara held Elias' hand as they walked over to put their mother in the ground. Their father had been quiet the entire time during the reception and didn't even speak for Evony. Elias feared that his father would start to drink himself away like he used to do back in Elias' younger days.

They were all holding bluebonnets to lay on Evony's casket with shaky hands. Elias started off with a saying their family often used when someone had passed away. "In peace, may you leave the shore," Elias laid the bluebonnet on his mother's casket and stayed holding Amara's hand. She went next. "In love, may you find the next," Her hand was trembling as she laid the bluebonnet on the casket. Amara and Elias looked to their father to continue. He looked down at the bluebonnet and twirled it around between his fingers. "Safe passage on your travels," He tossed the flower at Evony's casket. "May we meet again." They all spoke together. Aksel looked into his children's eyes that were full of despair and melancholy. He went over to the pair and wrapped them up in his arms.

P.S

Do you  like when I insert gifs into the middle of the story, too, or do you prefer making your own visuals in your head? Let me know in the comments. <3

P.S.S

Do you guys also like how I sort of break the story like this with the chapters? How I had a trick chapter before my previous one, and then gave it a break by putting in some of Amara's backstory and then continuing that backstory into this chapter? I hope I'm making sense, haha. I stayed up late to finish this chapter because I was really hoping to get one published tonight. Thank you for reading!