WORLD GONE MAD ➳ FTWD

ix. THE CORVIDS

It's been a week since Nick and I escaped with James. I've learned a lot about him in the short time since we met. I can't speak for Nick, I don't think he's very fond of James, but he's been tolerating him. I learned about the stadium's defenses, it's members, and the leader, Amara Mayer. She has an intricate mind and there's this mysteriousness surrounding her aura that just fascinates me. James has told me about their journey to the stadium and what life was like for them before the apocalypse, not all of the details, but enough to know that they have been through hell and back. Amara and Elias lost their mother and father a few months before the apocalypse... Even their life before all of this happened was a nightmare.

"What are you writing?" Amara startled me and my pencil shifted causing the ridged tip to break. I get so lost when I begin to write that  I didn't even notice her presence in the corner of my eye.

"Oh, uh, it's just observations. I mark things down that will matter... later." I gave her a crooked smile and placed my journal faced down on my lap.

"You know," She smiled briefly and walked over to sit next to me. "The most dangerous people are the ones who listen, think, and observe. My mother told me that." She looked down and kept her eyes off mine. "You sayin' I'm dangerous?" I tilted my head, trying to look at her directly. "All I'm trying to say is that intelligence is lethal." She had a blank face. There was something about her smile... it was brittle with a little twist to it. She cleared her throat and sat up straight. "How are you enjoying your stay?" 

"The stadium... it's stunning. Everything it has to offer, the people. Your group is loyal to you and I admire that." I dreamed I could be apart of something so special as The Corvids. Amara quietly giggled and looked up at the evening sky. "Loyalty doesn't always come easy. My people believe in me and I believe in them. We're stronger together so we'll survive together." She looked to me. I was pondering about several loose thoughts in my mind and Amara stood up to get my attention. "You belong here, Troy. This can be your home now." She smiled and walked away. I wanted to say something, to thank her for her friendliness, but I didn't know how to react to such warmth. I gazed upon the clouds and felt the urge to drift off into sleep but the voice inside my head telling me to write kept me from doing so. I took a butterfly knife from my pocket and sharpened the pencil once more.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a little skeptical about these people. I can't help but be, it's something that's too good to be true. I feel myself being drawn in further after learning more and more about The Corvids. Perhaps it's the mystery behind Amara and her group, or because I'm in a place where nobody knows my name or the treacherous things I've done. I'm not sure which, maybe both. Nick is more skeptical than me. He's been out into the wasteland and has witnessed much more than I. I can't help but feel as though he's hiding something deeper from me. He'll admit to how he feels about these people and the reasons behind his skepticism, but I can see it. He doesn't want to be here with me, he want's to be with his family. I promised him that I would be with him on his travels to finding his family but a part of me can't help but want to just stay here. I don't think I could even bring myself to watch him leave. It frightens me to think about how much I

I hesitated writing those next few lines. I almost couldn't stop my hand from writing the truth inside of my heart.

I care about him.

I woke up the next day to find that I fell asleep on the seats. I quickly woke up and checked to see if anyone had taken my journal. I scoffed and nearly fell off of the seats trying to reach for my journal. I panicked for a second because when I found the journal, it was under a different seat and not in the place I'd originally left it. I began going through a list of theories in my head. Okay, maybe it just fell out of my hand as I fell asleep. Or what if Amara came back and decided to read it? I had chills at the thought of anyone reading my most personal thoughts. I picked my journal and knife up and headed back to the field and then a thought hit me. What if Nick wandered off looking for me and he read it? My stomach dropped and I tried to stop jumping to conclusions. "Hey, Troy!" A corvid greeted me as I walked past the crops and onto the stairs.

This is what belonging could feel like.

I walked up the stairs leading to a place where everyone would eat. They sat on benches drinking water and eating breakfast. "Morning, Otto." Elias grinned and handed me a tray. "Morning." Being welcomed was still new to me and I knew it would take time to adjust to it all. I grabbed my food and sat next to James on a bench. Everyone was eating when Elias started chatting. "Did you know that Otto is a german name?" Elias bit into his meat and looked to me. "Uh, no, I didn't."

"I was just wondering, because Amara and I are German." 

"Really? Ever been?"

"To Germany? I'm sure our family had been at some point. But, no, we were in no position to leave home." Elias spoke roughly. Like he'd been drinking.

"Why?" I titled my head, intrigued.

"Otto means rich. Wealth, prosperity. Let's just say we didn't have that." Everyone stayed silent and Amara stared at Elias. "But James did." Elias stated.

"I did. At one point, and then I lost nearly everything. And then all of it when the dead began to walk, but the past doesn't really matter anymore, Elias." James' voice was stern.

"Right."

I could feel the tension wrapping around my throat.

"Elias." Amara whispered firmly under her breath.

Elias looked around at us and sighed, "Excuse me, I have work to get back to." and then he left.

I awkwardly continued to eat my food and look away.

"Alright. I'm done here." James got out of his seat and quickly put his tray up. "I'm going to work on the barriers."

"I'm gonna go look for Nick." I cleared my throat and walked away. 

- NICK'S POV -

I wiped the dirt off of my face with some of the water I had. I was helping with the crops while a corvid helped me learn about them. I thought it could be useful for future use when I'm back with my family. The sun was blazing, the heat coursed through me and the cool breeze hit just right through my shirt. "Nick!" I heard a voice from across the stadium. "What's up?" Troy asked. "Thought I'd learn a few things while we're here." I hauled the hoe into the dirt and did everything the corvid told me to do. "Right. Can we talk for a second, Nick?" Troy was breathing heavily and in more of a sweat than I was in. "Sure." I tossed down the hoe and headed away from the crops with Troy. "Are we just going to pretend that there's nothing going on with us?" I felt my stomach drop. I'm not ready to confront this if he's about to say what I think he's going to say. "I know there's something you're not telling me, Nick." I just stared at him, frozen. "Why don't you like this place? Talk to me." I felt the painful tension in my chest leave and I felt relieved... for a moment. He was gonna try and convince me to stay. I knew that I'd have to reject him. "Troy, for once I actually want to find my family. It's always been me drifting away from them, running closer and closer towards death. Embracing it, even. I'm done doing that. All that matters to me now is finding them." I tried to keep a strict tone. "I have to leave. If you want to stay here... I don't blame you. But I am going." Troy  stayed silent and stared off into the sky. "I just..." He noticed just how well Nick knew him. "I want to stay here with you. I need to make sure you're safe and I can't do that if you're out there."