WORLD GONE MAD ➳ FTWD

ii. MY SUICIDE NOTE

{ *DISCLAIMER* }
Hey so I just wanted to clarify with you readers that we jump cut from chapter one all the way to the scene where they're about to blow up the dam. (Not that big of a jump cut, like a few hours after Troy was almost killed.
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Everyone was being held at gunpoint and felt on edge by proctor's men. They were about to give up all hope they had left in them, shooting each other glances that whispered I love you, goodbye. The tension was real now more than ever. Proctor John let them say their goodbyes for only a quick minute. They all hugged each other with eyes full of regret and their fists clenched. Nick went up to Victor, hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Nick returned back to his spot against the fence and Victor was slowly turning around to face the proctor. There was a long pause while he gave everyone a deceiving look. "There's an endgame here, Proctor. One on which you did not plan." Victor said. The proctor turned around to face Victor and placed his arms on his hips. "You really do talk too much." He sighed. "Lola and Daniel didn't have enough guns to defend the dam, so they wired it with explosives." Victor spoke very quickly. He's very good at doing that— and negotiating his way out of practically everything, especially death. "Bullshit." The proctor froze in place. "Top to bottom. C-4 to build the dam, C-4 to take it down." He said sarcastically with a smirk on his face. Proctor John didn't know whether or not he should believe what's coming out of Victor's mouth."Take his tongue already." The proctor told his men and Victor's smirk quickly faded away from his face. Proctor's men were heading towards Victor and he was slowly backing up with his hands midway in the air. "No more lies, Proctor." Victor began searching through his coat pocket, feeling around for the detonator but he couldn't find it. He started to quickly panic. One of Proctor's men caught up to Victor when he stopped backing up, grabbed him and twisted his arms behind his back as if a police officer was arresting him.

"Strand." A sudden voice appeared from what felt like came out of nowhere. It was Troy. He was silent until now, they all were. Troy took the detonator out of his pocket and waved it up in the air. "Says it's armed." He said blatantly. Troy looked at Victor who was baffled and still being restrained by Procter's men. "Hmm," Troy was observing the detonator and lifted a cover that was over the second switch. "Oh look— here it says detonate." He knew this already, but he wanted to show them that it was real. He placed his finger under the switch and raised it in the air once again. He had a blank face. The proctor looked like he had just seen a ghost but he tried his best to remain unfazed. "What's your play, Troy?" Troy glanced around the area looking from the Proctor to Madison, Alicia, and Nick. He then pointed the detonator towards one of Proctor's men who was now aiming his gun at Troy. "Tell him to put his gun down." Troy demanded. "Put your gun down." The Proctor had no hesitation. Troy stepped closer towards the man as he slowly lowered his gun and moved out of Troy's way. Troy went to the other side of the fence and looked down at the lake. He took in a deep breath walking back and forth from one side of the fence to the other very slowly like he was contemplating something. "Madison, Nick, and Alicia are going to take a Zodiac across the lake." Troy pointed towards the lake. "Troy, what are you doing?" Nick asked, but Troy completely ignored his question. "Just go as far upriver as you can." Troy didn't look at them while he was talking. "We'll pursue them." The proctor said with little to no confidence. Troy cut him off before he could speak any more useless words. "They'll have a head start." He smiled. "Troy, come on man, just come with us." Nick pleaded. "He can't do that. The detonator has a range." Proctor told them while still keeping his eyes set on Troy. "If you go with them you lose your leverage, right?" He asked. Troy chuckled. "I'm not negotiating, John. This is my suicide note." Troy said it as if it was a weight lifted off of his shoulders. A tension that was cut and finally released into the air. Nick looked at Troy devastatingly.

 "I'm going out the way my father should have. Sacrificing himself for his people and for his family." Troy walked over to Madison and looked at her dead in the eye. "I know you won't forgive me for all I've done to you and your family, but this is my gift to you. My death." Madison said nothing. She didn't feel sympathy for Troy. She felt relieved but almost angry that she would not be the one to kill him. "Can't say I'm grateful." She told Troy, faking a smirk. Troy mumbled something under his breath while smiling and moved on to Nick. He gave Nick a tight, warm hug and neither of them held back their emotions. "Take care of yourself, Nicky." Troy gave him a pat on the back. "Always do." Nick said. "Now go. Go because you don't have a choice." Troy asserted himself and nobody hesitated on taking orders from him... except for Nick. He only hesitated for a moment because he cared about his best friend. He wasn't about to watch Troy die like he could have earlier when his mom was about to kill him. Nick would beat himself up for this for the rest of his days. He couldn't save Troy, not this time. Madison and Alicia were running towards the lake already. "Go, Nick. I don't need help anymore, I'm done." He sounded tired. Tired of the apocalypse, of killing and running— tired of breathing and working so hard to survive just to be left with nothing in the end. Nick nodded and proceeded to run after his family. "You too, Strand." He pointed to Victor. "They'll need you too." Victor thanked Troy and caught up with Nick. "It's alright, we'll find em later." The Proctor reassured his men. "You got no way of surviving this." Troy stated the obvious. "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. Many a slip between a cup and lip." He walked closer towards Troy. "I'm interested to see how this all plays out, though." Troy raised the detonator higher as the proctor kept coming closer. "Not well for you, either way, I'm afraid." He gave Troy a conniving look. "I don't mind dying. Really, I don't." Troy slowly shook his head. "And I sure as hell don't mind taking you all down with me." The proctor chuckled at Troy's response. "That detonator even real?" He asked.

Madison, Alicia, and Victor worked their way onto the Zodiac as Nick was untying the ropes. Alicia was trying to start the engine but it kept sputtering. "Alicia, hurry!" Madison shouted. "I'm trying, I'm trying!" Alicia was frantic. Nick pushed the Zodiac away from the deck as Alicia got the engine started. "Nick, what are you doing?" Madison yelled at him. "I have to do this, Mom." He shouted back and immediately darted towards the hilltop near the lake. He met up with Walker, panting with his hands on his knees. Walker was already walking away from his sniping position when Nick stopped him. "Wait!" Victor had Walker as a backup plan in case proctor's men tried to stop him, but plans changed and it was Troy who took Victor's place. Nick knew of Victor's plan, but not Troy's. He knew Walker wouldn't want to save Troy, but he had to somehow convince him to. "I need you to save Troy for me." Walker was almost offended by Nick asking him to do such a thing. "And why would I do this?" He asked Nick. "To ensure that the dam blows up and takes Troy with it." He was out of breath. "Look, Proctor's men are closing in on him and if you don't stop them then my family won't get far away enough from the explosions. So, please... can you help them?" Nick was practically on the ground and begging for Walker to help. Walker quietly agreed and began sniping Proctor's men one by one.

All of the sudden the engine started to sputter again and it stopped. Alicia was trying so hard to get it back up and running but nothing was working. The proctor looked down at the lake. "A squandering. You blow the dam up too soon and your friends don't make it. Didn't consider that quite, did you?" He smiled at Troy. Proctor's men started moving closer and closing Troy off so he had nowhere to run. The Proctor reached his hand out for Troy to give him the detonator. "End of the road, Troy. Give me that device." He demanded, getting angsty. Troy backed up against the fence with his grip tightening around the detonator.

Alicia got the engine going again but they weren't going to make it in time. "Come on, let's go!" Victor shouted. Madison felt utterly defeated. She felt defeated by The Proctor, Troy, Nick, but most of all she felt defeated by the universe. She's sure everyone has since the day the world went to shit, buut this was a different kind of feeling. She was tired of losing Nick, losing sanctuary and good people. Madison is a fighter and doesn't give up easily. She puts herself back together for her family and right now, Alicia needs her to be strong.