Ink

six

The next time I wake up, I'm not actually awake. Again, I'm outside of my body, which is pale, and stiff, and broken. It looks as if you touch me, I would snap right in half.

Maybe I would.

I turn my attention away from me, and cry ghost tears, I didn't want to go. Sure my life is a mess, but at least find my soulmate first.

I hear the door click, and I see Tobias come in, and he looks at my limp body, and sits in a chair next to it. And he just stares at my empty body, and I feel sadness. And I don't know why, but I just do.

I wonder if Christina is okay. I hope so. I feel as if this is all my fault, and that makes me a terrible person, I don't deserve to live. She does, and if she is dead because of me, then I have to die.

But I need to know first.

Because I will miss her hair, her brown eyes, her dimples, her smile, her mouth. Her personality, and all of our memories.

Then she'll be a memory.

And I can't live with that. Would anyone be able to? I watch Four, or Tobias I guess, keep staring, and it seems like he's whispering something, while he has his hands folded in his lap. But then out of nowhere, a rush of sadness flies through me, and I start crying.

And when I look up to his face, he's crying too. And out of all the years I have known him, I've never seen him cry. Not even when his own mother died.

I walk up to him, in my ghostly figure, and sit down in the empty chair next to him. And I grab his hand, even though it doesn't move, he shivers a little bit. And maybe he noticed me.

But I smile, and I look at him, and he's smiling. But he's staring at me, well, my body.

And that body of me, that I don't think of me any more, because I've changed, for the worse. Just me and my thoughts for a while, and they aren't good thoughts.

But what he's looking at, is me, and he's smiling.

And I'm moving.

Very, very slowly.