Rebels Never Smile

June

June: The Last Few Days

Elvis, was a sensitive boy, who built a gate in his mind to block his feelings. He was like a chihuahua, who barked to make sure their voices was heard. To make sure that others knew who and where they were. And to make sure that others could not see the fear behind their eyes. Elvis can break as easily as dandelions in the wind. And that's what happened. It must've came to a surprise to him since he had never been spoken to that way before and done nothing about it. He had never done anything he didn't have to do for someone else's approval. And to hear that his hard work was work nothing, shattered his ego. Distressed from the disapproval of his father and the pity in his mothers eyes, we ran to a burger joint to ease his nerves. Although he didn't say it, he was hungry, tired and overwhelmed.

I excused myself to the bathroom to stop the pitiful gazes I kept throwing at him. I don't understand why he didn't fire back at the man and instead stood stunned there in the middle of the stage, bear and vulnerable. I had to keep myself strong for him. I knew that we had latched ourselves onto each other, and that if one of us were to fall into despair, the other would fall into a state of constant self inflicted guilt. I didn't feel like crying. I was tired of doing so and instead I gazed at myself through the mirror, fixing my uncooperative hair, trying to make myself presentable for Elvis. I must've taken a long time because when I came back, our food was set and Elvis had an empty plate with a cigarette on it.

I sat across from him and took a sip of his Pepsi. He didn't notice though because if he did he probably would've snatched it right out of my hands. I called him twice and on the third call, he gave me a blank stare. I rose my eyebrows and he gave me a crooked smile making me melt. Take the most beautiful man and put him beside Elvis and I wouldn't look break the stare to look at him. I cleared my throat and tore my eyes away, gluing them onto my plate. " Where'd that cigarette come from?" I asked. " A man was just here." He said through a mouthful of food. He swallowed some and chuckled " he said he could make me famous as hell." I pursed my lips and looked at him in disbelief. He glanced at me and waved me off. " During the audition did you see a man in the back, a big one, puffin on a cigar?" He described with his hands. Thinking back, I did see someone in the back watching Elvis through narrow eyes, whose coat looked to small for his big boned body. I nodded and he continued " He just came by, I don't know how he found us but he told me he could show me how to live in the big house and that he could take me so high, I could touch the stars." His voice said in awe. I smiled, happy. " He liked your audition." His eyes looked at me through his lashes. " I don't know about that. It's probably just a line, and I ain't biting." " No, Elvis, give it one last shot." I said. He shook his head. " Elvis-" " Did you not see what happened earlier? Were you not there? I don't wanna go through that type of shit again June!" He yelled. I looked around before saying " So that's it? Your just gonna give up?" He chuckled sarcastically. " There was never anything to give up on, there was nothing there."

I shook my head stubbornly and said " You don't know what you have Elvis. You have a talent and you don't know it. I know it. Sam knows it. Hell, even a damn stranger knows it." I pointed to the door. " But if your gonna drown in your own damn pity, don't expect me to drown with you. I won't hang around and watch you feeling sorry for yourself." I ended as I stood up to leave. I started to walk away when he yanked my hand. " Let go." I spat. " You're not done with your food." He quietly said. A tiny bit of my conscious felt bad for wasting Elvis' hard earned money but my stubbornness drowned it out. " You eat it." I said. His face contorted in anger and pain. " Please." He pleaded. " Sit down. Please?" He said. Angered at the fact that I couldn't walk away when he pleaded I noisily sat down and huffed. We both sat quietly. Then he leaned over and held my chin up. " What in the world would I do without you?" He whispered to me. I stubbornly rolled my eyes. He got up and walked me to the door, quietly walking beside me. " You really think I should do it again?" He whispered. I glanced at him and he stared at me with fear and anticipation. I nodded. He smiled and sighed, pulling me under his long warm arm. He looked at the sky and said " Alright." He looked down and kissed my nose. " Alright." he whispered again.