Camren Oneshots

Hear Me Sing (And Maybe You'll Let Me In)

Oh look, another draft. I think this lacks feelings but.. meh. I'd someday be able to write efficiently, someday. I rated this tolerable, hope it isn't too.. cheesy.

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Once a person is subjected to pain of a broken heart, their immediate response is to shield their hearts from being hurt again. A protective shield is enforced, shaped in the body of a cold exterior and a colossal wall no one could breach without the person breaking it themselves. Like a newborn baby clam, their heart is soft. Gentle. Fragile. Open to anyone who would dare squish the little thing to death but like any other clam, an exoskeleton begins. Forming into a hard, indestructible shell, protecting the fragile piece in its rigid exterior. And once that bivalve opens up, a rare piece of jewelry is found, a piece that no other being could buy once given wholly. A fragile piece entrusted upon the hands of the receiver to never be hurt again. Never be stomped again. Never be broken.. again.

Like any other soft-hearted person, Camila loved truly. Unbridled. Unconditionally. Just for it to be abandoned and broken. She gave her heart wholly and she loved deeply without restraints, the very reason as to why she's still holding on to that once cherised love albeit the fact that it has been years since such feeling was reciprocated by the person she will forever adore.

She tried to move on, she really did, but her attempt at every relationship was futile. Vain. Useless. Unfruitful. Every little thing she had with her partner, she compared to Lauren. Every nuance, every diameter of their being, every idiosyncrasy, she compared to her greatest love. She couldn't, for the life of her, move on. She could still feel the warmth and softness of the green-eyed girl's hand. Could still see the green and gold flecks of her eyes. Could still imagine the love she was embraced with by Lauren. She could still feel the softness of their every touch. She still loved.. Lauren. After all this time, she still do.

Sitting here, backstage, exhausted from all the touring for the last 3 months, she couldn't help but remember the way Lauren would look at her with concern whenever they'd pull long hours at the studio. Every brush of her hand against Camila's cheek to incite comfort. Every illicit confession they'd had behind their management's back. Every gaze they had rewarded the other, filled with secrecy and longing. Tired. Fatigued. Exhausted. She couldn't help but reminisce. She couldn't help but miss her. At the same time, she couldn't help but be disappointed with herself because after all this time; she still loved her.

A call from the venue's stage manager broke her out of her daze. She glanced furtively, her eyes casted by something akin to weariness. She loves touring, she loves sharing her music, her passion, to the world. She loves meeting her fans, people she considers her own little (huge) family. But it gets tiring, tedious, and routinely that everyday, it gets harder and harder to pull up a smile especially without the one person she really wants to smile for. Yes, she has a lot of fans. Yes, her music has been nothing but successful ever since her departure from the group 5 years ago. She has every reason to be happy, ecstatic even, but the only reason she want to be her reason is not there. Because she walked away from her reason 5 years ago.

The stage manager signalled, "5 minutes", with their hand's fingers spread out to indicate the time and their lips mouthing the specifics. She got up from where she was sitting on one of the equipments around the clutterd space; wires, chords, and instruments abound. She scanned the backstage deliberately, trying to find her mother amidst the organized commotion happening backstage. It didn't take her long to see her mother weaving through the busy people while holding her phone on her right hand and a countenance between worried and anxious.

Her mother's stance gave her a bout of anxiety but she pushed it down, pushing it back from the forefront of her mind. She didn't need a panic attack in the middle of the venue, much less the stage. She wants to deliver what her fans came here for and it's certainly not an anxiety attack.