Camren Oneshots

Horror Themed Crap

I was bored and saw this particular meme so.. 1199 words of hilarity ;)

---

Dark has just settled and the moon has just 

risen when Lauren Jauregui finished washing the dishes. The water from the tap incessantly dripping on the sink; making a tap, tap, tap sound. 

She dried her hands on a towel hanging from the oven while looking out the window of her small kitchen. The woods looked eerie, as it always was, and did nothing to settle Lauren's apprehension about being home alone. Her roommate, and best friend, was out of town for a relative's wake. 

Poor Dinah Jane lost her uncle at exactly 7:32 yesterday morning. They were eating breakfast, the sun casting a warm glow in the kitchen; making the pancakes drizzled in rich maple syrup shine under its rays when the blonde got the call from her mother which immediately sent her packing for a 6 hour flight. And possibly, two weeks of vacation what with Dinah's hundreds of family members.

She closed her eyes and sighed, willing away thoughts of ghosts and serial killers and creepy stalkers out of her mind. If she was going to survive two weeks without Dinah, she has to at least make it without being a whimpering 5 year old every time the trees rustle a little harsh.

She relocated to the living room, setting her Netflix account and browsed through cheesy romcoms. Funny thing about living in the middle of the woods, you still get stellar internet connection. 

She settled with some movie about a talking teddy bear, hoping it would stop her mind from wandering towards serial killers, ghosts, and creepy stalkers. The opening credits were just starting when the unmistakable creak of their ancient door had her head whipping around to see where the door is.

Breath caught in her throat, she sat ramrod straight, straining her ears for some sign of life. Eyes darting everywhere, pulse beating a mile a minute, and hands starting to get clammy with sweat.

A creak from the kitchen floor boards had her head turning towards the kitchen, neck straining with how fast she turned around. She saw a man standing with a knife in hand, black beanie mask covering his face, gloves gripping the sharp object, and eyes widening beneath the little holes when he met Lauren's eyes. It was so cliché and comical it would've been funny if it were a movie.

Lauren let out a small squeak before making a mad dash for the stairs, something horror movie protagonists tend to do which she absolutely detests, but shit a fucking serial killer is in the house.

A fucking serial killer is in the house.

While Lauren is home alone.

A fucking serial killer.

Well, maybe it's a burglar. Just because the man was holding a offensive object it doesn't automatically mean he's a serial killer. 

A man gripping a knife.

A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER IS IN THE HOUSE!

Thinking quick on her feet, Lauren opened Dinah's bedroom door then slammed it shut but she didn't enter the room; fuck no, she's smarter than that and she refuses to meet the same fate as those skimpy blondes in horror movies. So fucking cliché.

Instead, the green eyed girl stealthily entered her own bedroom, slipping in the slight gap of her door and quietly opening her closet— ah, her old home —she took residence under the pile of clothes she haphazardly tosses whenever she's changing, squashing an ankle boot under her weight. She could feel the heel digging on her butt cheek but comfort is out of the question with a serial killer in the house.

A serial killer is in the fucking house.

Holy shit, a serial killer is in the fucking house!

Her breaths were coming out of her in bursts of panic. She clamped both of her hands on her lips, doing little in silencing her breathing. She's curled in on herself, body tense, and eyes darting everywhere. The back of her eyelids stinging, spine tingling, and hands feeling a pin prick of needles.

A fucking serial killer is in the house.

She heard the heavy pound of boots on the stairs, an indication that the man was going up. 

"Lauren, come out, come out wherever you are!"  The man said in a singsong voice.

Great, a serial killer and a stalker.

She almost rolled her eyes in exasperation at how fucking cliché that line was. She bets 95% of celebrities who get serial killers in their houses say the same thing.

Seriously, who's writing this horror themed crap?

Dinah's bedroom door creaked open and Lauren almost smirked under her palms. The serial killer was an idiot. Definitely fell for her quick trap. 

Five minutes passed by in silence with no sound of the burglar— serial killer— man wandering the hallways and Lauren almost sighed in relief.

Almost.

Dinah's bedroom door slammed shut and Lauren jumped on her spot, letting out a small squeak when the ankle boot dug harder on her butt cheek. 

That hurt like a bitch, jerk.

The footsteps drew near. Lauren held her breath, sweat gliding down her forehead, but the footsteps went past her bedroom door and she heard the bathroom door opening.

She scoffed.

Eyes widening, she clamped her hands harder on her mouth. Mentally chastising herself.

Stupid.

The man closed the bathroom door. The footsteps started to draw near and Lauren was a sweating mess. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Her bedroom door opened.

Fuck, why didn't she lock the door?!

The man's silhouette walked towards the closet door and Lauren drew a deep breath in.

This is her end. This is it. She hasn't even pressed chargers yet on Epic for her missing solo on Worth It. This is it. This is how she's going to die. 

She furrowed her brows in confusion when the man forewent the closet door and instead, crouched down to peek under the bed.

Okay, who fucking idiot of a serial killer doesn't check the closet first?! Isn't that like, the most cliché thing that happens in horror movies?!

She rolled her eyes in annoyance when she saw the man scratching the back of his head.

How stupid this serial killer could be?!

The man exited the room and Lauren almost scoffed.

She was already reaching for her phone on her back pocket— about to call the cops— when the man yelled from the hallway.

"Camren is so real! I saw pictures in the house!"

She stopped short from reaching her phone, her annoyance flaring to great heights.

"NO, IT ISN'T, YOU DELUSIONAL PSYCHO!"

The unmistakable cock of a gun cleared away the raging fog.

"Jackpot."

Finally realising what the fuck happened, her eyes widened.

She's such an idiot.

The closet door slowly opened and she was met with the barrel of a gun.

"Holy shit."

---