A Final Season of Rick and Morty

22 -- Morty's New Chapter

Morty and Rayna step out of a portal outside a doughnut shop, in front of two cop Ricks. The doughnut falls out of the mouth of the Rick on the right from shock while the left Rick seizes his radio to say, "10-mp32, I repeat, 10-m-P!-32: Morty with a portal gun. Send—"

Morty shoots the radio, lowers his pistol, and asks, "Wait, I just need to know where the president is, then I'll get rid of the gun—both guns."

The ex-doughnut Rick stalls with nervous compassion, "Hey, now, little guy... Where's... Where's your Rick huh? I've got some rare Pokémon cards, wana see?" and creeps towards him. "Or Yugioh?"

"If you're gay," the left-Rick adds.

Doughnut Rick replies, "(Well yeah but don't tell him that)."

Almost rolling his eyes, Morty scolds, "It's 2018! You can't say 'gay' like that anymore."

Left Rick argues, "I was born when you could!"

"Then what are you, twelve!? Grow up! Where's the president!?" Morty demands.

Doughnut Rick creeps a little closer, faking sympathy, "W—Where's you're Rick? You must be so angry you can't find him among all of us."

"He's with the president..." Morty says, and the Ricks relax a little, thinking it explains this, but Morty growls, "...and he's not my Rick," aiming his pistol at them.

Both Ricks blink. Doughnut Rick stops creeping, alarmed, but the left Rick scoffs, "What are you going to do, shoot us?" and aims his gun at Morty.

"Yeah," Morty says. "Because I know you can't, and I can. I'm not like other Mortys, I've killed my Rick before. I—I—I just didn't know it was a fake gun."

The left Rick crosses his arms and half mocks, "Bulllll shit. Your stuttering says you're lying."

Morty glares at left-Rick, as if taking the challenge... then suddenly jabs his portal gun at left-Rick's feet—left-Rick jumps out of the way of the portal that opens up, but Doughnut Rick falls into the portal's exit that opens below his. With two portals flat on the ground, side by side, Doughnut Rick's legs come out of one—pointing to the sky—and his torso up out of the other, meaning gravity keeps him floating in the portals.

Morty says to Doughnut Rick, "I don't know if you're a good Rick or a bad Rick, so the only way you won't get cut in half is if we pull you out. So where's the president?"

Left-Rick chides, "He's just going to lie either way—It's a bullshit question!—A bad Rick would to trick and capture you, and your hypothetical 'good' Ricks would to protect the president."

Doughnut Rick yells, "Why would you even say that!? Now he won't believe you either! Just help me out!"

Left-Rick waves Morty clear passage to shoot Doughnut Rick and steps away to bark, "Oh shut the hell up you ~UURP~ pussy-ass dick!—You became a cop just to score free doughnuts!—Lazy dumbass!—You deserve to die! And you have one minute left before that portal auto-closes on your ass, literally," motioning to Doughnut Rick's ass floating in both portals.

Morty says, "Well I'm not going to hurt the president—not planning to anyways—just save C-137 from him, or maybe save him from C-137," trying to fib. "So tell me."

Neither say anything, so Rayna gets Morty's attention and makes 6 gestures:

1. Points to left-Rick.

2. Uses one hand to put her thumb over her ear and her pinky at her mouth.

3. Points to Doughnut Rick.