Chapter 6

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September 27th, 2004,

          I tugged down on my jacket sleeve, hoping to hide the bandage wrapped around my wrist and lower arm. It had been just over two weeks since the cutting incident had occurred, and since then it's only gotten worse. Joey took my blade in hopes of preventing me from harming myself again - but instead I just bought more, claiming that the old razor was no good anymore. Eventually it got so out of hand that Joey had no choice but to tell my grandfather what had been going on. After that, he forbid me from going out of the house on my own, and considering my only friend for these past couple of weeks was Joey, that meant rarely if at all. I stopped going to school out of fear and embarrassment, leaving Joey to act as m,y messenger. He brings me my homework every day, and turns it in every morning. I stopped using my phone, deleting any messages without a second glance. At one point I even considered disabling my phone completely - although my grandpa said that was too extreme. I had isolated myself from the rest of the world, spending most of my days in my room, examining every last inch of the wall's paint design out of sheer boredom. 

Although I might not speak to very many people, I feel somewhat secure knowing Joey will stay by my side. He comes by every other day to re-wrap my bandages, mainly to make sure I haven't opened up old wounds, along with inspecting every corner of my room. It was like I was a prisoner - but I suppose it was only for the best. They both just wanted me to be safe, no matter how drastic of measures it required.

Even though I've been blocked from most social interaction, my grandpa lets me run the shop during school hours. Every so often the phone would ring - around the same time each day, really, - and every time my grandpa would rush downstairs to hang up. At one point, I decided to look into this caller, the mysterious number that we had never answered. It seemed familiar, but I couldn't exactly place a finger on it. There was no use in looking through my phone - it had been wiped clean days ago, which had actually been my own doing out of fear. That's all I ever thought about nowadays - fear. Fear of what people will say, think, do. Fear of what could happen, what I could do wrong. I could hardly step outside anymore without breaking down, worried about returning to my self-harming ways of just weeks ago. There was never an escape, just a place for me to sit for the remainder of my days, afraid of the outside world and the people that inhabit it. I had been suggested therapists on multiple occasions, but I doubted their abilities. Nothing could fix what I had except for me - and I was too afraid too.

The events of this month alone have made me realize something - something that had passed me by all of this time.

As I had been trying to pick up the dominoes, they were still falling, falling down to the depths of failure and despair. But now they've reached the end. They've reached me.

I was the last to fall. I'm the last domino.

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September 28th, 2004,

          I sat in a small room filled with the same slick, black chairs, an attendant scribbling her notes at a desk not too far from me as I waited.

Suddenly, a door opened across the room, a woman standing at it's entrance with a clipboard. ''Yami Sennen?''

That's my cue. I stood up, walking over with my hands in my pockets as I tried to avoid any eye contact. I never thought I'd find myself here, seeing a therapist, of all things. The woman led me to a room down the hall, with a small desk and some couches to sit at. I took a seat on one of the soft cushions as she stood by the door, watching.

''The doctor will be with you shortly,'' She hummed before closing the door behind her and walking away. I sighed, glancing around the room in boredom. It was much more comforting than I had imagined - with lovely decorations scattered across the walls, and some bookshelves packed to the brim with novels of all sorts. The welcoming atmosphere momentarily distracted me from the chaos that had brought me here.

The door swung open before a tall lady closed it softly and sat down across from me, holding a notepad and a laptop at her side before setting it down on a small coffee table between us.

''Hello, young man. You're from Domino High, correct?''

I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands that were held together in my lap. The doctor sighed, typing something up on her computer and flipping to a previous page in her notebook.

''Alright, Mr. Sennen, I'll be frank with you here. You're the seventh person to see me this week from that same high school - and it's only Tuesday. Over the entirety of the month, at least an entire class' worth of children have come here depressed and in major emotional pain. So I sincerely apologize if my response doesn't sound.. well, sincere; But I can guarantee I've heard your exact story at least two times before this.''

I gulped nervously, finding any reason not to look directly at her. ''It's not the same.''

The woman crossed her legs and leaned closer. ''Listen, Yami. Every kid who's come in here has said that exact same thing, followed by a whole story about a rash of bullying that derived from an edited photo of two students. I'm willing to hear you out, but I don't think you could give me one reason as to why your case is unique.''

''Because I was one of those kids, Ra damn it!''

I slammed my fists down on the table, tears streaming down the sides of my face as the doctor looked up in shock. 

''I'm so sorry, I..''

''No!'' I shouted, standing up from the couch. ''I've been to 10 different doctors within the past month, and every single one has told me the exact same thing! They've told me that they're done hearing our complaints, that it's 'really not that bad', when it is! It fucking is! I lost everyone I loved because of my own foolish actions, and now I don't even have a status to catch my fall!''

The tears splashed down onto the table, forming small pools as I began to choke up. The entire building was silent, the therapist staring at me with concern as I continued to cry. This is exactly what I wanted to prevent, what I wanted to hide from everyone. I wanted to keep my friends safe, but at the same time be seen as powerful and respected. I never knew that my own decisions meant to nurture my friends would result in me losing them all - even Yugi, who seemed to be doing everything in his power to avoid me. I sat down slowly, falling onto the couch before covering my face in shame.  Is this really what it all came down to?

The woman placed a hand on my shoulder, comforting me. ''You can talk, Yami. I'll listen to whatever you have to say. Now, could you start from the beginning?"

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