Neighbors with Benefits // BTS

Hold me Tight

My face felt extremely hot all of a sudden and I couldn't help but place a hand on my cheeks. A confession. He confessed and it felt so secretive. Jungkook- -did he just- -. . . What? Was that why he came over? Because of his. . . love for me? When he said those things?

No. . .

It couldn't be. . .

Maybe I was hearing wrong. . .

Maybe it was in a friendly kind of way?

But it didn't sound like it. . .

My thoughts were cut off from the phone rumbling in my fingers, as I took a glance at the screen.

Jungkook came over, didn't he? I'm coming over.

Jin was coming over.

Oh my Lord, where there even a point to text Jin a fake excuse? What another way to feel even more terrible. My body was already near the front door, so I decided to wait for him.

Within a minute, the front door of my house opened unexpectedly. I tried so hard not to fangirl from his black suit and tie, as he wore black dressed shoes. Jin must have planned this date ahead of time if he was wearing such a fancy suit. His light brown hair was parted nicely and evenly and more smooth.

"Felicia, why did you bail out on the date? You said yes." Jin sounded angry at the tone of his voice, as he closed the door behind him.

I tried not to choke on my words. "I wanted to go. . . but when Jungkook came over- -"

He stepped closer with a deep stare. "Was it because of him that you changed your mind?"

". . ."

From my silent response, Jin sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "What did Jungkook say to you?"

My tongue was tied down, it was either my bad memory or my fear to speak at all.

"I'm sorry, Jin. . . you were all dressed up and I let you down. I'm really sorry." I did my best to avoid that question and just focus on Jin.

"It's not your fault! Don't apologize. I'm to blame when that bastard took my phone. . ." Jin slipped his hands out from his pockets and pulled out his phone. "The fact that you're dressed up means you wanted to go out with me, and I'm happy to see that."

His voice became surprisingly soothing to my ears. I began to tear up from his warmth. "Jin. . ."

"Felicia." Jin poked my cheeks and winked. "Smile. You look ugly when you don't."

"Thank you. . ." I let out a small smile along with a giggle. Jin laughed back and I brought myself to laugh from his laughter. Jin decided to slip a few of his dad jokes, and for some reason, they were extremely funny. We kept filling the empty sound with our laughs till our sides ached, till we were filled with joy.

After that, we sat on the couch together with the TV on a random drama. "Do you still want to go out? In fact, we can have our date here." I watched Jin's eyeballs directly at the screen.

"Here?" I questioned him, finding it a bit odd.

He then faced me. "Sure, why not?" Jin shrugged. "We can cook some dinner. What do you have?"

"Um. . ." My brain wasn't working as well as I thought it would. After the BTS concert, I couldn't remember what I ate earlier for lunch.

"We'll have my heart for dinner then," Jin made a heart with his two fingers which brought me to laugh in a flustered way.

The next thing I knew was his large hand was on top of mine small one, squeezing it not so tight. We were close. Too close. I focused on my breathing and kept my thoughts away from any sudden fainting.

"Are you comfortable around me more?" He asked.

I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on our hands. "More than the first time I met you," I answered softly.

"I'm really glad that I met such a weird, yet beautiful girl like you, Felicia," Jin said.

"And me the same. . . " I responded back, ignoring the fact he called me weird. Perhaps he meant it in a good way.

He responded back with a gentle smile. So far, I felt calm around Jin. I didn't feel nervous or sick. It was a good feeling, especially today. I felt normal. . .

"Sanranghae. . ."

I woke up from my daze and looked up at him. "San. . .ranghae?"

He nodded and leaned closer. "Sanranghae." He repeated.

I love you.

"Sanranghae. . ." I began to close the gap between us. His hands moved now to my cheeks, caressing it. He closed his eyes first, then I mimicked him. A few seconds later, the moment I felt his lips was the moment I reacted uncomfortably.

"Wait- -N-no." I pushed him away gently, panicking, remembering this androphobia. . . remembering Arthur. . . the threats with Mei. . . my necklace. . . all of those thoughts triggered an endless flashback in my head.

"What's wrong, Felicia?" Jin stared at me with a worried look.

My body trembled, as I got up from the couch. "I'm sorry. . . It's me. . . I need some air. . ."

I heard Jin's voice calling my name as I left the living room to the front door. I closed the door behind me and sighed. I hugged my body and looked up at the stars to relax.

Why was I afraid up to this point? Why? I thought I was fine after all of that, but it seemed there was a giant scar that was left untreated. It haunted me. And now it came back.

"I can't believe it. . ." I was disappointed in myself.

"Felicia," I heard Jin's voice straight behind me. His face showed sadness; I messed up again.

"It's ok. No one's gonna hurt you. I'm here." Jin was trying to comfort me.

"I thought. . . I was fine. . ." I muttered. I seriously thought. . .

"I'll keep you safe, Felicia," Jin said, rubbing my hair. After that, his hands went for my hands and I couldn't help but squeeze them. "Only if you trust me. . ."

I released a shaky breath out. ". . .I want to trust you. . . I do." I felt tears pouring from my eyes.

"We'll take easy steps. There's no rush." Jin transferred his hands to my eyes, wiping my tears that rolled from my cheeks.

My eyes softened from his touch, and it made me eager to be closer to him.

"Can you trust me?" He repeated.

I put my toes high. "I. . . I want to. . . please take my word for it. . ."

"I'll take your word then. . ." Jin pulled me into his lips and us finally. . . kissed. It was. . . so soothing and inviting, I had to wrap my arms around him. When the cold, abrupt breeze hit me, I couldn't help but part away. It was at that moment it felt like a dream.

A wonderful dream.

"I love you," Jin said, pulling me deeper into his embrace.

I smiled and held tightly to him, burying my face in his warm chest. "Je t'aime aussi (I love you too)."