Wild And Free [Namjin]

Chapter 29

"What do you mean I can't go inside?!" Namjoon's rage brought on curious eyes and hushed whispers, but it thankfully brought forward a distressed-looking Hoseok.

"Namjoon, please calm down.."
"Why didn't you call me when he collapsed?" Hoseok's request failed to register, and he decided that the best he could do was force Namjoon into a hug.
"Because I knew you'd be like this." He hissed, seriousness overcoming his dark tone. That served to drop the act immediately and Namjoon gave into the hug.

"I hate you." He pounded his fist against Hoseok's back, sinking his damp eyes into the crook of his shoulder. "I hate you, Hobi. I hate how much you know me. I hate how good I was feeling this morning." Rage swapped with pity and fatigue with every hit that Namjoon delivered to Hoseok's back, but he took it and said nothing until it was over. He waited until the only thing coming out of Namjoon's throat were sharp inhales and choked sobs.

"He's not really in any danger. They just didn't let you in 'cause he needed a calm room to recover in. You'll only raise his blood pressure and make him dizzy again." Hoseok rubbed soothing circles into Namjoon's back, supporting his heavy weight until Namjoon could stand steadily again. He sniffed, going over his nose with a swipe of his finger to further dry it. "Was he sweating?" Hoseok pulled back in confusion, but then widened his eyes at the calmness that took over Namjoon.

"You're not suggesting he has that, are you?"
"He does. He's been working with it for years. I renovated the room today and-" Namjoon stopped himself as he remembered the familiar set of medicinal drugs cornered in the back of Jin's underwear drawer. He'd had his suspicions ever since they first left London, noticing Jin's sudden loss of appetite and occasional but dramatic temperature rises. He ignored it the best he could and took care of him the best he could, hoping and praying it was all in his head.

"And?" Hoseok snapped a finger by Namjoon's ear to break him out of his waking nightmare. "I found the antibiotics." He involuntarily sobbed out the last word, hugging Hope again and biting at his lip painfully hard to stop himself from exploding.

"Anyone for Kim Seokjin?" Both men turned around, startling the small nurse. They walked up to her hurriedly and waited for her to speak. "Two doors down the right hall. He's stable now, so please take care of him well." She stepped aside and pointed in the general direction of the room. Hoseok held onto Namjoon's arm, desperate to prevent another possible outburst. There was none.

Whatever emotion Namjoon showed was a lot worse than rage. It wasn't a fixed emotion at all, actually. It was a cluster of worry, devastation, ruin and a pepper of betrayal- the perfect heartbreak mix.
Why was this always how he had to find out? In an ugly whitewashed hospital, with tired, whitewashed people, wearing uniform clothes and uniform reassurance.

"Why?" Namjoon asked one of the many questions he wanted to get rid of. He stood at Jin's legs, unable to move any closer. Jin found himself looking for help in Hoseok's eyes. Hoseok clenched a fist to his heart, telling Jin to stay strong and imitated a tear falling down with his index finger. He either signified Namjoon crying those tears, or Jin trying to hold them back. In either case, both failed.

It was painfully emotional for the both of them, seeing as how that situation brought on a heavy de ja vu experience. Namjoon stood at the foot of Jin's bed, unable to move a muscle from the hurt. That is until he started talking. "Back when she asked me not to tell you about her sickness." Jin's voice wavered, close to a crack, but not quite there. "I didn't get it, but I listened to her. And you looked so sad, it caused me to wonder what made her not want to tell you. But now I get it. I could have gone through with this, damn it. Everything was going just fine. But then one second I was coughing, and the flashes were too bright.." Jin spoke with squinted, disbelieving eyes, as if everything was working itself around until that moment. "Now I'm here and you're here too, and I can't change that. I'm so sorry."

Jin's rant was emptied against the background monotone of machinery beeping out his heart-rate. It got faster as he went on and it seemed to get louder for Namjoon- that sound was all too dangerous, so he did what he wanted to do almost 15 months back. He hugged Jin tightly before any nurse could rush in and take him away. He squeezed his head and whiffed his soft hair for a scent he couldn't forget in the cold waiting room.

Just when Jin hugged back, he caught the glimpse of a nurse shoving past Hobi, followed by another and a doctor. Namjoon chanced a quick kiss before being roughly ushered out. He dusted himself off and regretfully looked back at Jin before leaving.
"I love you." Namjoon said and Jin replied the only way he knew how- with a reason to smile. He threw a hand-heart at Namjoon then sunk as he was being laid down. And that was how their anniversary day came to end.