social phobia • l.h

I

I choked up and couldn't breathe and began to get nervous I could feel the tears forming.

"I'm sorry" I wiped my hands onto his body attempting to dry him but saw the crowd beginning to form around us. My anxiety began kicking in quickly.

"It's fine! It's fine." He pushed me off

"I'm sorry I just." I back out of the circle before walking towards the doors before bumping into random people.

"Who the hell is she!!!!!"

"ew look at her!"

"what a fucking slut!"

"she was totally all over him. whore"

"Dork"

"Loser"

"Party crasher"

"Get the hell out of here you crazy fuck!"

I felt tears beginning to form inside me and I felt something change.

This was how the start of my horrible senior year as the 'school freak started'

________

My name is Kelsey winters it is currently mid-senior year and I am still avoided throughout the school for all the rumors started. A few months back in august when school started alison had a few classes with me but she switched out according to her she 'changed her mind out taking the course" later she sent me a message saying 'I don't think our friendship is going to workout' so now she sits with the populars... I'm not surprised I saw it coming.

Now I sit here on the bleachers on the football field eating a peanut butter sandwhich.. Alone. But I'm not

Complaining I usually come here to eat lunch and think. finish assignments.

There are rumors that I gave luke hemmings or attempted to give him a blowjob as a apology sort of way..

Or some that say that I have AIDS.

There are also rumors that luke hemmings claimed that I admitted to being super in love with him and tried sleeping with him and threw a tantrum that resulted in me throwing my drink all over him when he said he had no interest in me?

Luke hemmings is such a GOOD FOR NOTHINH FU-

"Can I sit here?" A boy almost scrawny looking asked before throwing his black pack into the bench next to me... I nodded. he adjusted his baggy striped shirt.

"Kelsey winters right?" He asked

"Oh god if you're coming to tell me how much of a fucking failure I am. NO THANKS!"

"why are you a failure?"

"Don't you know?"

"What that your drink fell onto lukes shirt at the party? yeah. But the amount of shit you're getting is fucking bullshit!" he shook his head.

He was the first one to understand.

"My names Michael Clifford by the way" he laughed and his green hair shined in the light of the sun or maybe it was his sweat that shined.

'What are you doing out here michael?"

"I rather not say kelsey"

I nodded I understood, when the luke thing happened I also didn't speak so I understand why he feels the need to not speak or feel alone.

______

"how are you feeling Kelsey?" Dr.Bennet asked in a slight monotone while he wrote down more things down on a clipboard.

"I'm feeling alright"

Dr.Bennet understood I hated using the words 'fine' or 'okay' because they felt rather 'attention seeking' in my opinion.

"Did you eat inside today?'

I nodded, I knew I was lying but

He didn't.

'You're lying' 'I called the school today Kelsey'

'I can't eat inside.'

'Not now atleast 'I replied

'You said that last time Kelsey. Now why arent you eating inside?"

'I don't want to deal with more drama!!! I don't want to be called a whore or slut!!! GOD I DIDNT GIVE LUKE HEMMINGS A BLOWJOB!"

He eyed me with wide eyes and wrote more things down.

'I met someone today though'

'His name is Michael and he has cool hair.' I chuckled but Dr.Bennet didn't.

This was my life... appointments,reality Tv, homework,depression pills,more medication and writing.