RUSTY. | BxB

Chapter Eleven : Fear Itself

Chapter Eleven : Fear Itself

'To the Parent(s)/Guardian of : Ronnie Cortez

It has come to our attention that Ronnie Cortez did not meet all the standard requirements to graduate with the rest of his/her graduating class due to a lack of credits in the subject of math. Because of this, your child's teacher has recommended our Summer School program in order to receive these missing credits. '

I stopped reading and raised my eyebrow to Mom, curious to know why she would think this affected me, "You do know I don't care about this, right?" I said, flapping the piece of paper around in the air.  I had cheated my way through the majority of my school life.

   
    "Boy!" she raised her voice suddenly before catching herself in her anger. She huffed and rubbed her forehead before returning a stern look at me crossing her arms, "And since when did you stop caring?"

"I never cared, Mom." I sat the paper back down before walking back to my chair. I could tell she didn't like my attitude towards the situation by the way she stormed over to the counter where the paper was and picked it up with force, but it was how I felt. She always talked about wanting me to express my feelings more. In my opinion, I'm doing just that.

"Well, I'm glad you don't give a damn about your future, but I do! We talked about this. I wanted to see you make something of yourself. I wanted to be the proud parent in the crowd, yelling and screaming how proud I am of you."

"So now this is my fault?" I question. The idea of being like me, even being in a public school, still rattled my thought process, "Do you realize the kind of people we are? And how was I ever going to have a future when we move city to city, school to school every few months? Sometimes weeks. On top of all that, you have yet to even tell me where my power comes from because it certainly isn't like yours. Quit trying to make me 'normal' Mom. We're far from it!"

She was taken back by my sudden outburst, but I kept going, a darkness I could feel begin to swell in my body, "Nobody here knows me! Hell, nobody anywhere knows me because they never have time to! You want me to be human but won't even let me go to a fucking party-"

"Watch your mouth when you're talking to me!" She snapped with an anger in her voice. I looked to my left, noticing Zuri watching our entire argument. Her lips tuckered as her eyes began to widen in sadness. Immediately, the energy arousing in me calmed.

"I have done nothing but try to help our family have a better life." Mom continued from the side as I regretted the hurtful things I said to her. Never had she been this upset at me.

I returned my attention to Mom. I could tell she were holding back her emotions from the cracks in her voice here and there. However, at the same time I knew she were being selective about revealing her thoughts and the truth about who I really am.

"I've tried my damnedest since the day you were born to lead you on the right path. Maybe I shouldn't have hovered over you the way that I did, maybe I do play a part in why you're so frustrated, but I refuse to let you talk to me as if I haven't done anything for you. That's one thing we're not going to do." She finished, really getting her point across to me. I felt her emotion and began to question why I had acted out so suddenly like that towards her.

She went over to grab Zuri who had not began to cry but certainly the water in her eyes were enough to do so. "I don't know where all of that attitude came from sir," she said casually picking up Zuri from her high chair, "But by the time I come back-"

"I'm sorry Ma." I interrupted remorsefully. I didn't need her to be angry with me, she and Zuri were all I had.

"Don't be sorry now, you had some stuff on your chest obviously," she scoffed grabbing her purse and keys with one hand while holding Zuri in the other, "but showing me some respect is the very least you could." She met my eyes before walking out the kitchen.