What About Us?

Chapter 3

Jackson

That encounter really had me shaken up. I hadn't seen him since the police told me mom was dead. For once in a long time I felt safe, I felt loved. I have a wonderful girlfriend, amazing friends, people who care about me, a place where I belong, and in less than a minute my dad rips away that feeling and leaves me with nothing. I know he'll come back, I know what he'll do next time he sees me. I just can't take it!

Charlie cleaned up the side of my face and Angela kept telling me I was safe. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. HE was coming back! HE would find me!

When everything was done, Angela led me back to our room to finish packing. I was shaking, I walked over to the bed and curled up like I used to when he would beat me. Angela kept talking to me, but the panic was louder than her words.

I stayed there for a while just shaking on the bed and trying to shut out everything. I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled over. The bed shifted as Angela sat down beside me.

"Jack?" She asked slowly running her hand down my spine. I simply pushed my head further into the pillow, "Its ok. I promise he won't hurt you. Come on."

Slowly I rolled over, so my head rested on her lap. I cracked my eyes and saw her curly brown hair falling in her eyes, I reached up and pushed it behind her ears

"We're safe, ok? I promise. We're going to be heading back early tomorrow morning, we'll be back at camp where we will be safe." She continued to talk about camp and the future. After a while her smooth voice and hand moving through my hair put me to sleep where I faced worse images.

<*>

It was the night of my mother's death the cops had just left after telling us the news. My dad turned toward me with a wooden spoon in his hand. I didn't even have time to think before he brought it down on my head . . . hard. I jumped up as he grabbed a bottle and chucked it at me as I raced around the corner. I dodged the glass shards as I ran to my room and slammed the door.

More bottles pelted the door, but I didn't care. I threw my possessions in a duffle bag. With my mom gone there was nothing to stop him from killing me. I heard the cock of a gun and took it as my que to leave. I jumped out onto the fire escape as a shot echoed through my room. I jumped down the ladder and ran as fast as I could into the night.

<*>

I woke up in the dark, I jumped up and turned on the light to find the room empty. Through the half-shut door, I could hear a hushed conversation. I opened the door and walked down the hall, everyone was seated at the table eating. They all looked up when I walked out.

"Hey bud, you want something to eat?" Jacob asked, I simply shook my head and sat down next to Angela who squeezed my hand under the table.

"Well, since we're all here, I have something to tell everyone." Charlie said, "You all know how my mom disowned me, well the reason was because I told her I am . . . gay."

Everyone was silent. Slowly Melisa got out of her chair, walked over to him, and hugged him.

"We love you." She said, everyone followed her lead and soon Charlie was being smothered by everyone's embrace. The only one who didn't look happy was Teddy. His face was a mix between fear and something unreadable . . . hope? Love?

I volunteered to do the dishes and Angela joined me. Jacob started horsing around with Charlie and they ended up grabbing Melisa and running out to throw her in the lake.

It didn't take too long to clean up and when we had finished three soaking wet teenagers walked through the door. Melisa had a smug look on her face and Jacob looked like he had just eaten the bottom of the lake. Charlie was the only one generally happy to be wet and ran up to Teddy and wrapped his arm around him

"CHARLIE GET OFF! YOU'RE ALL WET!" Teddy yelled trying move Charlie's arm but just getting more wet. He shook himself like a dog spraying water from his beach blond hair.
"That's the point." Charlie said calmly when he had sufficiently dowsed Teddy.

I felt someone grab my hand and pull me away from the crazy environment and out onto the porch.

"You ok? You've been really quiet since we got back." Angela asked

"I'm ok." I whispered. To be honest I was still shaken up about earlier.

She got on her tip toes and looked me straight in the eye

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"No."

I dropped my gaze and stared at the hole in the toe of my shoe. Angela took a step forward and I instinctively stepped away.

"Shh, it's ok. It's just me." She soothed stepping forward again. The panicked voices started to build up in my head.

"No, it's not ok!" I snapped, "I was perfectly fine until we went out. I finally found somewhere I felt safe, someone who loves me, a group who accepts me. And in less than a minute all the terrible memories I had pushed away the weeks I spent homeless hunting the country for a place to stay, the weeks of being alone, the years of being beaten as soon as my mom left for work! So, no nothing is ok! You have no idea how long it took for camp to feel like a safe place to me, no idea how long it took me to stop thinking he was going to come around the corner and not miss!" I put my head in my hands and tried to get all the images out of my head. Angela tried to comfort me but the moment she touched me I flinched and jumped away.

"Come here." She slowly approached me.

This time when she wrapped her arms around me I didn't jump or flinch. Instead I melted into her, I buried my face in the crook of her neck. I didn't cry, I had cried myself out years ago, I simply clung to her. She kept me grounded, she talked about all the moments we had shared. The times I pulled her into the lake, the time we snuck out late at night, the time we camped out in the woods, the time she found me hiding outside the camp entry because I had pranked the camp director, the time we fell out of a tree when a squirrel jumped out of no were, our first date, our first kiss. Slowly she pushed away the bad memories and exchanged them for ones of us.

We stayed out there until the noise inside died down and the lights were shut off.

"Thank you." I said lifting my head

"Hey," She kissed my jaw, "I'm always here for you."

With that we headed to bed.

<*>

"Jack! JACKSON! Get up we have to GO!" Angela said shaking me.

"Stop it." I whined

"Come on, we're going home."

I lifted my head, the sky was still dark

"It's too early."

She flopped on top of me. "Get up!" She commanded

"I can't with you on me."

She got off and began dragging my off the bed. It brought back memories. I sat bolt up-right and tore my arm away from her grip and started shaking again.

"Jack, it's ok. I won't hurt you." She carefully sat beside me and I jumped out of bed. My cheek was still bandaged from where he hit me last night. I started pacing back and forth.

"Jack," Her tone was gentle, "Come here."

I slowly walked over to her.

"Listen," She said taking my hands, "You're safe, ok? He's not going to get you, you're an adult now. He no longer has control over you."

"I know . . ."

She stood up and pressed a kiss to my lips, "Come on, we're going home."