BLACK BEAUTY

The crib

"Mainland one more to go! Mainland! Mainland! Enter with your change oo!

Ewa sat in the commercial bus popularly known by lagosians as danfo..

She hissed as a piece of grit got into her eyes and she tried rubbing it off as it made her eyes itch.

"Your money for there aunty oo" the conductor gestured at her stretching out his black grisly palm.

"Which money"Ewa countered

"Which kind question be that one,give me my money jae (what kind of question is that?)

"I gave you one hundred and fifty naira" Ewa said as she rubbed her itchy eyes.

"Wo aunty,me I no dey here for shere shere oo,na because say youu be woman I dey look you oo,abeg find me my money i nor fit shout (see aunty I'm not playing jokes,please give me my money,i can't shout)"

Ewa stared at the red eyed conductor as he vomited and spat out profanities and insult on her generations and family,the cigarette smell reeking from his mouth made it close to impossible to open her mouth to reply plus the spittle that jumped out of his mouth like tiny missiles.

"Please Mr man,i don't have time to exchange words with you this evening,i gave you money before I entered the bus I'm in no mood for your illy-whacker tricks right now".

"Ogbeni! Give me my money jare" the furious dragged ewa 's jacket and pulled towards himself forcing her to stand up off her seat.

"Are you mad,leave me alone, I've given you the money" Ewa screamed.

"Oga you leave am Na woman" a round chubby man whom Ewa presumed was an Igbo because of his unmistakable accent.

"Shey Na you wan pay the money abi" the conductor said widening his eyes for emphasis.

The Igbo man shrugged and continued with his phone.

Two women carrying tomatoes on their laps blasted in yoruba tongues about the delay complaining that their goods would have been crushed by the heat before they arrive at the market although the conductor wasn't hearing of that as he was busy quarrelling with Ewa.

"Aunty you sef give am the money abi as you fine reach like this Na one hundred and fifty naira you no get for your Prada hand bag.(give him the money, is it just
One hundred and fifty naira you can't produce from your prada hand bag)

Ewa shot the man a deadly glare,she could feel fumes coming out of her ears and eyes as she contemplated on whether to curse the man who was old enough to be her father or just give the conductor the last one hundred and fifty naira in her purse.

"Here's your money,keep the change"

If there was anything like slow motion deals in real life that exactly would have been more suitable for the moment.Ewa slowly turned her head towards the direction of the calm voice she heard,and then it came to her.

It was exactly like in the movies where the cute guy behind with the coolest baritone voice will save her day buy paying her transport and then they'd lock gaze and stare into each others eyes for eternity and then he'd flash her that killer smile and ask her for her number and then she'd go home smiling like crazy as she think about him on the way and...

"Ewa..! Ewa!

"Ahem..thank you- the words had barely gotten out of her mouth when she met her brother's gaze.

"Jesus! Ayo what are you doing on the bus"?Ewa asked slightly out of breath.

"Actually I am in the bus,and am doing what you're doing obviously"