Little Red (Jacob Seed)

9. PTSD

It's been a week. A week and neither Red or Jacob had talked about that night when Jacob had told her that she was his, no matter what. They didn't feel the need to address it. Red was content with just knowing that he cared for her in some way, while Jacob was still having the internal debate that she was young and pure while he is the wolf. The soldier and eldest Seed brother. She deserves better...

During that week Red would go everywhere with Jacob, even doing his evening rounds with him instead of waiting in the truck. The only time they spent apart was when Red was fixing up some cultists after training and when they where sleeping.

Red woke up at 2:26 in the morning, she groaned to herself as she shuffled over to the bathroom. Once she finished up she walked towards the bed but stopped when she heard a noise downstairs. She furrowed her brow before picking up her hand gun and cautiously leaving her room and walking down the stairs. Jacob said that he trusted her enough for her to keep her weapons in her room so that she felt safer.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs she looked down at herself and cursed herself for only wearing shorts and a tank top to bed. She looked around and saw Jacob's army jacket folded over the back of a chair in the hallway. She quietly shuffled over to it and shrugged it onto her shoulders and slipping her arms into the sleeves. The jacket was far to large for her so she rolled the sleeves up to her elbows and buttoned up the bottom few buttons of the jacket. She readied her gun again and walked through the cabin, looking for the source of the noise.

She let out a relieved sigh when she saw Jacob sitting in the living room on the sofa, the room was only dimly lit by the lamp beside him. She walked into the room and placed her gun down on the coffee table. "Why are you awake?" Jacob asked, not looking at her and rubbing his temples.

"I woke up and heard a noise downstairs, thought there was an intruder or something" Red explained, scanning the man with her eyes. He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old tee shirt, it was strange for Red to see him dressed like that.

"You should've went to my room to get me" he told her, shaking his head and staring at the floor with tired eyes.

"I didn't want to disturb you" she admitted and shuffled her feet a little awkwardly.

"I can pretty much guarantee that you wouldn't disturb m-" Jacob looked up and as soon as he saw Red he lost the words and his train of thought. "Why are you wearing that?" He asked, his voice lowering dangerously. His jacket looked so big when she was wearing it, she was drowning in it. And Jacob loved it.

"I realised that I was a little underdressed to be taking on an intruder and I saw this on the chair, sorry" she apologised and went to unbutton the jacket.

"No, it's fine" he shook his head, she smiled a little and removed her hands from the jacket, keeping it on and enjoying the feeling of wearing it.

"Why are you awake?" Red asked and Jacob sighed before speaking.

"Did you know it takes ten days for civilization to collapse?" He asked. Red was confused but thought that this must be leading somewhere, so she shook her head and sat down beside Jacob on the sofa. "Yep. You take away a man's basic needs and he'll revert to his primordial instincts in just ten days. Ah, it's a difficult thing to understand unless you've lived it..." He shrugged, about to dismiss the thought but Red's curious eyes begged him to continue and explain.

"I was in Iraq during the first Gulf War. Eighty-second airborne. All-Americans. Hoo-rah" he continued, Red smiled softly at the tiny amount of humour in his voice. "One night, there was a, an ambush. Me and this guy named Miller got separated from the unit. No food. No radio. Nearest base, two hundred clicks to the south so we just started walking. Well, by the third day I knew we were lost. Day six...ran out of water. Do you know what that's like?" He asked, his blue eyes piercing Red's. She shook her head, listening to his story and wanting nothing more than to make everything better. "Difficult to swallow" he told her, adverting his eyes from hers for a second.

"On the seventh day Miller's legs started going all wonky. Did you know your brain starts to eat your muscles in order to survive?" Jacob asked leaning away from Red slightly, she shook her head. "He got so goddamn skinny" he told her, looking as if he was remembering the events and replaying them in his head.

"By the eighth day, the wolves were closing in. And I looked at Miller and I could tell we were as good as dead. And I accepted that. And in that acceptance came clarity. You see, I wasn't just looking at Miller. I was looking at an opportunity" he told her.

She watched him carefully, already thinking about every way that this story could end. None of them were good, but she listened to him. She craved for him to continue, to open up to her. Jacob paused before continuing, he was too far in and he had to tell her the end of the story now. "It wasn't something that I wanted...it was something that I had to do. It was, it was my test" he confessed before laying his arm on the back of the sofa and leaning towards the girl slightly, not enough to threaten her in anyway.

"Now you see, Miller's sacrifice wasn't about me walking out of that desert. It was about bringing me here" Jacob finished his tale and looked Red in the eyes, searching for a reaction.

She had to process his words...he ate Miller? She pondered the thought. At first she was disgusted, how could you eat a person? Then she thought about the situation, what would she have done? What would other people have done? "Survival of the fittest" she mumbled as she stared into Jacob's eyes.

"The weak have their purpose" he nodded, waiting for her to gag or spit at him before leaving forever.

"I...I'm not going to hold that against you...I probably should but I won't. You hear stories about survivors of ship wrecks and plane crashes eating other survivors to make it through. You did what you had to do to survive, I don't know what I would've done in that situation" she admitted, smiling gently at him, tears brimming in her eyes. Now she sees how damaged the man in front of her is.

"You are strong, you would've made the right decision" he assured her. Even though the 'right decision' in this case grossed Red out, the message was still thoughtful and she appreciated it.

"So, that's why you couldn't sleep? PTSD?" Red asked with concern. Jacob just nodded before leaning back against the back of the sofa, glad that she hadn't run away like anyone else would. "I'm sorry" she whispered before shuffling over to him and laying her head on his shoulder.

Jacob tensed at the contact, not used to such gentle care and affection. He awkwardly shifted his arm around her waist and held her against him, unsure of how to act in this situation. Red smiled to herself as she melted into his touch. "What's your name anyway?" Jacob asked but Red just hummed. "Your name isn't Red, I'm not stupid" he rolled his eyes but never loosened his grip on her waist.

"Rieka, it means river. Rieka Stone" she answered. Jacob smiled ever so slightly, looking down at the girl that he arm was so proudly wrapped around. Maybe she was making him soft...and maybe he didn't care.