August 15, 2014
Dear Zayn,
While I was at the hospital, the boys took all of my shavers and blades. I need to cut. I've had the urge to cut sense yesterday and all I can do is scratch and bite at my wrists. The urge got so bad that the boys had to hold me down because I tried breaking the bathroom mirror. They don't understand! You can't just take away a suicidal person's blades. It's like taking alcohol away from an alcoholic. They keep saying that I need to stop hurting myself and that it'll get better. It won't get better! How can they say that? You died and your never coming back...nothing will ever be fine again. I miss you terribly. How is heaven? Is it like what we talked about? Is there a gold bridge when you enter Heaven? Is God there? Is he even real? I don't even know anymore...how can any God bring so much hurt to someone? All we wanted was to be happy together. I hope your happy up there or wherever you are.
Love you,
Niall
YOU ARE READING
Dear Zayn
RomanceAfter the death of Zayn, Niall goes to a very dark place and struggles with suicidal thoughts and actions. Can he find happiness again? Read Niall's journal entrys and go through the treacherous journey of depression and get his view of loss and pa...
