should i be here | bts.

| 13 |

I heard the padding of feet coming down the stairs and looked at the opening of the stairs and watched as Yoongi stepped off the last step and he looked at me like he shouldn't even be in the same vicinity as me.

"Yoongi," I stood up and took small steps towards him. "I'm sorry." I don't know what I'm apologizing for besides yelling at him because I was trying to meet everyone's standards. Yoongi pulled me into his arms and I stood in shock in his grasp.

"Just don't change yourself anymore." He whispered to me and pulled me closer to him.

"I can't make any promises," I said wrapping my arms around him. He let go of me and looked at me knowing that I have potential in this world, idol or not. But it's the BBMA's in two weeks, and we're leaving in the middle of next week. ARMY are voting so hard, and it's just amazing seeing all of these people pouring their hearts into our hands. We're performing Fake Love and it's so perfect to describe the parts of love that you want to run away from because they make you cry; hence the album name: "Love Yourself: Tear."

I spent the next day on the floor in front of the couch with my art supplies spread around me and painting while playing music without my headphones in, with the background noise of Fortnite and/or Overwatch. I sat there for hours, Taehyung every now and then offering me food or drink and I kept refusing his offers, I didn't even eat dinner; so all I had eaten that day was a banana.

I didn't feel like doing much besides work and art, my stomach had shrunk so I hadn't been eating much at all, but I was still healthy and happy with how I am physically and mentally. I overworked myself more than I should've but I kept quiet because we didn't need any more stress before the Billboard Awards.

The day of packing for going to Las Vegas, I had decided I wanted to surprise Haeun with lunch. I hadn't seen her since she had done my hair. I packed small sandwiches and some fruit salad and got halfway to the door before I got blocked from my entry to outside.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Taehyung stopped me as I looked up from the basket I was holding.

"To see Haeun at the salon." I smiled and tried to go by but he just made another wall with his body.

"Who's this 'Haeun?'" He asked as he leaned against the door.

"My unnie that did my hair, she's super nice; I promised her lunch sometime." I gave a sickly sweet smile that usually makes all of the members soft. He bent dangerously close to my face. I turned my face away to the side so my ear was facing him.

"Not without me." He smiled as he whispered and I stiffened. There was something in his tone of voice that made me shiver. It was like a growl, but not scary; it made me melt. Do I like Taehyung? It'll fade. Stop it y/n, you're too young and he's so out of your league and there is no time for dating. But he said he would date a '05- STOP. You will not let this distract you. Now think straight y/n.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and loosened back up and didn't realize Tae hadn't backed away yet.

"Hyung? You're a little," I gulped and put one foot behind me "close."

He gave a deep laugh, "Oh, am I?" He was still in a whispering state and stood back up. "Shall we?" He offered me his hand as he had his other hand on the doorknob. I awkwardly took it and we were off to the salon.

All the way to the salon, every time I heard a camera or a scream, I would flinch and squeeze Tae's hand a bit and pulled myself into the safety of his side. I would look up at him to find him with a smile on his face that said he was in a daze.

"We're here!" I smiled through the window and saw Haeun and waved at her. Still no business but she's still as happy as can be.

"You came here?" I nodded as Tae asked his question and pushed open the door and the bell had rung.