Alex Swan Eclipse

I hate me too

I was fuming when I heard about Bella breaking her hand punching Jacob because he kissed her Jacob comes through the door

"oh my god how reckless can you get?"I asked him pacing

"I did what I had to do"he said I laughed

"what did you think was gonna happen?Honestly jacob? You thought she was gonna fall under your spell and confess her undying love for you? It's not gonna happen trust me I've tried"i snapped at him

"you're one to talk.....look at you.....you act all tough in her face like you don't give a damn if she died but I know hell we all know that's not true"he fires back making me stop

"we all know it would kill you if she died we all know you care about her more than anything in this world Alex that's all we want is for you to care about something someone even if it's Bella"he said his voice growing softer as he got closer

"you think I wanna be like this? I hate being like this.....this isn't me....i don't even remember myself before I turned"i told him

"I have to spend eternity in a body that I don't even recognize and to let her go through this too....."I trailed off

"that's not your problem you've taken care of her as best as you can and she's ungrateful for the amount of time you put into that"emily tells me sadly Paul stands up

"she's not your responsibility anymore Alex I told you that"he said coming towards me I dived into his embrace without a second thought he accepted me holding me tightly it was hard to accept but my duty was done I protected her as best as I could she was old enough to make her own decisions but if she regretted it later then I could tell her I told you so
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I walked along the shore with paul the next day fingers intertwined

"Hey"jacob called running up to me

"hey"i said looking at him

"what are you up to?"I asked eyeing him suspiciously

"me quil and embry are going to the Cullen's party do you want to come?"he asked me

"so that punch in the face was a little too subtle for you?"I asked him raising my eyebrows

"Alex?"he warned

"you do realize she told Bella she's dead to her right?"paul asked him

"and I kissed her"he retorted

"sure why not?"I said

"Alex"paul warned me

"I'll be on my best behavior don't worry"i told him squeezing his hand Jacob walks away

"I really feel bad for him ya know he deserves so much better than that"i told him

"he'll find someone"paul said I looked at him

"but when is that? Life's not worth living if you don't have anyone to share it with"i told him

"so does that mean you'll be with me for a long time?"he asked I walked in front of him

"that depends on you I'm pretty sure I made my intentions pretty clear"i told him he bites his lip and nods he then picks me up my legs and arms wrapped around him he runs into the water dropping me

"oh my god paul"i laughed standing up I splashed water on him he laughs

"I hate you"i said he pulls me closer

"I hate me too"he said before pulling me into a kiss i kissed him back passionately wrapping my arms around his neck as his found my back