lucidity | shyland ✓

fifteen

chapter fifteen
an: sorry it's so short!

stretching my legs, my lower back ached and my stomach churned slightly, my eyes slowly blinking open. shane was laid on his side, vision fixated on me as i woke up. he wore nothing but neon green boxers, his face inches away from mine, nestled against the white pillows. a lazy smile appeared on my face, my eyes slightly fogging at first before slowly settling into a clear vision.

'morning, beautiful.' he whispered, brushing my cheek with his thumb as i hummed in reply. shuffling along the bed slightly, i fitted the top of my head under his chin and rested against his bare chest, hair brushing against my ears. he smelt like chocolate and cigarettes, this perfect smell that could never be replicated. i reached my fingers up and curled his auburn hair around them, making him sigh happily and press our lips together.

it was gentle, teeth skimming against my lower lip and stubble brushing against my cheek. i'm not sure how long we laid there for, exchanging small kisses as i snuggled further into him, smiling as he whispered in my ear how amazing last night was.

soon, he pulled away, stumbling slightly as he crawled out of bed. he picked out black basketball shorts and a grey shirt that had a little yellow duck on from the drawer next to the window. giggling, i tried to steal his shorts before he could put them on, making him raise his eyebrows with a smirk, tugging them away from my grasp. once he was dressed, he threw me a dark green top, the same one he had worn when we first met. i stood up and pulled it over my naked form, slipping on my underwear too. his eyes raked over me, shaking his head with a chuckle.

'what?' i asked with a laugh, taking a quick glance in the mirror. the well worn t shirt, that had some holes in the neckline, fell just above mid thigh and covered my boxers.

shane smirked. 'nothing, just...' his eyes fell on my ass, which wasn't quite covered as i knelt down to grab my phone from the floor. 'sometimes it's hard to believe you're mine.' he murmured, walking over to me and cupping my thighs as he pressed his lips against mine.

i winced at the touch, returning the kiss before lifting the oversized shirt up to reveal fingerprint bruises all along the line where my boxers finished. the smirk on his face grew as i sent a mocking glare at him, and his hands brushed against the painted green marks. i had to try not to focus on the memories of him gripping onto my skin as he pushed me against the bed frame; the thoughts made my stomach hot and my feet curl against the soft flooring.

'fuck, i need a smoke.' shane muttered, voice thick and raspy as the words rolled off his tongue. he headed over to the other side of his room, by the window, and turned to face me. 'you coming?' he asked, making me nod. i began to watch him, my eyes following his figure as he unlatched the window and climbed out onto the roof.

i followed his actions and rested my feet against the tough drain pipe. the tiled roof was rough yet comfortable beneath me, and i couldn't hide the small smile on my lips when shane's arm crawled around my waist, fingers resting on my hip bone.

'your neck's a pretty sight.' he commented, staring at the collar of my t shirt. i raised an eyebrow in question, having no idea what he meant. he rolled his eyes and brought out a small white box of cigarettes, choosing one before tossing them back through the window. i heard a thump as the box hit the carpet.

shane flicked his lighter on, flame flickering in the wind before being licked up by the cigarette. bringing it to his lips, cherry red and swollen from the night before, he exhaled as smoke settled around us. handing me the cigarette, he told me to look into the distance yet keep a straight face as he pulled out his phone. soon, the sound of a shutter could be heard, and i turned to face him with a shy smile.

he smirked as he gave me his mobile, inhaling the nicotine fix deeply. i stared at the phone, my eyes widening as i pondered how i had not noticed this in the mirror a few moments earlier. since the shirt was so baggy, it exposed all of my collarbone, and i bit my lip as i stared at the pink-red hickeys that coloured my skin like a canvas.

i shook my head, handing it back to him. 'shane.' i whispered as he took in a breath of smoke, cigarette in one hand. fingers brushing my jawline, his lips captured mine, lungs blowing smoke into mine. he grinned softly, pulling away and leaning against the tiles so his back was flat against the roof. i couldn't stop looking at him, my eyes glued to his face. the small crinkles whenever he smiles widely, his eyes such an intense colour of green that they were fading into a blue.

i leant back, resting against his chest, my head on his chest as we both stared upwards. the sky was clear and blue, only a few white clouds dotted around the sky. shane brought his cigarette back to his lips, inhaling the smoke for a few seconds before blowing rings of smoke right above our eye, still facing the sunshine.

'i wish every day of my life could be like this. if i could spend every second with you, i would. i'd sleep forever.' i whispered, tilting my head so my mouth was against his ear, making his fingers brush against mine. another jolt of electricity travelled through me, something i was so used to. my heart was beating fast as he turned his face so our foreheads were resting against each other.

he kissed my forehead, and pulling me close to him. my head seemed to perfectly fit in the crook of his neck as he rubbed his thumb over the palm of my hand. 'never leave me.' he murmured, sighing deeply.

i thought of my girlfriend, my father, my religion, and just crunched them into my fist. 'i think i'm going to break up with loren.' i admitted, and shane turned to me with wide eyes, shaking his head.

'ryland, you can't do that. your dad will kill you, your mom will hate you, you'll ruin decades worth of business enterprise just for me? no. i'm sorry. i cant let you do that.' his grip tightened on me, sitting up and staring down at me. i stayed flat against the roof tiles, glancing up at the clouds, trying to make shapes and ignoring him.

he repeated my name with urgency, making me snap out of my daze and sigh. 'sometimes i just... feel like i'm this money making machine, like i'm just a material. not just my dad, but my so called friends who only like me cause i'm popular with loren's friends. i've found this group of people who i think i can trust, and i've found you, yet i'm still this easy dollar bill my dad. i hate it.' i vented, my eyes flitting to shane.

he pulled me into him so i was sat on his lap, my legs wrapped around his torso as i straddled him. slowly, he took the last drag of his cigarette, watching the end dissolve into ashes against the roof, flicking it away. with both his hands, he cupped my face, kissing me gently before whispering words i would never forget.

'don't let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they're bored and step on you when they're done. be like drugs, let them die for you.

you're my drug, ryland, and i'm so god damn addicted to you.'