Cross My Heart, Hope To Die

Scared of Lonely

"Every day gets better." I exclaimed walking on the beach with Andre.

Andre replied, "Yeah, it's beautiful Ma."

"What's on your mind boy?" I asked.

"Sometimes, I feel like hurting her." Andre whispered.

"Let's sit. Lets sit." They sat down away from the water. "Who?" I asked.

"Rhonda." He answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Can we leave?" He asked suddenly.

Beyoncé P.O.V.

"I'm coming." I wrapped my rob around me and rushed to open my door. "Jay. You knocked."

"I did. Can I come in?" He asked. I moved out the way. He came in and shut I shut the door behind him

"Would you like something to drink." I asked.

"No, I'm good. I just wanted to talk." He replied.

"Okay. Have a seat." We sat on sofa awkwardly.

He started, "I'm sorry for what happened at the studio. I shouldn't have kissed you. I knew you had a fiancé."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have kissed you back. That should tell you what kind of person I am." I said with a dry chuckle.

"That tells me you're unhappy." He replied.

"Okay." I said taking a deep breath.

"Your marriage won't work." He stated. I looked at him confused. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. I just like you a lot and I think you deserve better but that still gives me no right to say what I said. Maybe you are happy. Are you?" he asked.

"If I am unhappy and I left him for you and we didn't work. I would be risking a public humiliation due to a big break up. I'll lose a good stable man, my parents would disapprove. I'm scared of you. I'm scared of being alone." I whispered.

Jay took her hand in his. "If you are unhappy and you left him for me. You could find the happiness you're looking for. We have the potential to fall in love. Become a power couple and start a family of our own. I think this is better than marrying a man you don't love and living a life you don't want because mommy and daddy say so."

"I love him." I replied. Jay got up, he grabbed me by the face and leaned into me. I wanted this kiss more than I would like to admit. Our faces were an inch apart.

"No, you don't." He whispered then raised his head and kissed me on the forehead. I couldn't help the obvious disappointment that fell over my face. "See you later, Bey." He walked out closing the door behind himself. I put my head in my hands. I ran off to get my phone.

"Cookie? Can I get studio time?" I asked.

"Hello to you too Miss Lady. From what I know studios is booked." Cookie replied.

"What about Lucious studio?" I asked praying I could use it.

"I don't know."

"Can you ask?" I questioned.

"Lucious and I aren't talking right now." Cookie said.

"Please Cookie. I need this. I got to figure some things out. I got so much in my head. I need this." I cried out.

"Alright. Alright. Go on over there. I'll tell him you're coming." She hung up.

Cookie P.O.V.