Stray Kids Imagines

Felix (Rqstd)

Author's Notue:

Thank you so much to paniniheadlgl for requesting this!❤ I hope you enjoy😭💕

P.S.

Huta talaga kase tong' wifi namin, break na talaga kami ni PLDT.😑 Kainis amp.

sorry I just really needed to rant about how freakin'  slow the wifi would come back cause its been days since we dont have wifiiiiiiiiiii😩😭

****

Sofia's POV

One cut...

two cuts....

three..

four...

...

I couldnt even count how many cuts I have by now. Ive been going through depression since... god knows for how long. It did kind of lessen when I met Felix and when we were together, I did try to stop it but... I couldn't.

One of the reasons why I was like this was because of my biological parents. Felix never really knew that they werent my real parents and that I was just adopted. Their real daughter died after a few months of being born due to lack of blood. So they decided to adopt me, well, my biological mother decided. My biological father never really knew that I was coming and he never wanted me. So every single day, whenever I go out of school, I always find them fighting because of the decisions they've made.

Because of the decision of having me.

I really couldnt stand it at some times and the idea of ending my life came across my mind a few times already.

But I couldnt leave Felix all alone.

His smile is the reason why I continue to fight everyday. The fact that he shows his love for me was the only motivation I had for my studies. But it works. It works a lot. He helped me survive and because of him, Im still breathing right now. I didnt want to end my life and see him crying afterwards.

I just couldnt.

Cutting was one way to express my feelings. At first I wanted to stop since I was afraid of pain. But as time passes by, it became an addiction. The stinging pain by every long cut I do by my arm and legs just makes me feel like I was looked down to and was never needed. But it was alright.

The pain was alright for me rather than hearing that Im nothing but a pain in the ass and a distraction in one's life.

Cutting myself was better than letting people spit theit hurtful words that may never leave my mind.

It was better for me.

I lowered the sleeves of my hoodie as I fixed my posture and looked at myself in the mirror. It doesnt look like Im haggard and sleepy at all thanks to the help of the concealer. I fixed my hair a bit as I proceeded to make my way out of the restroom and go to my next class.

As I saw Felix from the other room, I waved at him as my sleeve accidentally moved a bit revealing some of my small cuts. Quickly covering it as I lowered my head, I wished and prayed that he didnt see it as I quickly made my way to class.

''* * * * * * *''

As class was now over, I quickly made my way to my locker, still a bit nervous about what had happened earlier. I hope he didnt notice.

As I heard a sudden opening of the locker door beside me, I glanced to see Felix fixing his things as he closed his locker and faced me with worried yet confused eyes. I casually showed him my practiced smile like I usually do.

"What's wrong?" He suddenly asks as I continue to fix my things.

"What do you mean what's wrong?" I lie, still showing the small smile in my face.

"I saw it, now tell me." he says as he grabbed my wrist and I hissed in pain. He lets go of it instantly as he sighs and carries me to his car as he drove me to his place.

As we entered his dorm I sat on the couch as he gave me a glass of water.

"These past few months, you've been wearing long sleeves and clothes that usually cover your arms. Is there something you want to tell me?" he says as I shook my head a 'no'. He just sighs and too my hand which made me flinch and I know he noticed it.

"Sofia, if there's anything bothering you right now you do know you can tell me right? I didnt stand by your side to judge you, I stayed with you to help and love you." He paused as he looked into my eyes.

"So please, tell me whats going on." he pleads as I heaved a sigh.

"Im..." I try to make up an excuse but I know that he wont believe me.

He suddenly took my arm lightly and pulled up the sleeve as I squinted my eyes shut.

I didnt want you to know.

"S-sofia..." I could feel tears rolling down onto my cheeks.

"Please Felix, we need to go, were g-gonna miss class." I chocked as I try to get out of his grip.

"I dont care!" he shouts making me flinch and fully retrieve my arm back as I curled up into a ball, still trying to control my crying.

"You mean to say... All this time.. youve been experiencing depression and you never told me?!" he states as I sniffed and cried.

"Sofia, do you know how much this hurts me?! Seeing you suffering like this?!" he continued as he paced around and I covered my face with both of my palms.

"Im sorry..." I whispered as I couldn't make my voice loud as usual from all my crying.

"Sofia...I..." He didn't contiue what he was going to say when I tugged his arm.

"Please felix... I dont want to fught right now..." I plead as my crying just got louder but I try to reduce it.

I dont want you to hate me.

"Sofia... Im..." he sighs as he made his way to me and hugged me.

"Im sorry." the tint of sadness can be heard in his voice.

We stayed like that for a while as he caressed my hair until I calmed down.

"Im so sorry, you had to go through this on your own. But next time, please tell me everything okay? I wanted to be with you not only to show you how much I live you but to also make you feel that you're not alone. That you were never alone. So please, even if you don't feel like it today or tomorrow, please open up?" he pleads as he held both of my hands and placed it near his chin as he closed his eyes making my heart break into millions.

"Okay..." I whispered as I repeatedly say sorry as he shushed me.

"Its fine. So, still wanna go to school today? I feel like we should rest for now though." he suggested as he pulled me over for a cuddle and I smiled.

"A nap would be nice." I say as he smiled.

"A nap it is." He says as he helped me take off my shoes and we cuddled our way to sleep.