War Wounds You Can't Reach • Stucky

WWYCR: 0.3: chapter three

a/n: sorry if this comes out later, chapters will be scattered. i won't be updating as frequently. i'll be in florida, and i won't have my laptop and i'll be too busy to write. so please bare with me; but it's only for five or so days!

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steve
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steve lay face down on buck's couch, sighing into the oblivion that he'd be living him. a never ending cycle: needing, wishing, crying, regretting, mourning, repeat. more than half the time to say the least. the navy seas of mourn were starting to drown him. he couldn't take it forever.

"bucky, where the hell are you?" steve asked the cloth under him, which had rain stains from the tears that came driving their ways constantly out of the oceans that were steve's eyes. he wanted to end it, so he could be with bucky. but if bucky was alive, then steve would make him go through the pain that steve was going through now. ultimately being the reason bucky would have to die, just to "be" with steve. that's what was keeping him going.

bucky was killing him, and simultaneously saving his life.

the draft flew through the crack from the back door, steve ignored it. wanting nothing but the person he had loved since the beginning of his life. he wanted- no needed to tell him everything. he needed to tell him the truth. the truth was eating him alive because it wasn't in the mind of the person it needed to be in. steve tugged on his golden-sand locks of hair, eyes scrunching as the existential thoughts flew in and out of his million-mile-a-second mind.

steve looked up, staring at the arm of the beige sofa in the small living-room bucky lived in. he found no purpose in standing up, or even getting off the couch in the first place, but he was hungry. he got up slowly, limbs sore from the actions. mentally exhausted. he limped mentally, purposel doing it physically, to the kitchen. nothing hurt, his heart was just numb. he grabbed a back of heat up mac n' cheese, the king really wanted him to feel at home.

he put the little plastic cup into the microwave, heating it up for three minutes. he leaned on the stainless steel sink, waiting patiently with a bowl and a spoon on the counter beside him, waiting patiently for the cheese. he didn't realize that he didn't clean the bowl from the morning. he also didn't realize that he was cooking two cups of mac n' cheese, as if bucky were there.

he put the bowl in the sink, the microwave only had-

BOOM

steve dropped to the floor, holding onto the counters as the ground around him shook. opening the microwave door, he ran out the back door, looking across the river. nothing was there. he looked to the fields by the trail at the front of buck's house. there was someone lying on the grass. dead grass, but they were face down. brown hair. steve ran over, completely invested to help this person. some civilians looked on in fear, knowing steve would protect them.

steve kneeled beside the body, long hair draped the back of the head, he noticed right away who it was. steve shook the body. the navy armor moving with it. a limp metal arm, alive real arm. there was a pulse, and steve flipped over the body. his eyes were closed, but they flickered a little.

steve looked down at bucky barnes, holding him in his grasp, cradling him like a baby. facing away from the civilians. they inched closer as steve looked down at his best friend, murmuring silent little motivations and prayers. he needed him to wake up.

"s-steve?' bucky whispered, his steel eyes opening to the wakanda sun. before anything could happen, steve leaned down into bucky, not hesitating. letting his heart drive through a wall without notice.

he rushed into a kiss, putting force into it. passion. red and pink holding them in the position. steve lost his grip as the kiss became more real. bucky was kissing back as best as he could, extremely weak, but there. steve knew it too, and smiled against his friend's lips. the ones with the light tint that he missed ever so much.