Two Different Tears - HunHan

Summer Goodbye

Summer Goodbye

          It was a cold morning when Luhan woke up, he’s still half asleep. Wishing Sehun was there as he saw their picture on the wall. Luhan picked up his phone and called Sehun.

          “Hey…” Luhan. I doesn’t know how to start our conversation. I am shy to ask Sehun, what are his plans this summer and our graduation. There we were again, forcing laughter and faking smiles. We’re so tired being likes this to each other but were trying our best to bring back our relationship.

          “I miss you so much…” Luhan. Saying these words I felt great to show my feelings for Sehun. It’s been a month since we talk to each other because we are both busy because of school.

          “Hey..Stop being so cheesy *laughs*”

          “I missed you too…If you are available today; let’s meet up at the coffee shop this evening. I want to tell you something about my plans this summer and I want you to be part of it. I’ll hang up.” Sehun

          “Oh…Thanks for inviting me. See you later.” Luhan.

This is something new for Luhan. He’s very excited to see him and talk to Sehun. In the afternoon Luhan had his lunch and he also sleep. It is almost evening when Luhan woke up. He called Sehun.

          “Hey! Where are you?” Sehun. I can feel he’s getting irritated.

          “I’m sorry. I just woke up and I’m on way there.” Luhan. I am worried about being late again. I sighed and smiled about thinking of Sehun.

          “Oh..Hurry up!!! I can’t wait to see you. Bye.” Sehun. Finally he’s in a good mood.

It feels great that we are back again being like this. But it’s very hard for the both of us to start all over again; I am willing to do anything just to get Sehun back. I really miss him, everything about him makes me insane and I know he misses me too.

My thoughts of Sehun leaving me won’t leave my mind; it’s very sad and hurting. Every night I have nightmares about our relationship, that’s so sick. I know from the very start that I don’t deserve him yet I’m still here to support and love him forever and eternally, no matter what happens I’ll love him till my last breath.

I arrived just in time. The smell of the coffee and pastries inside is really amusing. Here we go again. I found Sehun at the counter; I bet he’s very hungry and I’m sure he cannot wait to see me. We had bubble tea and a cheese cake.

This is awkward; the two of us are just too shy to begin. So I started to tell him how he looks very beautiful and he hasn’t change. I laugh because he starts to blush; I cannot control my feels. Sehun looks cute.

          “Will you please stop teasing me?”Sehun says as I keep on laughing.

          “Ok. I’ll stop teasing you. But you look so beautiful. So..How are you?” We’re back being neutral.

          “It’s been month since I talk to you. I’m going to be honest; I missed you.” I am suspired by his answer. I feel sad and happy by his answer.

          “I’m still Sehun; the one you loved. I become stronger after what happened to us. It feels weird that I still love and hate you. I just don’t know; I am happy with this kind of our relation.”

 Someone stop Sehun; I’m going to cry.

Not again.

This so wrong; How could he say that he love and hate me. That’s just very confusing. I know he doesn’t mean it and he wants me back.

Talking to Sehun is very intense; so I change our topic.

          “Stop joking around and yes I missed you too. By the way; what are your plans this summer?” I hope he’s going to answer me in a nice way. I’m so annoyed at his words.

          “I’m going to be honest. I’m here to see you for my last good bye. I’m going to move abroad for my internship. I hope you are happy with my decision besides even if you say no; I’m still going.” He is calm while saying these words. What the hell.

What is happening to him?

Sehun is wrong to say that he hasn’t change.

He’s very different now. I can’t believe him to say those words that it won’t change anything to him if I didn’t approve. Definitely this is war between us. I manage to smile but inside I’m really disappointed.  

          “How could you?”

          “Why are you being like this to me?”

I can see Sehun is being displeased; he doesn’t look into my eyes.

          “I am actually happy about your internship but why it would be in aboard? You can just have it here.”

          “Please don’t leave me hanging again. This is unhealthy for the both of us; like we wanted each other but in reality we’re broken. I still love you even if you hate me the most. I am afraid to sleep every night because I have nightmares about us. I can’t help but to just cry cry and cry and try to imagine things will be ok again but it won’t; it’s getting worse. I’m emotionally, spiritually and mentally attached to you. I love you Sehun.”

While I was saying these I didn’t know that I’m crying in front of him. Sehun should be crying not me. It doesn’t make sense to me that I am crying in front of him but I want him to feel that I’m alone and I need him.

          “How are we going to undo all the pain. I don’t deserve you and I’m sorry if you’re having nightmares. Please Luhan just don’t stress yourself just because of me; it won’t help you and I to move on. I don’t want to see you like this. I wanted you to be brave enough for me.”

Bitter words spoken; it is making us tired again and again. I found myself being so depressed after what Sehun said. It hurts so much; I don’t how to response to him.

Looking to his eyes, I can feel the pain in his heart. Sehun is holding back his tears; he doesn’t say anything. My mind is spinning; I walk up to him and hug him. Sehun was shock by my actions; I am happy that he did not push me or something. We are so close; he is my favorite place. I enjoy his accompany because I know he will leave me.

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Stay tuned for the next chapters :)