Two Different Tears - HunHan

Bubble Tea

Bubble Tea

“I thought everything was okay. I thought I can survive. I thought I would be happy. I thought I can love again…”

“I was wrong all the time. It hurts so much…There are no words to express how I am feeling…”

Luhan POV

I feel dumb and I am beyond sad. The worst thing is that I am sick. I didn’t expect to be in this kind of situation. Every day and night I have nightmares that I can’t find any explanation for that. They say that I’m in the state of in denial; probably yes because I can still remember the one that got away.

I need to be healthy again and most importantly move on from the past that hunting me. I don’t know where to start; it makes me so hopeless but I won’t give up. Everything happens for a reason but sometimes it is not just right.

I’m still lucky because I have Kyungsoo. He always tell me to be strong, he makes jokes that are corny but I still laugh and he wants the best for me. I should be thankful to him.

They say that staying inside a hospital is lonely but for me this is my new home. I feel safe and secured; it’s weird for my parents and Kyungsoo. But I tell them that staying here instead of going to school and sleeping here instead working at night, I found a place where I can be myself and think about my future.

These past few months, I isolate myself from everyone. I don’t feel talking to anyone. Even when I need to and I need help, I keep on my mind it’s better to keep quiet and just sleep. Kyungsoo is being angry towards my actions. He still visits me and shares his notes. Speaking realistically I told my parents that I need time and I need to rest that I won’t be able to attend college and it’s hard for me to cope up with the lessons because I was absent. At first, they didn’t allow me but when my doctor told them that I am very sick, my parents finally approved. When Kyungsoo find out about this he was sad but he also thinks this is better for me and he promised to visit me 3 times in a week.

“Bubu, I think you’re lucky enough to stay here. If only you could imagine how stressed and tired I am because of college yet you’ll be missing a lot.”

“I feel sorry for you haha and guess what, I’m rooting for you. Kyungsoo, yes I am lucky to be here. Every day I just read books and sleep. Sometimes I watch movies and cartoons. I even go outside to exercise and eat what I want but all of these seem happiness but there’s something missing.”

“Ohh. Then what’s missing? Like you should be happy for all this things yet I can see in your eyes that you’re lonely”

“I don’t know what’s missing but there is and I am not lonely. I’m just tired and sick.”

“I know what’s missing!!! Luhan hahaha. You can’t fool me; it’s your smile. You’re smile that is so sweet and charming. You often smile and you always think negatively.”

“Seriously!!! Kyungsoo!!! Yes you are correct because I am sick. I always think negatively because that’s how I feel and how I see the world. I keep on telling myself not be like this but it’s just hard… and you know that everything is temporary.”

“Luhan…okay let’s stop being so dramatic. Just remember that I’m here to be your best friend, buddy and brother. I won’t give up on you. Here’s a bubble tea to lighten up your mood.”

“Thank you Kyungsoo for not letting go.”

Stay Tuned J