It was supposed to be a simple run for gas for the hotel's limo...what could POSSIBLY go wrong? ...EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING COULD GO WRONG Starring Angel dust, Husk, Alastor and Niffty! All characters and elements of Hazbin Hotel belong to Vivienne Me...
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(At the same time Husk and Niffty rush out of the Pizzeri, Angel and Alastor emerge from the woods nearby!)
Husk: !! ANGEL YOU SUN-OF-A-B*TCH!!!
Angel; HUSK YOU-wait, why you mad?
Husk: IF YOU'D HADN'T BEEN GETTIN; HIGH OFF YER ASS YOU WOULDA' BEEN ABLE TO PAY INSTEAD OF LEAVING SU TO NEARLY GET EATIN' BY A CANNIBAL CHEF!
Angel; ..SAY WHAT!?!?
Alastor: Oh MY!! Seems like I REALLY missed the fun here!
Niffty: ...hey, Husk? Angel doesn't look high?
Angel; I AIN'T high, I'm F*CKIN' SHOOK! Or whatever that means! I just got double crossed because I chose the f*ckin' clean route!
Husk: YOU-* wait...you did?
Alastor; Indeed, Angel chose protecting the well-fair of the Princess and ourselves rather then his own desires for a change!
Niffty: OH MY GOSH This is WONDER-TABULOUS! We're so proud of you Angie!
Angel; yeeahhhhh WALLY ain't so much..he woulda' skinned me an' f*cked my corpse if Al hadn't stepped in.
Husk: that aint' nothin' the pizzeria chef's a f*cking cannibal who was gonna cook us alive because we weren't able to pay-
Alastor; Everyone, as RIVETING as tonight's VIOLENT and GOREY events have been, we've run into another dilemma.
Angel; aside from the drug dealer who's after my ass?
Husk: aside from the cannibal chef we knocked out and will gouge out our eyeballs if we're still around when he wakes up?
Niffty: aside that we didn't get leftovers for Charlie and Vaggie!?
Husk: That's the least of our problems now Niffty-
Alastor; AHEM, back to topic...WHERE IS OUR MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION?
(They look to the station where the limo was parked....and it's NOT THERE)
Niffty: ...Oh dear-!!! Husk, did you leave the keys in the car!?
Husk: ...I thought ANGEl took the keys...?
Angel; I thought I left them with you?!
Alastor; IN THE CAR?
Angel; !!!!!!! F*CK!!! THOSE SONS-OF-BITCHES MUST"VE-! "Offer of a life time' MY F*CKIN' ASS!!
Alastor; indeed, seems he was quite SERIOUS when he said you didn't have a choice....
Husk: where the f*ck would he have taken it?!!
Niffty: OH!! Maybe the gas station attendant can help us! He seemed nice!! (she skips inside to tell him!)
Angel; hold up...nun' o this makes sense
Husk: seems pretty dry cut to me, our car got taken by some thugs who can't take no for an answer, story of YOUR afterlife, right?
Angel; NO no No, I mean, Wally's Operation looked so...small. He didn't have that many thugs on his property, and there's NO WAY he could've taken the ride without someone interfering or seeing...unless.. (his eyes go wide) OH SH*T!! NIFFTY COME BACK!! (he dashes inside, a confused and alarmed Alastor and Husk rushing after him, the trio entering just as Niffty's finishing hyper explaining!)
Petro: Ugh, ok ok slow down..What the sh*t did you just say? Drugs? My chef? Car? What...?
Angel; NUTHIN' NUTHIN'!! (as he and husk grab Niffty) she's just jacked up on sugar-!!
Alastor; We just need help getting our ride back from the drug dealers in the back woods of your establishment before the cannibal chef in your basement wakes up to cook us!
(Angel and Husk give him "Are you f*cking kidding me?!" looks while Petro places his head in his hands, groaning)
Petro Ugh, this is too much...
Husk: ugh, yeah, tell me about it-
Petro: NO....You KNOW TOO MUCH (he suddenly pulls out a gun!)
Angel; SH*T HIT THE DECK!!! (they all duck down trying to get away!)
Niffty: (trying the door) WE'RE LOCKED IN!!! THAT'S NOT NICE AT ALL!
Petro I have a VERY comfortable operation with Wally Y'know?! His boys come in for business, get the cars gassed up, bring bodies of their competition for my cook so I can keep this f*cking pizzeria open without eating the customers....and YOU all had to come in and screw it up!!
Angel; WHOA WHOA WHOA PETRO BUDDY! We're ain't gonna RAT on yeh-!
Petro: IT'S TOO LATE FER THAT!! I Know YOU can't keep yer mouth shut! That's how WALLY got jailed in the f*ckin' first place!! Do yeh know how LONG he was in purgatory for?! I aint' goin' there, not after the horror stories he told me!!
Husk: ....sorry Petro, but I think you're gonna have to find out! (he throws his cards at him...they hit his gooey body with no effect....until they EXPLODE in a cloud of dust!)
Husk: RUNFORIT!!
(they all break the glass of the door, racing out of the gas station, hiding out back)
Niffty: NOW what do we do! We're trapped out here with all these scary people!
Husk: well it isn't like any of us can call for help, the bosses would have our asses on probationary house arrest for a MONTH.
Alastor; I know, isn't it EXCITING! Though if I were these thuggish drug dealers, I'd be more worried about US!!
Angel: ...Al's right... (adjusts his gloves) we aint' playin' these stupid games no more...we're gettin' our ride...and we're goin' home. But... (grins) not before getting some PAYBACK for the lousy customer service.
ALL IMAGES, CHARACTERS AND ELEMENTS OF HAZBIN HOTEL BELONG TO VIVIENNE MEDRANO
Thanks to Krono aka TremendousMiracleCherryBlossom on tumblr for editing!
