Angel Eyed (DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE)

thirteen

"And I have another thing to tell you." He adds, shifting from his position for the first time in what had felt like forever.

I couldn't focus on the current page anymore from his constant movements distracting me so I sat up, returning to my previous position next to him. "What is it?" I asked.

Bill placed the book down, twisting his body so he was directly facing me. He folded his legs against the bed. He hitched, his breath fanning over to my visage as I absentmindedly stare at his face in confusion, my eyes cautiously watching each crease that would appear on his skin. His face was even brighter with his hair pushed back. Most of the time his strands would be littering his his forehead. He kept on looking down, seemingly incapable of maintainig eye contact like he had done something wrong to me, and I couldn't help but feel worried. I haven't seen him act that way since his calculus pre-finals, which was unnecessary since he practically slayed that exam, and now his face was the same.

"Cass-- I--" He blurted out before interjecting his own words by clearing his throat. "I just wanted to tell you something--"

A frown crawled its way up to my face, confusion swimming in my head each second I watched the unease on his face morph into an unusual mixture of awkwardness and determination. Despite my continous perplexity, I sat there still. Bill ran both of his hands through his hair, quickly pulling mine into his afterwards, finally gathering the courage to look directly into me. His eyes were unstable, every now and then attempting to break his gaze from me. His palms were hot, and sweaty on mine, his thumb brushing against the bones of my knuckles.

"I know what to say--" He continues to struggle with whatever he was trying to imply, the impatience lingering in the room getting to me. "--I just don't know where to start."

"Bill, come on." I uttered, my own heart beginning to thud louder into my chest. "spit it out."

"Cass." He sucked in a breath, his grasp tightening on mine, "You know you're my best friend right?"

Even though I've known that fact for a while now and I cherish every single thing about it, the way it comes out of his mouth now makes me want to break out of my skin to truly know what's bothering him.

"And good friends aren't supposed to lie." He continues and I nod, wanting him to just get straight to the point so the war inside my head would end soon. "Well, I may or may have not done just that."

"What are you trying to say?"

I was the one sweating balls. Why was I so terrified of whatever it is that he would reveal to me? For all I know the things I've done to keep him with me are far worse, and I was still suffering from the guilt that came along with them. I sold my soul to the devil, for fuck's sake, and I'm not even scared of the consequences; which is most certainly death. Even even if he tells me he murdered someone, mine would still be the more horrible.

"I knew the professor was going to give us this report one week before he announced it." He stated, and part of me fell back down to the comfort of knowing he did not murder someone. Although I was still at the edge of my seat, for I realized none of what he was telling me made sense. "I've already done the twenty pages--"

"Bill, where are you getting at?"

"Cass," He tenses at the sound of my voice. "The real reason I wanted to come here with you is not because of the book report. I-I wanted to be alone with you."

"And?"

"And I want you to know you're very special to me, and I would never do anything to harm our friendship." He took another deep breath, greedily taking in all of the air surrounding us, almost depriving me the right to do the same.  And as if that wasn't enough he continued, "But I've been carrying this for so long now, and I decided that it's now or never . . I'm in love with you."