SILLAGE 𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘴

trois.

You cried all night and you didn't wake up the next morning. I couldn't really sleep, so I just watched you the entire time.

With a heavy heart, I took notice of your puffed eyes from crying, your red lips, your pink cheeks and how much of a mess you looked. Despite all that, you looked all too beautiful — a sad beauty.

I would be humming songs, the ones you always liked, and I tried to take hold of your hand — multiple times as I hadn't gotten over the fact I couldn't touch you.

You couldn't feel me, you couldn't see me, you couldn't hear me — It hadn't been just you who cried that night.

Your phone rang multiple times, the name 'Jisoo' popping up every 2 minutes. And she seemed to give up for a while — until she decided to send messages.

I read every one she sent, telling you she was sorry for not being there since she was busy with work, also mourning for my death.

I found myself suddenly scared at the word. Death.

I felt scared somehow, I was dead. And yet here I was, near you, yet not existing at all.

My head whipped your way when hearing you shift in your sleep, your eyes were hazed at first before the sleepiness went away and only the sadness remained.

You were silent. Not speaking a word and your eyes just on the ground.

"...Lisa..." I murmur your name, crouching down before you and trying to meet your eyes. "Lisa..." I wanted to cry.

You stood up from the couch lazily, I finally saw the picture you held and I saw myself. And I remember it was the picture when we first got the apartment.

We had Chaeyoung take that picture for us, me and you, in each other's arms, smiles brightening our features.

You looked so beautiful.

And I felt the warm tears trickling down my cheeks and they formed broken crowns when hitting the floor.

I felt horrible,

because I didn't want to suffer.