SILLAGE 𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘴

neuf.

Somehow, it felt as if far from here, I could hear a clock ticking. Ticking away the hours, the minutes and the seconds.

I twirled another strand of your hair between my fingers and smiled as I brought it up to my lips, kissing it softly.

"I want you to take care of yourself more..." I whisper to you. You blink once, twice before shifting while still in my embrace.

"It's not like I don't..." You tried to lie. But I knew better.

Shaking my head, I placed my lips on the top of your head, for a mere second. "Lisa, do you have any idea of how tired you look? I know that you go to bed late these days." I try to keep my tone still soft, trying not to scold you too hard, trying not to make you feel guilty of your mistakes.

I cup your cheek and make you look up. "No matter what, I'll be here for you. Keep on thinking about that." My fingers taps your nose as I smile childishly.

You also laughed softly before smiling, and making all of my insides churn at once at the sudden sight of it. It was then, that I couldn't help but to lean in and place my lips onto yours. and it seemed that all of my body had come back to life.

to feel the softness of your lips against mine was such an amazing feeling, and when you returned the kiss with as much passion, my arms tightened their hold around you, bringing you closer.

I felt like I was running out of breath, I didn't want to pull away but I needed to.

Both of our heavy pants could be heard, I could feel your own hot breath fawn over my lips and I was sure mine had been over yours. My eyes opened slowly, hoping to meet yours, but they were closed. and my hand went up to touch your reddened lips softly.

"I love you so much, so, so much..." I couldn't help but breathlessly say those words to you. "I am always by your side, I know I've said that so many times tonight, but, please, don't—"

you looked up at me, desperation clear in your eyes. "You aren't going to leave now, are you?" Your hands grips my forearms.

Shaking my head, I tightened my lips into a line. "No, not now. But I don't when I'd be leaving either..." Tears seemed to pool around your eyes, threatening to spill. "We both know I can't stay here forever, Lisa... As much as it hurts, eventually I will go."

"But I don't want you to go!" you cried.

"And I don't want to either." I replied softly. "But it's the truth of things, we both need to accept that."

Tears started to slide down your cheeks again. "Why... I don't understand— Why does it have to be that way."

And I also found myself crying upon hearing your words, I brought you close to my chest. "I know— It's all my fault, hate me, Lisa. You have every right to not forgive me. Because of me you have to suffer, because I was so damn selfish." I brush your hair sadly. "But even if you don't forgive me, I'll keep on loving you, even if you move on, I'll keep on loving you—"

"But I'll never move on, Yukhei."

I laugh sadly at your words, nodding my head to them. "As I was a possessive guy when I was alive, and I still feel like it now, I'll only wish you happiness. You will move on, Lisa— you'll have to."

You shook your head. "But why..."

"There's no use in loving someone who's not there for you when you really need them, I won't be there to hold you like I once was, I'll be able to hear but not comfort you with my words, I'll be there, but you won't be able to see me.

That's the reality of things. And I know it hurts."