On Land

Chapter 14: Lies and Pain

Alas's POV:

Maybe it's time to leave again. He doesn't want me here, I'm alone, my parents hate me, Kuma is the only one that cares for me. I just want him, to kiss me, to hold me close, but no I messed up. Everyone is right I am a curse. I should have just left and never came back! Kuma walks to me, eyebrows furrowed "Uh....bro? I think...I saw your mate in an alley...but then again....he was coming out...he had a weird look on his face" I frown "I think that's called hate and disgust...I really don't care, he hates me now" she shakes her head "No, he was coming our way..." she looked around and pointed "He's coming, eh...his mind is loud...very...very loud...and that isn't hate" I frown and watch him carefully "Kuma stay behind me okay?"

She huffed as she walks toward him, I grab her arm pulling her close to me "no!" she shakes me off and runs toward him, I run after her picking her up "NO means No Kuma! Listen to me for once in your life!" I walk away from him complete ignoring him now. He hates me and it's a fact, time to face it. She squirms "Put me down! I will tell our parents you are here if you don't talk to him! If you could hear what I hear!" I frown "Kuma, he's already said everything he needed to today...I'm sorry but this isn't some romance novel." I put her down.

She huffs again "Fine, leave him if you choose. But he came to kiss you, in fact, tell you sorry. But you're so stubborn you can't see that!" She stomps away, pulling a confused Ethan with her. I sigh and wipe my eyes, "Kuma if you tell mom and dad you know they'll kill me!" I sit on the edge of the cliff. She stops and turns "Well maybe they won't if you talk to this person next to me you idiot!! Ethan, come on, he's too damn stubborn," Ethan looks at her, amused. I frown and look at them, of course, he's amused, he hates me and likes the way I am...weak. I stand and walk towards my sister grabbing her arm and leaning to her ear whispering "you would rather your brother die?" I move back and let her think. I already know the answer, so I move away going back to the cliff. She huffs and turns, her other hand propped on her hip.

"You idiot, course not, but if you don't listen to this man, I will enjoy every damn bit of it, Ethan lets go." She tries to move him but he stops and stares at me. I glare at him "what? Do you have something you want to say? Go ahead, I've already cried all my tears away" He shakes Kuma off and strides over to me, his jaw set, "Do you still love me?" I frown and stand to meet his eyes "I don't know, Ethan, maybe if I wasn't gone for two months to make sure you didn't die. I'm not sure, because last time I checked you were mad that I went away to protect your ass, so sorry I don't have an answer for you" the waves crashed violently, as I hiss out the words, the clouds darkening.

His jaw tightens as he stares at me, "So you still wouldn't know if I did this?" I glare at him, he cups my face and moves in front of me. He kisses me roughly, I close my eyes. I wanted this so bad but now I don't know...I move away "stop! Why do you care about a person that put you at risk! Why! Why! Wh-" my sister facepalms and sighs deeply. Ethan's eyes flick with hurt, he straightened his shoulders "Maybe because I thought it over, maybe I felt bad...maybe....maybe..." his face screws up in pain. He turns and runs down to the shoreline, running around a rock and disappearing. My sister glares at me, I glare back "I'm done with love Kuma, and you can tell him." I walk to her placing my finger on her chest pushing slightly "you don't know what it feels like to wake up every night for two months straight crying in fear. You don't know how it feels to know the person you love hates you and doesn't want you! You don't know!"

Her eyes flick red as she slaps me, hard, "He didn't just fuckin' tell you he doesn't! You damn prick! I may not know but I know what his mind is screaming! Leave or go find him, I ain't protecting your ass no more," she whips around and runs into the water, her tail flicking as she swims away. I growl as I walk to the cliff, "WHY DON'T I JUST JUMP AND DIE NOW! MAYBE IT WILL SOLVE EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS!!" I scream at the top of my lungs, knowing it would reach Ethan, knowing it would reach my sister.

In the back of my mind I knew why, but right now I don't care, I step closer to the edge. "MAYBE ETHAN WILL LIVE A HAPPY LIFE, MAYBE KUMA WILL BE HAPPY! MAYBE IT'S JUST ME AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE'S LIFE IS SCREWED UP" I take another step closer to the edge, I look over the edge. I yelped as I get pulled back "Or maybe someone can't deal with seeing you for so long and can't do anythin' cause they're scared," I frown "let me go! I need my stupid life to end Ethan!"

He tightens his grip "I don't care, I don't care that you're stupid, I don't care your life is screwed up. But wouldn't it be better screwed up with me? Or do still not know that I'm in love with you?" I glare at him "I. Don't. Need. Love. You sure as hell wouldn't be here if not for me, you sure as hell wouldn't be worrying about me starving or dying for two months" he growls and spins me around. Again I'm slapped but harder "How the hell am I supposed to know that? But if you didn't I'd be cutting myself because I thought it was my fault. I really did miss you! I still do! I miss you in my arms! Alas, I missed you!" I grunt "so do my parents." I move out of his grip and hold my cheek tears falling stinging it more "but I don't love them anymore because they want to hurt you!" I cry harder and move away afraid to be hit again, "but I'm scared, and when I told you I was scared you were mean and cruel to me! How am I supposed to say I love you when I'm scared" he steps closer to me.

"You ran away! I was mad because my sister moved away! My arm was dislocated! And I thought you forgot about me!" he hiccups as he cries softly. I move away again "Ethan I'm scared now can't you hear, I'm scared of losing you again, I'm scared if I have to leave so you don't die I'll come back to cold arms like I did when I did come back, Ethan! I'm scared!" I place my hand on my stinging cheek. He licks his lips and sighed "And I'm telling you I'm right here! Right fuckin' here! Let me make you less scared! I would rather be beaten then live my damn life without you!"

He looks at me sadly as he backs away slowly "But what am I supposed to do when you keep yelling at me and not telling me anything....I'm sorry....I am...but I don't think you see that right now..." he looks down, his shoulders slumped as he starts to walk away "I'll be in my cave..." I cry harder, sobbing as I drop on the ground laying here closing my eyes. Why can't I just accept him back! I know why because I've been cursed since the beginning. I hear him hiccup as he starts his boat. The last sound before I pass out, I see darkness, and I don't think I'm coming back from it this time.